[Ag-eq] The BlanchRanch Bulletin

[nfoster at extremezone.com]

Jewel, as always your bulletin was a great read.

Nella
Quoting Jewel via Ag-eq <ag-eq at nfbnet.org>:

> The BlanchRanch Bulletin for June 2015.
>
> At 10am, June 4th,  I was alerted to the fact that the bridge that spans the
> little creek that runs
> through my River
>
> paddock was under water, and the main river, the Mataura was rising with  the
> sheep being on the
> wrong side of the water.
> Now, this had all happened very quickly as they, the sheep, had come in for
> their feed the previous
> night and then, at some
>
> time, had gone back across the bridge, so it, plainly, was not under water at
> that stage.
> I rang "river watch" and found that all the tributaries upstream of Gore were
> falling, so I was not
> worried about them,
>
> knowing from previous experience, that the river had to be 2.9 metres above
> normal before the sheep
> ran out of dry land to
>
> which they could retreat, and with all the upstream tributaries falling,
> there was no way that the
> Mataura was going to
>
> rise to anywhere near that.
> However, as the day went on, the river continued to rise and rise and keep on
> rising!  where all the
> bloody water was
>
> coming from, only the powers that be knew and the BlanchRancher wasn't being
> let into the secret!
> Much too late in the day, I started to hunt around for farmers who might be
> able to bring a vehicle
> along to ferry them to
>
> safety, but all the farmers that I knew were out looking after their own
> stock, and who can resent
> that, but then I was
>
> lucky!  one of the people I had rung earlier in the day, realised that
> matters were looking rather
> grim for my trapped
>
> flock, so she contacted someone who contacted someone else and a truck and a
> large trailerv were
> brought down and the sheep
>
> were taken aboard, and not a moment too soon!  They had gone as far up the
> paddock as was possible
> and were knee deep in
>
> water.  They were very wet, and as it had not been raining, they must have
> tried to get through the
> flood, and as I shear
>
> only once a year, their fleeces were very heavy, so it was quite a  task
> getting them up the ramp
> into the trailer;
>
> however, it was accomplished, and they were released into the paddock on the
> safe side of the
> stopbank without them having
>
> sustained any loss of life through drowning.
> In previous years, during winter, I have kept them shut in the stockyard and
> barn, but this year, I
> have left them out in
>
> the paddock but they have free access to the barn where I keep hay in the
> racks.
> I was feeding them twice a day, but then I found that they were only eating
> half of what I put out
> daily, so I have reduced
>
> it to once a day.
> Rambo, the lamb that I bottle-fed 2 years ago still enjoys his dates, and is,
> always, the first to
> come in!
> It is quite a while since my last BRB, so you may not remember that I have
> had new sheds put up to
> replace the old ones
>
> that were still standing, held up by goodness knows what!
> The day after the builders packed up and left, I went into one of these new
> sheds, shutting the door
> behind me, and SHUT it
>
> remained!  Nothing I did would open that blasted door!  Fortunately, for
> once, I had my cellphone
> with me so was able to
>
> summon assistance.
> If I hadn't had it, which, I usually don't, I would have been trapped in that
> shed from Saturday
> afternoon until Monday
>
> morning which was when my home help paid her next visit.
> Assistance did arrive but it still took a lot of ingenuity to get that door
> open!  [Versatile, the
> builders, had not left
>
> me with the keys as they were not obliged to do until the council inspector
> had signed the job off].
> It was, obvious, or it was to me, that the lock was faulty [all the other
> locks worked, perfectly],
> but the manager of
>
> Versatile didn't seem to be too bothered about it; however, to be on the safe
> side, I left that door
> open for the
>
> timebeing.
> That time came to an end when I received this winter's hay supply, and as the
> bales were stacked in
> that shed, the door had
>
> to be closed, and do I hear you ask:  why?
> my guide dog, Guideon, had seen that I pulled the bales to bits, so, in his
> eagerness to be helpful,
> he did likewise!  Now:
>
>  this I could have lived with but as his * help went no further than just
> spreading the hay all over
> the backyard, * help
>
> it, really, was not!
> I filled the bags with hay and then pulled the door shut as I left.  All went
> ok for a couple of
> days and then the door
>
> locked, (fortunately, I was on the outside) but
