[blindkid] Parents with some questions

landjwest at bellsouth.net landjwest at bellsouth.net
Wed Dec 3 00:14:31 UTC 2008


Congratulations! I know you are so excited and I am sure overwhelmed for now but things will get better especially with such awesome advice as this lady has shared.
I have a question for you. We adopted our child from the states. How did you go about adopting your son from India and were you looking for a special needs child? You may not want to answer this queston and that is ok if you don't but do you have to pay a fee when you take on such a challenge?I met a lady here who is looking for a special needs child from another country and they want a ton of money from them and they will not receive any help financially from here when they do adopt. Is htat correct?  I would love to hear any info on your process that you might be willing to share.
God Bless,
Laura
-------------- Original message from "Ramona L. Burgess" <Moni at monimarketplace.com>: -------------- 


> My blind son will be 4 in 18 days and he isn't potty trained either, nor 
> does he really recongnize when he is wet. I would leave the potty training 
> until later when he can better communicate with you. 
> 
> 
> 
> I would advise that you find him an excellent OT therapist as soon as 
> possible to help you find ways to address his physio/motor needs. Having 
> been in an orphanage and neglected, he will have major needs in this area. 
> 
> 
> 
> Because of his physical neglect he probably doesn't understand what you are 
> doing when you hold and rock him. Don't stop trying to do that. Do it 
> little by little adding to the time everyday until he becomes comfortable 
> with your touch. Bedtime is always a challenge. My son sometimes gets 
> wound up after going to bed, because it is the first complete quiet time he 
> gets all day. I was told that it can be a relief to have some quiet from 
> all the stimulation. We allow Allan to get out of bed and play in his room 
> at night, but we will go in and remind him it is time to sleep if it goes on 
> too long. We play a music quietly all night, so that it cues him that it is 
> sleeping time. Anytime that music plays he knows he should be sleeping. 
> 
> 
> 
> As far as the self-stimulation, that should be reduced gradually as he 
> starts responding to you. I mean that it is his way of working with the 
> world and until he learns other ways it will only frustrate and confuse him 
> if you try to eliminate too much too soon. My son still mouths, but it is 
> going down. He rocks sometimes too and we are working on that. Our biggest 
> stim is that he likes to tap everything on his front teeth, Oi! We've had 
> our son since we adopted him at birth.you are starting with a five-year-old 
> who has been neglected so you will have to pretend that he is much younger 
> and deal with him accordingly. This was our first child too so I can 
> appreciate the problems inherent in the situation. Y'all are gonna get 
> there. 
> 
> 
> 
> If you don't already, get the books on tapes from the library for him to 
> listen to. Even if you don't think he is attending, he is getting some 
> language from it. I did that with Allan from about 9-Months. Toys are a 
> learned behaviour which he doesn't have. Find a simple baby's rattle that 
> is soft that he can shake and mouth. Place it in his hand and shake it to 
> show him what it does. With tactile defensive children, which your little 
> guy will probably be after all this, you may have to tell him that he is 
> going to hold it for the count of three. You really need OT and the 
> brushing program to help with this. 
> 
> 
> 
> There is so much to address, but don't panic and take it day to day.try 
> treating him as if he was an infant and knows nothing, because that may very 
> well be the case. 
> 
> 
> 
> God bless you and your family, 
> 
> Allan's Mom 
> 
> Ramona 
> 
> 
> 
> Hello everyone, 
> 
> > I am posting this to both the blind parents list and the parents of 
> 
> > blind children list, so I apologize for the cross-post. 
> 
> > 
> 
> > I am blind. My wife and I just returned from India with our adopted 
> 
> > son. He is 5 years old and was born without eyes. Unfortunately, he 
> 
> > was abandoned and lived in an orphanage for at least 3 years, maybe 
> 
> > more. So, we are looking at some fairly significant delays. For 
> 
> > example, he is currently not speaking at all. He will mimic language, 
> 
> > which is a good start though. He is also still in diapers. He will 
> 
> > not indicate when he is wet. 
> 
> > In observing and interacting with him over the past 5-6 days, I do 
> 
> > have some questions. This is our first child, so some of these 
> 
> > questions may be obvious to experienced parents: 
> 
> > 
> 
> > 1. self-stimulation: He is in motion almost constantly. If he is 
> 
> > standing up, he rocks side to side and back and forth. If he is 
> 
> > sitting down, he also rocks almost constantly. Due to the lack of 
> 
> > attention he received in the orphanage, he needs to rock himself to sleep 
> at night. 
> 
> > Does anyone have any ideas to help him overcome this? 
> 
> > 
> 
> > 2. somewhat frantic or manic behavior at nap or bed times: He has 
> 
> > quite a bit of trouble getting to sleep during nap time or at bed time. 
> 
> > He will attempt to fall asleep, and then begin laughing, rocking very 
> 
> > vigerously and sometimes mouthing various objects. This is all of the 
> 
> > same self stimulation, but he seems to get much more agitated at sleep 
> 
> > time. The sad part is, due to neglect in the orphanage, he doesn't 
> 
> > seem to respond at all to one of us holding him, or trying to comfort 
> 
> > him. I am honestly not sure how to handle this. I don't want to just 
> 
> > leave him in his room. He will get up out of bed and start walking 
> 
> > around. Do I pick him up and put him back in his bed, or just let him 
> 
> > work it out on his own. 
> 
> > 
> 
> > 
> 
> > 3. playing: He does not seem to have much of a concept of toys. He 
> 
> > had one toy that he liked at the orphanage, which was a baby rattle. 
> 
> > We have lots of toys here for him, but I am not sure how to introduce 
> 
> > the concept of playing to him. Most of the time, he seems content to 
> 
> > sit down and rock. If you give him something to play with, he will 
> 
> > most often throw it down. 
> 
> > 
> 
> > 4. School: I am not sure how to handle getting him into school. As I 
> 
> > mentioned earlier, he is 5, but acts more like a 1-2 year old. I know 
> 
> > he could benefit from the services in the public schools such as 
> 
> > ocupational therapy and speech/language therapy. I'm not sure weather 
> 
> > to try and start some of that now, or wait until the fall. I am not a 
> 
> > huge fan of home schooling. 
> 
> > 
> 
> > 
> 
> > 
> 
> > I know I will have more questions, but thats it for now. Any help 
> 
> > would be greatly apreciated. We're feeling a bit like a fish out of 
> 
> > water at this point. 
> 
> 
> 
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