[blindkid] recess and social interaction

Tue Jun 1 12:43:29 UTC 2010

Agreed on the observation factor.  As her parent it is your right to come 
and observe, and I think that might give you some ensights that would prove 
helpful to your daughter and her teacher.  Mike, I know we have disagreed on 
things in the past, but I can't tell you enough how much I agree with the 
whole "I figured that if they didn't want to play with me, it was their 
loss." thing.  It is so true.  Blind children, assuming no mental 
retardation, are generally accademically advanced and often, because of 
solving problems, they are more mature, and therefore, in those ways, a 
treasure for their peers to interact with.  Having the assertive, but not 
agressive, self confident, but not stuck up attitude of "I am worth 
something, and if others don't see it, that is their problem, not mine." is 
so crutial for their maintaining their self esteme long enough for their 
peers to catch up.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)" 
<blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, May 31, 2010 5:18 PM
Subject: Re: [blindkid] recess and social interaction


> Joy:
>
> You haven't told us what may perhaps be the most important datum: what do 
> the other kids *do* at recess? Is there a playground? If yes, what kind of 
> equipment is on it? If no and the kids play games outside, what sorts of 
> games? Are they all sight-oriented? If so, how might Ahbee suggest that 
> they be modified so that she could participate?
>
> You will note how I phrased the last question. Although one can't be sure 
> from a single message, your message below gives me the impression that 
> Ahbee (or you; it's not clear wich) sort of expect that others will see to 
> it that Ahbee is included. No criticism is meant by this observation. 
> Certainly, there may need to be intervention to encourage integrated play. 
> But in the last analysis (and though this may be hard to read), it will be 
> up to Ahbee to engineer things so she's included -- not just now but for 
> the rest of her life. It has been my experience that passivity and success 
> as a blind person don't go together fairly well. This is obviously hard 
> for a child who is naturally not assertive or who feels different and left 
> out. But no one ever said this world was an easy place. The payoff is that 
> Ahbee may have some skills her erstwhile playmates may not have.
>
> Oh yes -- have you personally observed recess? Teachers and/or school 
> personnel may not like it but, frankly, if they're good, they won't mind 
> and even if they are not, remember who is paying their salaries!
>
> I'm sure Carol Castellano can give you the citation to a Future 
> Reflections or Braille Monitor article by Fred Schroeder that detailed 
> some of his experiences when supervising the program of special education 
> for Albuquerque public schools. I think you'd find this article 
> instructive and inspiring. It's the one where he describes how the 
> elementary school kids were playing tag and a blind kid always ended up 
> being "it" because he didn't know where to dodge to get out of the way. He 
> asked Fred how to solve the problem. Fred wasn't sure and thought it might 
> be one of those situations where blindness truly was an inconvenience. The 
> next day, however, Fred came in to discover that the kid had brought a jar 
> with pebbles in it and made the rule that the person who was "it" had to 
> carry the jar which made noise. Problem solved -- not by the teacher but 
> by the kid.
>
> Might Ahbee not benefit from such thinking, that is, might both you and 
> Ahbee not benefit from considering blindness as a series of problems to 
> solve rather than as a burden?
>
> As I say, please do not consider the foregoing as being critical. It's 
> often kind of tough integrating into social activities when it seems to be 
> the goal of everyone to be *exactlhy* like everyone else. I was lucky in 
> that I never *cared* whether I was like everyone else and if kids didn't 
> play with me, I figured it was *their* loss! (grin)
>
> For all I know, all the kids are playing video games rather than doing 
> something constructive. That puts Ahbee in a difficult spot. But she can 
> always read and end up with the highest score in her class and be the one 
> other kids come to when they want help figuring out how to ace the next 
> exam!
>
> None of this may be relevant; it's been fifty years since I was a kid. But 
> surely things haven't changed all that much. If nothing else, this, too, 
> shall pass; then you'll have to start worrying about whom Ahbee goes out 
> with. (har)
>
> Hope this helps and please keep us posted.
>
> Warmly,
>
> Mike Freeman, member
> Board of Directors
> National Federation of the Blind
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Joy Orton" <ortonsmom at gmail.com>
> To: "NFB Blindkid list" <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, May 31, 2010 12:51 PM
> Subject: [blindkid] recess and social interaction
>
>
>> Dear Friends, (sorry, this is pretty long)
>>
>> Please help us with your ideas and experiences. Our daughter Ahbee is in
>> third grade (for one more week), and is having trouble with recess. She
>> often does not have anyone to play with or spend her recess with. She 
>> just
>> walks around by herself for most of the time. Sometimes one  or more
>> children will come to her and invite her to join them in what they are
>> doing, but not always. She has sometimes asked her classmates in advance 
>> of
>> recess to play with her. One girl said yes, but then did not play with 
>> her
>> and said, "I couldn't find you."
>>
>> During recent conversations she has said this has been going on for two
>> years, or specifically, "Since Jacey moved."
>> Jacey is a girl from China who was adopted at age 5 by a family who lived
>> near us. Ahbee (who was adopted at age 4 from China)  and Jacey spent
>> kindergarten (half of one year and all of the repeated year) and first 
>> grade
>> together, but then Jacey's family moved to another school district. They 
>> had
>> in common that they had been adopted from China as young children, not
>> infants, and that they repeated that kindergarten class. They were very 
>> good
>> friends.
>>
>> Last year, in second grade, Ahbee was "not playing with anyone" at 
>> recess,
>> and I learned about it from another mom whose child was apparently having
>> some similar issues. We got the two together for one or two play dates. I
>> also spoke with the classroom teacher and TVI about it, and I thought 
>> they
>> were watching for problems.
>>
>> This year, I asked early in the school year, and I thought things were 
>> going
>> better. We had some problems with gym class as well, and those have been
>> addressed by assigning children to be Ahbee's helpers during gym. The
>> helpers rotate or take turns. But apparently there is still a big issue 
>> with
>> recess, and it is starting to cause enough pain that Ahbee is bringing it
>> up.
>>
>> So, I have a couple of concerns or questions.
>> First, how can Ahbee find people to play with at recess, and how can we
>> facilitate that?
>> Second, how can I make sure that the teachers are observing and letting 
>> me
>> know how she is doing? I don't want this problem to continue for another
>> year!
>>
>> Looking forward to your responses.
>> Joy Orton
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>
>
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