[Ag-eq] The BlanchRanch Bulletin

[Jewel]

The BlanchRanch Bulletin for June 2015.

At 10am, June 4th,  I was alerted to the fact that the bridge that spans the little creek that runs 
through my River

paddock was under water, and the main river, the Mataura was rising with  the sheep being on the 
wrong side of the water.
Now, this had all happened very quickly as they, the sheep, had come in for their feed the previous 
night and then, at some

time, had gone back across the bridge, so it, plainly, was not under water at that stage.
I rang "river watch" and found that all the tributaries upstream of Gore were falling, so I was not 
worried about them,

knowing from previous experience, that the river had to be 2.9 metres above normal before the sheep 
ran out of dry land to

which they could retreat, and with all the upstream tributaries falling, there was no way that the 
Mataura was going to

rise to anywhere near that.
However, as the day went on, the river continued to rise and rise and keep on rising!  where all the 
bloody water was

coming from, only the powers that be knew and the BlanchRancher wasn't being let into the secret!
Much too late in the day, I started to hunt around for farmers who might be able to bring a vehicle 
along to ferry them to

safety, but all the farmers that I knew were out looking after their own stock, and who can resent 
that, but then I was

lucky!  one of the people I had rung earlier in the day, realised that matters were looking rather 
grim for my trapped

flock, so she contacted someone who contacted someone else and a truck and a large trailerv were 
brought down and the sheep

were taken aboard, and not a moment too soon!  They had gone as far up the paddock as was possible 
and were knee deep in

water.  They were very wet, and as it had not been raining, they must have tried to get through the 
flood, and as I shear

only once a year, their fleeces were very heavy, so it was quite a  task getting them up the ramp 
into the trailer;

however, it was accomplished, and they were released into the paddock on the safe side of the 
stopbank without them having

sustained any loss of life through drowning.
In previous years, during winter, I have kept them shut in the stockyard and barn, but this year, I 
have left them out in

the paddock but they have free access to the barn where I keep hay in the racks.
I was feeding them twice a day, but then I found that they were only eating half of what I put out 
daily, so I have reduced

it to once a day.
Rambo, the lamb that I bottle-fed 2 years ago still enjoys his dates, and is, always, the first to 
come in!
It is quite a while since my last BRB, so you may not remember that I have had new sheds put up to 
replace the old ones

that were still standing, held up by goodness knows what!
The day after the builders packed up and left, I went into one of these new sheds, shutting the door 
behind me, and SHUT it

remained!  Nothing I did would open that blasted door!  Fortunately, for once, I had my cellphone 
with me so was able to

summon assistance.
If I hadn't had it, which, I usually don't, I would have been trapped in that shed from Saturday 
afternoon until Monday

morning which was when my home help paid her next visit.
Assistance did arrive but it still took a lot of ingenuity to get that door open!  [Versatile, the 
builders, had not left

me with the keys as they were not obliged to do until the council inspector had signed the job off].
It was, obvious, or it was to me, that the lock was faulty [all the other locks worked, perfectly], 
but the manager of

Versatile didn't seem to be too bothered about it; however, to be on the safe side, I left that door 
open for the

timebeing.
That time came to an end when I received this winter's hay supply, and as the bales were stacked in 
that shed, the door had

to be closed, and do I hear you ask:  why?
my guide dog, Guideon, had seen that I pulled the bales to bits, so, in his eagerness to be helpful, 
he did likewise!  Now:

 this I could have lived with but as his * help went no further than just spreading the hay all over 
the backyard, * help

it, really, was not!
I filled the bags with hay and then pulled the door shut as I left.  All went ok for a couple of 
days and then the door

locked, (fortunately, I was on the outside) but
the hay was not!
The sheds have a 5 year guarantee on them:  not much of a guarantee for my outlay of 33,000 dollars,
if you ask me!  I rang Versatile re the faulty lock!  and I was treated like a stupid old woman who
didn't know her arse from her elbow:  there was nothing wrong with the lock, it was me who didn't
know how to turn a knob!
The manager, Andrew Holden, eventually and very reluctantly said that he would come up.  I suggested
that to save him driving all the way from Invercargill, I could contact the local locksmith.  He 
wouldn't
have that!
He, duly arrived, took the lock apart and reassembled it.  It worked until the next day when it
locked again.
He said that he would not come up again, but would see if he could find someone in Gore who would
have a look at it, which was what I had suggested the previous day.
However, he contacted what must have been a friend of his, who he said would have a look at the
lock.
Graham, who Andrew had told me was a funeral director arrived.  I impressed upon him that he was
here to look at the lock, not for any other reason.
Well, to cut a long story short, Graham must have contacted Andrew and told him that the lock was
faulty, because Andrew turned up at my door the next day and fitted a new lock, which, to date, has
performed without giving any trouble.
I get so furious when men will only listen to other men, and regard women as being ignorant dopes
who are as "thick as two short planks!" [a delightfully colourful New Zealand expression meaning 
well!  "as thick as two

short planks!"  what can be clearer than that?
Yesterday, when I was crossing the yard to the hay shed, my foot contacted with, what I assumed was 
a clump of weeds, but

when I bent down to rip them from the soil, I found that it was not a clump of weeds, but a clump of 
hay made up of, not

one slab but several!   Had I been careless and left the shed door open?  no I had not!
It was my habit to leave the door open when I was stuffing hay into the bags, and Guideon wouldn't 
take the hay when I was

there:  now would  he?  Oh silly, gullible me, of course he WOULD!and why?  because he COULD!  his 
sleight of hand, or to

put it into doggy language, his sleight of paw, claw and jaw is a wonder to behold!
Some soppy dog owners, the owners being soppy, not the dogs, have persuaded themselves, and, if they 
can, others that smart

dogs don't have any of the less attractive attributes of their human companions:  less attractive 
atributes like taking

advantage of that companion!  "Pull the other one, it's got bells on it!"
I am, i think, quite fond of the rotten sneaky sod, but he knows damned well that I can't see what 
he is up to and,

provided he is quick and quiet, he can get away with murder!
Now, passing on to matters meteorological.
As I may have mentioned at the beginning of this bulletin, the month started with what was, really, 
a very moderate flood, and since then, the river has been up and down like a yoyo, but despite that, 
we have had, relatively, little rain, no major frosts and, generally, a fabulous winter.
when one compares the
weather that we, in Southland, are having against the dreadful weather further north and more so in
the North Island, it is, nigh on, perfect.  A comment that I often find myself repeating is:
"Southland!  New Zealand's best kept secret, and long may it remain so!"
As I said, The North Island has been experiencing very heavy rain.  Whanganui and surrounding areas
have been
badly hit with many families having to be evacuated from flooded houses and properties.
I have devised a new seasonal almanac for the BlanchRanch.
As you know, the solstices and equinoces fall on:
winter solstice for the southern hemisphere/summer for the northern:  June 21;
vernal/fall equinox:  September 21;
summer/winter  solstice:  December 21;
autumn/vernal equinox:  March 21.
Before I drew up the revised BR almanac, I started the season on the date of its solstice/equinox:
thus the first day of winter was the winter solstice June 21, and so on, while the met office
started them on the 1st of that month.
The new almanac has the opening day of the season falling exactly midway between the preceding and
the following astronomical event, so now, on the BlanchRanch (to hell with what Hughie,  the weather
god says)  winter begins May 6, spring:  August 6th,  summer:  November 6, and autumn:  March  6th.

Well folks!  That's it I guess!