[Nfbf-l] What are Grits

Sun Apr 28 12:30:12 UTC 2013

The first time I ever heard the word Grits was on a TV show called 
Alice,  the waitress Flo used to use the expression "Kiss my Grits" Now 
being a good Yankee, I braved he taste of that unusual cuisine when I 
arrived to Florida back in 97 a young little girl sitting on the table 
across from me laughed at my facial expression after consuming my first 
spoonful as she muttered the words "taste just like sand doesn't it 
Mister" I agreed and immediately realized that this is an acquired 
taste.

Peter Cerullo

petercerullo at aol.com

-----Original Message-----
From: Sherri <flmom2006 at gmail.com>
To: NFB of Florida Internet Mailing List <nfbf-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tue, Apr 23, 2013 11:27 pm
Subject: Re: [Nfbf-l] What are Grits

And all those lumps Yum! Not!!! Grits definitely have it over Cream of
Wheat.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mark Tardif" <markspark at roadrunner.com>
To: "NFB of Florida Internet Mailing List" <nfbf-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, April 23, 2013 8:14 PM
Subject: Re: [Nfbf-l] What are Grits

Hey, Debby.  Good to hear from you.  But I must tell you, cream of 
wheat is
better.  That gluey substance sticks to your ribs, great on a cold day.

Mark Tardif
Nuclear arms will not hold you.
-----Original Message-----
From: Debby B
Sent: Tuesday, April 23, 2013 7:11 PM
To: NFB of Florida Internet Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Nfbf-l] What are Grits

Hey, now! I LOVE grits!! Unadorned is best. Very little butter, a little
salt. YUMMY! Grits is good. Grits are good!

Debby
bwbddl at yahoo.com

~"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can
read."~Mark Twain

________________________________
From: Mark Tardif <markspark at roadrunner.com>
To: NFB of Florida Internet Mailing List <nfbf-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, April 23, 2013 7:03 PM
Subject: Re: [Nfbf-l] What are Grits

Alright, folks.  As a Yankee who has chosen to move back to the 
wonderful
north, I will respond.  Keep in mind this is all meant in fun so a big 
LOL.
First of all, I read a novel once in which the main character was 
staying
with a family in New York City during the depression.  This family was
struggling and nobody could find a job, including this character, so 
they
ate a lot of grits.  One of his responses to this went something like 
this:
"Grits is a good food but a damn tiring one."  (Taken from the novel 
Never
Love a Stranger by Herald Robbins.)  And was he ever correct.  He was 
the
first one of that group to find employment, so he must have been really
determined and really desperat to eat something better.  I say amen to 
him.
Also, grits could have been the strange manna that God provided.  
Remember,
the Israelites were out in the burning Sinai desert and actually 
complaining
that God should have left them in Egypt.  I can picture God in 
exasperation
saying "Let them eat grits," and it was okay with them because they were
desperately hungry.  Finally, when I was in Florida, I would very often 
take
the woman who used to help me with my errands out to breakfast and she 
would
often have grits.  I, on the other hand, would have a real breakfast of 
real
food, ham, eggs, toast, whatever, but real food.  So, there you have it,
from an unrepentant Northerner.  LOL.

Mark Tardif
Nuclear arms will not hold you.
-----Original Message-----
From: Alan Dicey
Sent: Tuesday, April 23, 2013 6:35 PM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: [Nfbf-l] What are Grits

What are Grits
This is really a hoot!
Nobody knows.  Many people feel that grits are made from ground up bits 
of
white corn.  This is obviously a lie.  Nothing as good as a Grits can be
made from corn.
The most recent research suggests that the mysterious Manna that God 
rained
down upon the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert was most
likely Grits.
Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of butter, salt, or 
cheese
raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by
forcing them to eat Grits without these key ingredients.

How Grits are Formed.
Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure.  It 
takes
over 1000 years to form a single Grit.  Most of the world's grit mines 
are
in Southern Georgia, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and
fierce attack dogs.  Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and 
many
Grit miners lose their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be
served morning after morning for breakfast (not that having Grits for 
lunch
and dinner is out of the question).
Yankees have attempted to create a synthetic Grits.  They call them 
Cream of
Wheat.  As far as we can tell the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are
Elmer's Glue and shredded Styrofoam.  These synthetic grits have also 
been
shown to cause nausea, and may leave you unable to have children.
Historical Grits
As we mentioned earlier, the first known mention of the Grits was by the
Ancient Israelites in the Sinai Desert.  After that, the Grits was not 
heard
from for another 1000 years. Experts feel that the Grits was used during
this time only during secret religious ceremonies, and was kept from the
public due to it's rarity.
The next mention of the Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient 
city
of Pompeii in a woman's personal diary.  The woman's name was 
Herculaneum
Jemimaneus (Aunt Jemima to her friends.)
The 10 Commandments of Grits
1.      Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
2.     Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife
3.    Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is
blasphemy
4.    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Grits
5.     Thou shalt use only Salt, Butter, and Cheese as toppings for thy
Grits
6..    Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits
7.   Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
8.  Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
9. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
10.     Thou shalt not put sugar on thy Grits either

How to Cook Grits
For one serving of Grits:
Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter.
Add 5 TBsp of Grits.
Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water.
That's all there is to cooking grits.
How to Eat Grits
Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous
portion of butter. (WARNING:  Do NOT use low-fat butter.) The butter 
should
cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow.  (Hold a banana or a
yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, you have 
the
correct amount of butter.)
Next, add salt.  (NOTICE:  The correct ration of Grit to Salt is 10 : 1
Therefore for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.)
Cheese is optional.  However if you wish to add cheese, cut it into 1/4'
squares and add immediately before you eat your Grits. You do not want 
your
cheese to melt completely.
Now begin eating your grits.
Always use a fork, never a spoon, to eat Grits.  Your grits should be 
thick
enough so they do not run through the tines of the fork.
The correct beverage to serve with Grits is Milk or Chocolate Milk.
(WARNING:  Use whole milk only - DO NOT use 2% or, heaven forbid, Skim
Milk.)
Your grits should always be eaten in a bowl.
Never use a plate to eat Grits.
Ways to Eat Leftover Grits:
(Leftover grits are extremely rare) Spread them in the bottom of a 
casserole
dish, Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight.
The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass.
Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2' of 
cooking
oil and butter until they turn a golden brown.
Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way.  This 
is,
of course, unacceptable.

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No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 2013.0.2904 / Virus Database: 3162/6266 - Release Date: 
04/22/13

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No virus found in this message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 2013.0.2904 / Virus Database: 3162/6266 - Release Date: 
04/22/13

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