[blindkid] Seeking advice: blind daughter intentionally excluded from birthday party

[landjwest at bellsouth.net]

Hi,
First let me say I am so sorry and i feel your pain. You are not over reacting and we as mom's feel alot of our childrens pain even when they don't. I have mixed feelings about this. I think the other mom who is protesting is awesome,pat her on the back. But I think her words would do better if she went to the other childs mom and asked her straight up why your child was not invited. Maybe the other mom really doesn't have a clue what blind children can and can not do. My blind daughter surprises me every day with the things she can do. at that point if that mom gives a reason that is bias or judgmental then I think your friend could stand up and say "My child will not be attending either then." 
I had a blow to me a couple of weeks ago. I am white and my daughter who is adopted is black (and horribly scard from having been burnt in a tub of hot water, visit www.mymaleka.com to read and see her story) Well she has this sweet little friend who is white and he loves her with all his heart. he use to call her on the weekends. Well the other day she told me she couldn't be friends with him any more because he can't be friends with black girls. I asked her who told him that and she said his mom. Talk about racism. two little kids who are blind and don't even know color and have to be taught who to like and not like due to color. She then asked me if her brother (my biological child,white) was black too. So it opened up  whole discussion I would have never dreamed of having with her. i explained to her that God loves all people and does not see color and we shouldn't see color either. As far as his mom, I decided to let it go. I am a Christian Speaker and I speak about the lessons I have learned through my daughters eyes and not judging people based on color, race, economic status or by size are a few lessons she has taught us and just pray and hope she is somewhere when I speak and feels convicted when I share that part of my story.
If I confronted every person that has let me down or offended me about my daughter I would stay bitter and mad all the time. i figure just show them unconditonal love and let God convict them. I however, would buy that child a gift and send it to school. Although she handed out invites at end of day kids know when other kids have bdays and parties. Let your friend stand up for you and you kill the other mom with kindness. You might end up being best of friends one day.
God Bless,
Laura
www.mymaleka.com

-------------- Original message from Grace Sato <gracets at covad.net>: -------------- 


> Because I'm sure parents on this list have lived this, I'm going to ask. 
> I've been trying to forget about this, but you know how things nag at 
> you and you can't let go? 
> 
> Here goes: 
> 
> I found out over the weekend that my daughter's first grade class was 
> invited to the birthday party of a classmate (Logan). 
> Apparently Logan's parents took invitations for all the kids and the 
> class and distributed them as school ended on Friday. 
> 
> I knew none of this until I spent Sunday with one of the boys in my 
> daughter's class (Chance), and his mom, as we visited a cool Children's 
> Discovery Museum together and she asked in the car if my daughter would 
> be attending the party on November 1st. 
> 
> The party will be held at "Pump It Up", an inflatables party place 
> (think large inflatable slides, bouncy castle, mazes, etc). 
> My daughter loves this place and attended two birthday parties there 
> before when in preschool and kindergarten. 
> 
> Because this little boy (Chance) is my daughter's best friend in school, 
> the one we spend the most time with, his mom decided to ask Logan's dad 
> directly if Milagro, "Chance's best friend in class", had been invited. 
> She told me he looked at her funny and said, "No." 
> 
> She asked if everyone else in the class had been invited and he said 
> yes. So, Chance's mom and I are concluding that Milagro has been 
> excluded, probably because the family thinks a blind child doesn't 
> belong in a bouncy inflatables place. 
> 
> Now, I don't know this boy Logan and his parents don't know me, so I 
> mostly don't care. I doubt Milagro knows she's been excluded because she 
> was in SDC at the end of the school day. But.....now Chance's mom is 
> going to boycott the party (not take Chance) in protest of Milagro being 
> excluded. Sweet gesture, but that's what's causing me grief. 
> 
> I feel (almost) obligated to do something, but not sure what? Would you 
> please share your wisdom with me on this? Part of me wants to crash the 
> party to show her classmates that she's as adventurous and strong as 
> they are (and more so in most cases). The rest of me says, "save your 
> energy". 
> 
> What do you think? What have you done in these situations when your 
> child has been excluded socially due to someone else's ignorance? Should 
> I just do nothing and beg Chance's mom to just take him and tell her I 
> appreciate the gesture? 
> 
> Such drama.....I know. And it's only first grade! Thanks! 
> 
> Grace in California 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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