[Nfbf-l] Exciting Changes in Our Upcoming Convention
Kirk
kvharmon54 at gmail.com
Thu Apr 2 22:10:15 UTC 2009
Dan, I'm still laughing! This is some of the best reading from the NFBF
in quite some time! LOL! I thoroughly enjoyed this truly witty writing you
gave us and like I said, I'm still laughing. I Thank You for sharing your
writing skills with us all, it was wonderful! Your friend in the cause,
Kirk
Kirk Harmon
1031 Lenmore CT.
Orlando, FL. 32812
Phone:
Office: 1-407-380-3371
Cell: 1-407-473-2176
BVA/FR
District Director
E. central Division
BVA/FR
Fundraising coordinator
911 cell phone donations Program
City of Orlando
Mayor's Advisory Counsel
Counsel member
"Blinded Veteran's Helping Blinded Veteran's"
"Smiles are nothing more than 30 second vacations"!
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dan Hicks" <danjhicks at yahoo.com>
To: <nfbf-l at nfbnet.org>; <NFBF-Leaders at yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, April 01, 2009 7:09 AM
Subject: [Nfbf-l] Exciting Changes in Our Upcoming Convention
> Fellow Federation Convention Enthusiasts.
>
> Please read this announcement carefully and in its entirety. It contains
> important information.
>
> Have you grown tired of NFBF Conventions because they are always being
> held in Florida's nicest, most comfortable hotels? Are you weary of carpet
> on the floors, the availability of room service, and air conditioning?
> Well, if this is you, will be thrilled at the changes the National
> Federation of the Blind of Florida is making to our upcoming NFBF State
> Convention.
>
> The changes were announced at a special press conference, held earlier
> today.
>
> NFBF President Kathy Davis began with a momentous announcement, before
> taking questions.
>
> "As you all know, the state of Florida has recently been impacted with
> revenue shortfalls. In order to conserve funds, our legislature has closed
> some of our state's facilities of incarceration. One of these is the
> Lemonville State Penitentiary in Sunshine County, a facility which, until
> recently, housed more than 500 inmates. Rather than let the penitentiary
> go vacant, we have decided to use it to hold this year's state convention.
> This is the first convention we have held in beautiful Sunshine County,
> which is located somewhere south of Tallahassee and somewhat north of
> Miami."
>
> First Vice President Dwight Sayer said, "You could say we art taking
> Lemonville, and making lemonade.
>
> Second vice President Dan Hicks said, "We are only the second state
> affiliate to hold its convention in a prison. The Kansas affiliate
> recently held its state convention at Leavenworth Penitentiary. However,
> they sound found it may have not been a good idea to hold the convention
> at a facility which is still in being utilized to house inmates. But,
> being as Lemonville is officially closed, we won't have to deal with any
> unnecessary confusion or hostage situations or anything like that."
>
> NFBF Board Member Betty McNally said "The local chapter of Florida's
> Ex-Cons has already put Braille on all the cells. I am pleased to say that
> it is almost 90 per cent accurate. You really don't want to criticize the
> work those guys do."
>
> NFBF President Kathy Davis introduced Elvira Grundlespike, who used to be
> the chief warden at the Lemonville facility. Grundlespike said, "We are
> really happy to have your club meet at our lovely penitentiary. It has
> been fully cleaned and decorated, with most of the graffiti removed or
> painted over."
>
> NFBF Secretary Sherri Brun asked about banquet and meeting facilities.
>
> Grundlespike said that the prison features several classrooms, which will
> work great for the seminars and breakout sessions. There is also a large
> chow hall, which will be suitable for all general sessions and the
> banquet. The kitchen is adequate for a group twice the size of that
> expected to attend the NFBF convention.
>
> NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to save a lot of money!"
>
> Grundlespike, who still wears a holster even though she no longer carries
> a gun, said, "We will provide all eating utensils. We have an enormous
> supply of tin cups, most with few or no dents in them." She added quickly,
> "Oh, I hope I am not being disrespectful to offer tin cups to blind
> people. I meant no offence."
>
> Kathy Davis assured her that none was taken and that the members of the
> organization would need something to drink from during the Manger's
> Reception.
>
> "Oh, that reminds me," Grundlespike added, "This prison used to be
> Sunshine County's number one industry. Since it closed, the area has had
> to live on income from our local wineries. We have some very good
> vintages. The Sunshine County Winery has agreed to donate 2,000 boxes of
> its finest whites, blushes, and reds to you for your convention."
>
> "Wow," said Dwight, "that is very generous of them. Tell me, how many
> bottles are in each box?"
>
> "Oh, there are no bottles," said Grundlespike. "The wine itself comes it
> one-liter boxes, but each comes with its own drinking straw. And, I can
> assure you it is delicious."
>
> Board member Gina Minichiello said, "There are enough cells that each
> person can have his or hew own, though most of us will want to double up.
> Many of the cells have bunk beads, so families can share. Each cell has
> its own bathroom -- well bathroom area. Each cell has its own sink
> and...uh...facilities. They are all very clean, I have been assured. At
> first I was concerned about privacy. There is space between those bars,
> you know. But there isn't enough light for anyone to see much of
> anything."
>
> Former Warden Grundlespike said, Lights out is at 10:00 PM. After that
> everybody is blind!...Oh, I didn't mean to cause offense."
>
> "None taken," Kathy said. "Are there any questions?"
>
> NFBF Board Member Sabrina Deaton said, "I am concerned that there aren't
> any nearby restaurants or bars for those who wish to travel outside the
> penitentiary grounds."
>
> Ms. Grundlespike answered, "Well, there is great food in the chow hall.
> Their oatmeal is out of this world. We have all of that free wine. The
> winery wasn't able to sell much of it after that silly recall business,
> but I assure you it is delicious. There are no nearby restaurants, it is
> true, but we have many, many bars." She laughed, uproariously.
>
> NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to save a lot of money!"
>
> Dwight Sayer said, as a fundraiser, we will be taking pictures of members
> and guests, seated in "Old Sparkly," world's only rhinestone-studded
> electric chair. He added, "Don't worry. The power is turned off and the
> chair is unplugged. I'm not making that mistake again.
>
> Board Member Sherrill O'Brien said, "We have discovered a supply of
> thousands of brand new, very stylish, orange jumpsuits. These will make
> great door prizes and we can sell some of them with boxes of wine at the
> auction."
>
> NFBF Board Member Betty McNally said, "After we get the license place
> making machinery up and running, we will be making and selling special
> Whozit license plates. This will be after we get legislative approval, of
> course."
>
> NFBF Treasurer Gloria Hicks said, "We are going to raise a lot of money!"
> She then asked about the availability of a sound system.
>
> Grundlespike answered, "The chow hall has a great PA system. When Johnny
> Cash played Lemonville, there was a bit of commotion from the more avid
> fans, and he had to depart rather quickly, leaving his sound system
> behind. We have been using it ever since. And, hey, if it's good enough
> for Johnny, it ought to be good enough for you folks."
>
> So there you have it. The exciting announcement about our upcoming
> convention.
>
> Anybody who takes this too seriously should just look at the date this
> message was sent.
>
> For the real -- non-April Fools Day -- information about our upcoming NFBF
> State Convention, go to:
>
> http://www.nfbflorida.org/upcoming/convention-2009.htm
>
> We hope to see you all there!
>
> Dan
>
> "If you are going to walk on thin ice,
> you might as well dance."
> - Inuit Proverb
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "If you are going to walk on thin ice,
> you might as well dance."
> - Inuit Proverb
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