[blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

Wed Nov 19 02:30:37 UTC 2008

Hi, all,

As someone blind from birth, I'd like to share a few thoughts on this very 
complex topic.  We know that blindness is not a tragedy, that blind people 
can do just about anything, and that blindness brings many special gifts and 
opportunities.  All of this is wonderfully true.  And, all that being said 
and understood, I think we need to be able to acknowledge sometimes that 
there may be occasional frustrations and disappointments related to being 
blind.  I think it's important to allow kids to talk about, even cry about, 
the hard parts when they need to, and not to convey in any way that such 
feelings are threatening or forbidden.  One could say the same for any sort 
of difference - being short or very tall or thin or fat or what have you - 
part of self-acceptance is accepting that life isn't perfect and sometimes 
things hurt, but that pain, however bad it is in the moment, isn't going to 
undo us.

Debbie

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Carrie Gilmer" <carrie.gilmer at gmail.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)'" 
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 1:15 PM
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

I am going to write something here...and Kala especially since you are new
and do not know me I want to EMPHATICALLY state this is not directed
personally at you...what you wrote just reminded me of something and made me
think.

I worked at Buddy camp in some way for 10 years. It is a camp where
everyone, campers and counselors are blind. Every year the biggest challenge
for many was that they were no longer "special" because they were
blind-EVERYONE was blind. They had to struggle to find what was special
about THEM. This I always witnessed was the best and hardest thing for many
of the children...above the skills, everything.

Also I heard a blind woman from birth give a speech once how she was raised
to believe she was really special, really smart, really uniquely great. Her
Braille reading was special. Then she got to college and found out how
normal she was. It was quite a shock. Her reading was normal, that was about
it. It was really quite a shock to her.

Also we have to be careful with totally blind kids to separate out true just
plain curiosity in trying to understand and figure out what sight even is
and is capable of verses true sadness at or doubts about blindness. It is
important not to mix those things up-they are two totally different things.

Carrie Gilmer, President
National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
NFB National Center: 410-659-9314
Home Phone: 763-784-8590
carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
www.nfb.org/nopbc
-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Mindy Lipsey
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 11:37 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

I would definately suggest having other friends and role models who are
blind, so she doesn't ever feel "alone".
I also remind my boys that everyone has "something" - basically something
they have to "deal with".
I also tell them that God made us all the way we are for a reason.
Sometimes we don't know what that reason is yet, but we will eventually find
out.
Hope this helps.

Mindy

--- On Tue, 11/18/08, Amy Ruell <aruell at nbp.org> wrote:

From: Amy Ruell <aruell at nbp.org>
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....
To: "'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)'"
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Date: Tuesday, November 18, 2008, 12:12 PM

Hello Stephanie,
I'm sure that those words were very hard to hear!!! Do you know why
she's
struggling with this right now? Maybe if you knew more, you could help her
solve the undrlying problem that is causing her to wish she could see.
Thanks.
Amy

-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Kieszak, Stephanie (CDC/CCEHIP/NCEH)
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 11:45 AM
To: blindkid at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

My 6 year old daughter has recently started talking a lot about being blind
and about her "acrylic" eyes, as she refers to her prosthetics. The
other
night, she said to me "Mommy, can you get me something so I can see with
my
eyes instead of with my hands?"  I felt like someone had plunged a knife
into my heart!  For you parents of older kids, was there anything you ever
said or did that helped when your child seemed to be feeling sad or angry
about being blind?  I tried reminding her of all the other blind people we
know who also don't see things with their eyes but that didn't seem to
help.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Stephanie

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