[blindkid] Daughter's pre-k graduation

[Doreen Franklin]

Carol
I see where you are going ... unfortunately right now, Torrie is not being heard when she self-advocates!!!! I am hoping that in her next school, her teacher will be more aware. It is very discouraging when Torrie indicates she can't see or needs a different color as she can't see yellow on white, or light green on light green, and NO ONE listens to her. Not only are you fatiguing her eyes, but her self-esteem is clearly being eroded! Who is going to build up that self-esteem??? This has happened and been addressed at our March-APril IEP's but again, it reared its head with her TVI on Friday over the font size she is going to use next year in kindergarten (TVI is indicating 24-26 font -- LARGE print!). Torrie was clearly frustrated and several times Friday night, she talked about it and banged on the table to show what she did with the TVI. SHe is frustrated and no one at school is looking at it or hearing it at school! It is all brought home!

We will keep fighting the good fight though. And it is thru FOPBC and NFB that we are getting the encouragement and support we need! 
 Doreen
http://www.raceforindependence.org/goto/TorrieF 




________________________________
From: Carol Castellano <blindchildren at verizon.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List, (for parents of blind children)" <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sat, June 5, 2010 1:27:10 PM
Subject: Re: [blindkid] Daughter's pre-k graduation

Doreen,

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, having just read your letter about Torrie and Kim's message about her daughter.  These moments are so meaningful for us, perhaps even more meaningful than those same moments with our sighted children.  So many of us have had to work very hard to help our children develop and to fight the system so that our kids get an equal shake.

I hope that the sting of this day subsides quickly.  This experience will become your ammunition for doing things differently next time.  I think we can just about guarantee that people--even those who know our kids and have worked with them--will sell them short on activities like this and will not share our utter PASSION for our kids participating and participating equally and fully.  I'm afraid that the onus will lie on us--and eventually on our kids when they learn to self advocate--to insist on equal participation and then to teach exactly what that means.

So though it probably does not feel that way now, this will become a crucial and incredibly valuable learning experience for you.  Unfortunately, we cannot take it for granted that others will do the job right.  I am sure it is difficult to view it in a positive light now--as in, better to find this out in preschool than in high school.  So, now you know.  For other school events, religious rites, scouts, graduations, assume that you'll need to get in there early and teach.  As Torrie grows older, include her in the planning--what do we need to tell these guys so that you can participate just like everyone else?  In this way, you'll be teaching her what to expect and how to advocate for herself.  Things then won't be depressing or sad because she'll be informed and empowered.  Then the day will come when she will be able to anticipate problem areas and do the teaching herself in advance.

Again, I hope the sadness dissipates quickly.  Go on to the positive--a valuable lesson learned nice and early that you and Torrie will use well throughout her life.

Fondly,
Carol

Carol Castellano, President
National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
973-377-0976
carol_castellano at verizon.net
www.nopbc.org

