[blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

Thu Nov 20 00:03:47 UTC 2008

Carrie.
Thank you for the encouragement.
It helps me to share my experiences with others.
This way hopefully some parents and children won't have to experience many of
the things that I experienced.
You will certainly be invited to my classroom.
It was grate to meet you as well.
As for that teacher, a couple of years ago, she had a family friend ask me to
write a letter of achievement for her.  She was trying to win some kind of
award.  Since I was her only blind student.  She figured that a letter from me
would help her win this award.
Well, it may have been mean or a sign of me not to forgive or to turn the other
cheek.  I flatly refused to write the letter.  I didn't feel that I should do
anything to enhance her view of herself as a good teacher.
Many people have asked about my mom's feeling on this experience.  Mom was very
angry.  She was angry with both the teacher and me, me because I was scared to
tell her for a while.  The teacher because of the trauma that she had subjected
me to in front of everyone.  You see my mom was brought up to believe that a
teacher has authority, and is usually right. But having a blind child taught her
a lot about teachers and how they abuse their authority.

So, I think that both my mom and I have and are still learning.
Best regards,
Sincerely,
Melissa R. Green
Hold on to your dream and it shall be well with you.

-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Carrie Gilmer
Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 7:36 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)'
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

Dear Melissa,
It makes me shudder, and still, when I find people teaching who have no
business in the classroom. I am so glad you are going to be a teacher, there
will be one more who definitely belongs in the classroom and is partnering
with parents to bring children in to reach their full potential. I hope
teaching is healing for you in some way too.
I really enjoyed meeting you in Colorado last week. I hope I can visit your
classroom someday and observe you teaching. I thank you for you candidness.

Carrie Gilmer, President
National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
NFB National Center: 410-659-9314
Home Phone: 763-784-8590
carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
www.nfb.org/nopbc
-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of melissa R. Green
Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 12:38 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)'
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

I always knew that I was different.  But I didn't quite know how different I
was.
Until at summer camp.  I was playing hide and seek.  This little boy found
me
and called me a little dark chocolate girl.
I realized what that meant.  But I was angry at this little boy because of
the
way he said it.
I also remember being punished in my first-grade classroom because I went
home
and asked my mom about my blindness.
Some kids had been teasing me because of my blindness.  They said that I was
blind because my mom wor too thick of a bifocal while she was pregnant with
me.
So, I went home and asked my mom.
The teacher had called my mom that night and she told her that I questioned
her.
The next morning the teacher was mad.
She said that the kids said that they were sorry and that I shouldn't have
asked
my mom.  I tried to explain, and she told me to shut up.  But I was taught
to
finish my thought.
She proceeded to call me to the front of the room and spank me.  She said
during
this that I needed to learn how to shut up.
There was another teacher in the room and all she said was that I was no
different than anyone else I had to get it just like everyone else.

This teacher turned out to be my second grade teacher the next year, and
made a
point to show me that I wasn't different.  The ways in which she made these
points weren't good at all.  They made the opposite point.
Even then I did wonder if I could see if that would have happened to me.
Yes, it would be nice to see.  But then I think about all of the things that
I
would have to learn, if I could see.
It would be nice to be able to pick what I wanted to see.
Best regards,
Sincerely,
Melissa R. Green
Hold on to your dream and it shall be well with you.

-----Original Message-----
From: blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindkid-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf
Of Pat Chadwick
Sent: Tuesday, November 18, 2008 1:58 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)'
Subject: Re: [blindkid] When your child realizes she's different....

This is true. My 16-year-old says that she would like to be able to see but
her blindness isn't something that she is depressed or sad about and she
isn't obsessed with being able to see. She just thinks it would be easier
plus she would be less different (she also has the difference of being a
transracial adoptee).

Pat

...

Also we have to be careful with totally blind kids to separate out true just
plain curiosity in trying to understand and figure out what sight even is
and is capable of verses true sadness at or doubts about blindness. It is
important not to mix those things up-they are two totally different things.

Carrie Gilmer, President

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