[blindkid] Parents with some questions

Ramona L. Burgess Moni at monimarketplace.com
Tue Dec 2 21:54:27 UTC 2008


My blind son will be 4 in 18 days and he isn't potty trained either, nor
does he really recongnize when he is wet.  I would leave the potty training
until later when he can better communicate with you.  

 

I would advise that you find him an excellent OT therapist as soon as
possible to help you find ways to address his physio/motor needs.  Having
been in an orphanage and neglected, he will have major needs in this area.  

 

Because of his physical neglect he probably doesn't understand what you are
doing when you hold and rock him.  Don't stop trying to do that.  Do it
little by little adding to the time everyday until he becomes comfortable
with your touch.  Bedtime is always a challenge.  My son sometimes gets
wound up after going to bed, because it is the first complete quiet time he
gets all day.  I was told that it can be a relief to have some quiet from
all the stimulation.  We allow Allan to get out of bed and play in his room
at night, but we will go in and remind him it is time to sleep if it goes on
too long.  We play a music quietly all night, so that it cues him that it is
sleeping time.  Anytime that music plays he knows he should be sleeping. 

 

As far as the self-stimulation, that should be reduced gradually as he
starts responding to you.  I mean that it is his way of working with the
world and until he learns other ways it will only frustrate and confuse him
if you try to eliminate too much too soon.  My son still mouths, but it is
going down.  He rocks sometimes too and we are working on that.  Our biggest
stim is that he likes to tap everything on his front teeth, Oi! We've had
our son since we adopted him at birth.you are starting with a five-year-old
who has been neglected so you will have to pretend that he is much younger
and deal with him accordingly.  This was our first child too so I can
appreciate the problems inherent in the situation.  Y'all are gonna get
there.  

 

If you don't already, get the books on tapes from the library for him to
listen to.  Even if you don't think he is attending, he is getting some
language from it.  I did that with Allan from about 9-Months.  Toys are a
learned behaviour which he doesn't have.  Find a simple baby's rattle that
is soft that he can shake and mouth.  Place it in his hand and shake it to
show him what it does.  With tactile defensive children, which your little
guy will probably be after all this, you may have to tell him that he is
going to hold it for the count of three.  You really need OT and the
brushing program to help with this.  

 

There is so much to address, but don't panic and take it day to day.try
treating him as if he was an infant and knows nothing, because that may very
well be the case.  

 

God bless you and your family,    

Allan's Mom

Ramona

 

Hello everyone,

> I am posting this to both the blind parents list and the parents of 

> blind children list, so I apologize for the cross-post.

> 

> I am blind.  My wife and I just returned from India with our adopted 

> son.  He is 5 years old and was born without eyes.  Unfortunately, he 

> was abandoned and lived in an orphanage for at least 3 years, maybe 

> more.  So, we are looking at some fairly significant delays.  For 

> example, he is currently not speaking at all.  He will mimic language, 

> which is a good start though.  He is also still in diapers.  He will 

> not indicate when he is wet.

>  In observing and interacting with him over the past 5-6 days, I do 

> have some questions.  This is our first child, so some of these 

> questions may be obvious to experienced parents:

> 

> 1.  self-stimulation:  He is in motion almost constantly.  If he is 

> standing up, he rocks side to side and back and forth.  If he is 

> sitting down, he also rocks almost constantly.  Due to the lack of 

> attention he received in the orphanage, he needs to rock himself to sleep
at night.

> Does anyone have any ideas to help him overcome this?

> 

> 2.  somewhat frantic or manic behavior at nap or bed times:  He has 

> quite a bit of trouble getting to sleep during nap time or at bed time.

> He will attempt to fall asleep, and then begin laughing, rocking very 

> vigerously and sometimes mouthing various objects.  This is all of the 

> same self stimulation, but he seems to get much more agitated at sleep 

> time.  The sad part is, due to neglect in the orphanage, he doesn't 

> seem to respond at all to one of us holding him, or trying to comfort 

> him.  I am honestly not sure how to handle this.  I don't want to just 

> leave him in his room.  He will get up out of bed and start walking 

> around.  Do I pick him up and put him back in his bed, or just let him 

> work it out on his own.

> 

> 

> 3.  playing:  He does not seem to have much of a concept of toys.  He 

> had one toy that he liked at the orphanage, which was a baby rattle.  

> We have lots of toys here for him, but I am not sure how to introduce 

> the concept of playing to him.  Most of the time, he seems content to 

> sit down and rock.  If you give him something to play with, he will 

> most often throw it down.

> 

> 4.  School:   I am not sure how to handle getting him into school.  As I

> mentioned earlier, he is 5, but acts more like a 1-2 year old.  I know 

> he could benefit from the services in the public schools such as 

> ocupational therapy and speech/language therapy.  I'm not sure weather 

> to try and start some of that now, or wait until the fall.  I am not a 

> huge fan of home schooling.

> 

> 

> 

> I know I will have more questions, but thats it for now.  Any help 

> would be greatly apreciated.  We're feeling a bit like a fish out of 

> water at this point.

 




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