[Nfbf-l] Pet Peeves of the Blind and Visually Impaired

[Alan Dicey]

Dear Friends,
Some one sent me this and I just could not resist sending it along to my 
sighted friends and posting it to some primarily Sighted List groups I am 
on.
I am sharing it with you, so perhaps you might want to share it with them 
also!
It might help a little, who knows!
With Best Regards,
God Bless,
Alan
Plantation, Florida

Pet Peeves of the Blind and Visually Impaired
1. The Guessing Game.
"Hey [insert name here]! Do you know who I am?" Oh, please don't do this. 
I've seen adults do this with students (a lot) and frankly, it's just rude. 
Don't put that person in a position to be embarrassed just in case they 
don't remember. Yes, they will recognize familiar voices, and you may know 
they recognize you, but please resist the temptation to prove it to others 
by quizzing them. Don't you think you'd feel a little stressed if you 
thought you'd be tested about people every time you went out? Be considerate 
and identify yourself!

2. Being afraid of the "S" word.
Someone can be talking to a blind or partially sighted person and say 
something like, "Let's go see what's for lunch." Then they gasp and think, 
oh no, I shouldn't have said "see"! Lighten up. Everyone uses "see" and 
"look" and "watch out!" Even the blind or visually impaired person.

3. I'm blind, not deaf.
HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?? Which goes along with one of my own pet peeves: "You 
teach blind kids? So you must know sign language?" Um, NO. I know braille. I 
wish I had a dime for every time someone asked me that - to include 
administrators during an interview. Sometimes they "get it", but sometimes 
they don't, but that's okay because I've just deducted 5 IQ points from 
them. :) And, for the record, I have taken sign language classes, but since 
I don't have any deaf-blind students, I have long forgotten it. I wonder if 
teachers of the hearing impaired get asked if they know braille...

4. Blind people can hear everything.
The flip side of #3, people assume the visually impaired have so much better 
hearing than the rest of us. No, but they do rely on it much more, so they 
are probably listening and paying attention better. Not necessarily paying 
attention to the teacher, though. They also don't have visual "distractors" 
so to speak, so they can focus more on what they hear. Unless they don't 
want to hear it, of course. They are human, after all.

5. "I don't really believe he's blind, even with that white cane.
I'm not moving from this side of the hallway." That attitude will leave you 
sprawled out on the floor when the person barrels into you. Here's a good 
rule: Don't play chicken with a blind person. You will always lose. Instead, 
get out of the way, or at least make yourself known by saying something or 
making a noise.

6. Holding out your hand to shake theirs without touching their hand.
If that person cannot see your hand, how is he/she supposed to know where 
your hand is? Answer: They will often extend their hand in anticipation, but 
if not, tell them you would like to shake their hand and then reach out and 
take their hand. Same thing goes for handing them something. You would be 
amazed how many times this happens. "Here's your homework," and then you 
hold it out in space. Or, even better, don't say anything at all and hold it 
out. Again, exactly how is he/she going to know where it is? Grope about for 
it? Sometimes groping is okay, like for finding a dropped item. But when 
handing things to the visually impaired, please touch their hand with it so 
they know where it is.
Fear factor
Pin It
Being pulled along when you can't see will definitely pump up the anxiety 
level and possibly increase scarring!

7. Low expectations.
This includes: the "pity" person (Oh, you poor blind child. You must have a 
terrible life.), the "know-it-all" (Dr. so-and-so can work miracles. I know 
because my grandmother/nephew/dog has 20-20 now.), "Mr. Helper" (Let me do 
that, I know it's too hard for you.), the "excuse-maker" (I don't want 
him/her to learn how to make a [insert food here] because they might 
cut/burn/make a mess. You can't go on that field trip because there might be 
a terrorist attack and I would worry.), the "denial/embarrassed person" 
(Don't use your cane at the store so people won't know you're blind.), and 
unfortunately, the list goes on and on. Low expectation is probably the 
worst thing one person can do to another, regardless of abilities. If you 
aim for low performance, that's likely what you'll get. Don't be an enabler. 
Being too over-protective will dramatically hinder their progress toward 
independence and living a happy, social, productive life. Step back. Allow 
them to fail, get a minor injury, and make their own mistakes. That's how we 
all learn. Don't forbid them these opportunities.

8. Would you like to feel my face?
Whoa. Do you ask sighted people if they'd like to feel your face? First of 
all, a blind person is not going to get a lot of information from feeling a 
face, other than maybe the shape of your nose. There are times when it is 
appropriate, such as when learning parts of the body. But if you are not 
immediate family, allowing a blind or partially sighted person to "feel" you 
is very inappropriate. And there are some who will attempt to do just that 
because they know many people aren't sure about that protocol. Their hand 
needs to stay in a handshake, and not move up your arm, and certainly 
nowhere else! If you wouldn't let a sighted person feel you, don't let a 
blind one. I've answered this question a lot from sighted people who have 
felt awkward allowing this to happen. Well, they feel awkward for a reason! 
It's not socially acceptable! Feeling your hair, or the lack of it, can be 
appropriate depending on the circumstances. I've also had this question from 
a parent: How will my son know what a particular girl looks like? Answer: 
His friends will tell him!!! Oh yes, they will. ;)

9. Rudeness.
It's usually just ignorance, but don't assume that any blind or visually 
impaired person automatically needs help. Grabbing the person's arm and 
pulling them along is wrong on several levels. We know you're probably just 
trying to be nice, but don't. First, always ask the person if they would 
like some assistance. Then, use the sighted guide technique correctly. Offer 
your arm and let them hold it, usually right above the elbow. Also, if there 
are several others with the person, speak directly to him/her, not through 
an "interpreter", as if the person is not there. Say his name, so he knows 
you are talking to him.

10. Pure meanness.
Placing obstacles in the blind or visually impaired person's path, throwing 
things at them, rearranging furniture, moving or taking their belongings, 
calling them names, taking them to the wrong place and leaving them. Yes, it 
is mean - and it happens all too often. There will always be Sith among us, 
but educating ourselves and our children about disabilities may help reduce 
the bias, discrimination and ignorance.
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