At 02:15 PM 6/4/2010, you wrote:
> I wanted to share  a letter that was hand-delivered to our school superintendent today about our daughter's pre-k graduation ceremony. As you can tell from the letter, it was bittersweet. Doreen        I am writing about my daughter who is visually impaired and in the pre-K program at Eagles Nest. Her graduation ceremony was today and I am writing to tell you how upset my family was with the treatment of our daughter, Victorria.   The ceremony started with Victorria being led by Mrs Rowe using sighted guide (I can’t say it was correct, but that is not the point). Torrie was set down on the floor to watch the photo review of the year with the rest of her class. Torrie has low vision and she was not able to see or "recognize" the pictures of herself and her friends. I sat and I cried, not because of joy, but because she could not see the pictures. All of the other children were shouting out "that's me" and they even shouted
 "Torrie," but because Torrie could not see, Torrie could not participate in the festivity that her other friends were enjoying. It was heart breaking as I sat there and continued to watch Torrie not be able to participate like her sighted peers. It made me even sadder, and I continued to cry. I wanted to bring her over to me and go through the pictures verbally with her, but I knew she needed to stay where she is. (I have asked Mrs Rowe for a copy of the CD so that Torrie can watch the show at home). Â  As the ceremony continued, the children were moved to the stage. Again, Torrie was led by Mrs Rowe to her seat. I looked at Torrie and her cane was no where to be found. I was in shock! In our eyes, it said to us that she "couldn't be herself." During the program, Torrie was then led to a place on the stage to hold a sign while all of the other children were able to walk toward the audience in different parts of the program. We sat there and were so
 disappointed that our daughter's disability was not recognized, that she was made to "look like all of the other children" yet she was not doing the same activity (walking toward the audience) like her sighted peers. I was livid at this point because Torrie could not be herself, but had to “look like the other sighted childrenâ€�.  My family was upset and disappointed that Torrie had to be made to be like one of the other kids in the program. Her disability and her cane seemed to be something to be ashamed of. That is not what we are instilling in Torrie. She is to be proud of who she is!   This past weekend, I was at a state convention for people who are blind and visually impaired and everyone used their cane or guide dog. No one was ashamed of having a visual disability. These adults had to navigate a new environment to all of them ­ they had to find their wayy from the hotel check-in, to their rooms, to the restaurant, to the main
 seminar room and other seminar rooms. Several of these people were also speakers who had to navigate to the front of the room for their speeches. None of these adults were embarrassed  by their canes or guide dogs; instead they navigated around the hotel with confidence and independence. Why isn’t this outlook of independence being supported by the school? I don’t even have the words to describe my feelings about the independence and assurance these people had last weekend, and how my daughter was not allowed to use her cane which makes her independent and safe! What a stark contrast! There are no words for this!   The diplomas were then given out by Mr Lynch and the children were to shake hands with Mrs Rowe, Mr Lynch and Mrs Serynak. Torrie did not have her cane and she walked across the stage, without her cane. When I saw that, I gasped for my daughter's safety as well as the fact that she did not have her cane to use, which is a
 vital part of her. Torrie's cane is as much a part of her as her glasses are, just like our glasses are a part of us (we all wear glasses). After the ceremony, Torrie was led off the stage by Mrs Rowe. All of the other children were able to go to their parents and had pictures taken with family and on stage. Torrie looked toward us, but Torrie had Mrs Rowe’s hand. When she looked toward us, I was not sure what to do - get her or let her go to her class as were the directions. Instead, all the parents got their children and took pictures, and Torrie had Mrs Rowe's hand and was being led out of the auditorium. My family and I were very disappointed, especially after seeing other families taking pictures. I have no pictures of Torrie alone on stage with her diploma. I have Torrie and her class instead of individual pictures of our graduate. Instead of this being a very happy day, it was heart breaking, depressing and very disconcerting.   Torrie
 is finally getting orientation and mobility instruction for use in cane. In our last IEP meeting, it was decided that she would not use the cane in her class but she would use it any other time outside of her class. Torrie should have used her cane while in the auditorium instead of the fact that it was being covered up. I don't think it would have mattered to the other parents if Torrie had used her cane (they all know she uses a cane) and it was set on the floor by her. She could have used her cane to move around, just like her sighted peers. Instead, her disability was concealed. Do you know the message being sent to Torrie? That message is that you cannot be you - you need to "hide" your disability and hide your cane. What a sad commentary for our pre-K children! How are we to build her self-esteem with the use of her cane at this point? Â  I have been trying to be upbeat about the whole ceremony with my daughter, but it has been quite hard to
 hide my feelings. Torrie told me that "she didn't need her cane on the stage" which is not a 5-yr old's decision. The use of a cane is a decision made by her parents, and it was then reaffirmed by the IEP Team after an IEE on orientation & mobility clearly showed the reasons for the use of the cane. How can we instill that the cane is necessary with her visual disability when the school isn't even on-board for the use of her cane? Â  Â  Doreen http://www.raceforindependence.org/goto/TorrieF _______________________________________________ blindkid mailing list blindkid at nfbnet.org http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for blindkid: http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/blindchildren%40verizon.net 


_______________________________________________
blindkid mailing list
blindkid at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for blindkid:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/doreenproverbs3%40bellsouth.net