> the hay was not!
> The sheds have a 5 year guarantee on them:  not much of a guarantee for my
> outlay of 33,000 dollars,
> if you ask me!  I rang Versatile re the faulty lock!  and I was treated like
> a stupid old woman who
> didn't know her arse from her elbow:  there was nothing wrong with the lock,
> it was me who didn't
> know how to turn a knob!
> The manager, Andrew Holden, eventually and very reluctantly said that he
> would come up.  I suggested
> that to save him driving all the way from Invercargill, I could contact the
> local locksmith.  He
> wouldn't
> have that!
> He, duly arrived, took the lock apart and reassembled it.  It worked until
> the next day when it
> locked again.
> He said that he would not come up again, but would see if he could find
> someone in Gore who would
> have a look at it, which was what I had suggested the previous day.
> However, he contacted what must have been a friend of his, who he said would
> have a look at the
> lock.
> Graham, who Andrew had told me was a funeral director arrived.  I impressed
> upon him that he was
> here to look at the lock, not for any other reason.
> Well, to cut a long story short, Graham must have contacted Andrew and told
> him that the lock was
> faulty, because Andrew turned up at my door the next day and fitted a new
> lock, which, to date, has
> performed without giving any trouble.
> I get so furious when men will only listen to other men, and regard women as
> being ignorant dopes
> who are as "thick as two short planks!" [a delightfully colourful New Zealand
> expression meaning
> well!  "as thick as two
>
> short planks!"  what can be clearer than that?
> Yesterday, when I was crossing the yard to the hay shed, my foot contacted
> with, what I assumed was
> a clump of weeds, but
>
> when I bent down to rip them from the soil, I found that it was not a clump
> of weeds, but a clump of
> hay made up of, not
>
> one slab but several!   Had I been careless and left the shed door open?  no
> I had not!
> It was my habit to leave the door open when I was stuffing hay into the bags,
> and Guideon wouldn't
> take the hay when I was
>
> there:  now would  he?  Oh silly, gullible me, of course he WOULD!and why?
> because he COULD!  his
> sleight of hand, or to
>
> put it into doggy language, his sleight of paw, claw and jaw is a wonder to
> behold!
> Some soppy dog owners, the owners being soppy, not the dogs, have persuaded
> themselves, and, if they
> can, others that smart
>
> dogs don't have any of the less attractive attributes of their human
> companions:  less attractive
> atributes like taking
>
> advantage of that companion!  "Pull the other one, it's got bells on it!"
> I am, i think, quite fond of the rotten sneaky sod, but he knows damned well
> that I can't see what
> he is up to and,
>
> provided he is quick and quiet, he can get away with murder!
> Now, passing on to matters meteorological.
> As I may have mentioned at the beginning of this bulletin, the month started
> with what was, really,
> a very moderate flood, and since then, the river has been up and down like a
> yoyo, but despite that,
> we have had, relatively, little rain, no major frosts and, generally, a
> fabulous winter.
> when one compares the
> weather that we, in Southland, are having against the dreadful weather
> further north and more so in
> the North Island, it is, nigh on, perfect.  A comment that I often find
> myself repeating is:
> "Southland!  New Zealand's best kept secret, and long may it remain so!"
> As I said, The North Island has been experiencing very heavy rain.  Whanganui
> and surrounding areas
> have been
> badly hit with many families having to be evacuated from flooded houses and
> properties.
> I have devised a new seasonal almanac for the BlanchRanch.
> As you know, the solstices and equinoces fall on:
> winter solstice for the southern hemisphere/summer for the northern:  June
> 21;
> vernal/fall equinox:  September 21;
> summer/winter  solstice:  December 21;
> autumn/vernal equinox:  March 21.
> Before I drew up the revised BR almanac, I started the season on the date of
> its solstice/equinox:
> thus the first day of winter was the winter solstice June 21, and so on,
> while the met office
> started them on the 1st of that month.
> The new almanac has the opening day of the season falling exactly midway
> between the preceding and
> the following astronomical event, so now, on the BlanchRanch (to hell with
> what Hughie,  the weather
> god says)  winter begins May 6, spring:  August 6th,  summer:  November 6,
> and autumn:  March  6th.
>
> Well folks!  That's it I guess!
>
>
>
>
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