[blindkid] never stands still

Richard Holloway rholloway at gopbc.org
Fri Jun 11 23:53:04 UTC 2010


Marie, Yes-- you have understood my intentions very clearly. No matter  
how well a child can function and adapt in society academically for  
example, if he or she can't fit in socially there are likely to be  
great challenges.

We also spend a good deal of effort reminding Kendra to do things like  
face people when she speaks with them, face the table at meals, and  
things like that. At least for our family, we feel it is important for  
her to learn these habits from early on, partly for social reasons,  
but it isn't only that. My hearing isn't what I think anyone would  
call "impaired", but it is not as good as it used to be. I look at  
mouths when people talk, especially when it is noisy.

If Kendra is facing sideways or has her face to the ground, I often  
have trouble understanding her when she speaks. I understand her much  
better when she faces me.

Richard

On Jun 11, 2010, at 7:10 AM, Marie wrote:

> Thank you Brandy for your adult perspective and the reminder to  
> think 10 years ahead! I try to always think that way but it is easy  
> to get lost in the immediate.
>
> I don't think Richard and I were advocating allowing a child to be  
> rude. Our responses were directed at meeting the need just as you  
> would with a sighted child with sensory issues. Meet the need for  
> the extra sensory input at times when the child is NOT in a wiggle  
> free situation so that the child is able to be centered and wiggle  
> free when they need to.
>
> All the swinging, bouncing, rocking (in a rocker) etc that Jack does  
> is done in a developmentally appropriate way during playtime/freetime.
>
> Just wanted to clarify. You can meet the need without allowing your  
> child to be rude or out of control. In fact, meeting the need can  
> help your child be more in control.
>
> Marie (mother of Jack born May 2005)
> See glimpses of life with my determined son who is developing in his  
> own way at his own time at http://allaccesspasstojack.blogspot.com
> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "Brandy W" <branlw at sbcglobal.net>
> Date: Thu, 10 Jun 2010 20:04:32
> To: NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,\(for parents of blind children\)<blindkid at nfbnet.org 
> >
> Subject: Re: [blindkid] never stands still
>
> Hi, OK as an adult I still wriggle and move all over the place. The
> important skill to be learned is when and where it is OK to be  
> moving. To
> have the will power or self monitor  to stand still when you are  
> speaking to
> someone for example. I am very pro giving the child opportunities for
> movement, but by 7 or 8 and honestly younger the child needs to be  
> taught
> that not everyone starts spinning while having a conversation. I bit  
> of
> restlessness is one thing, but constant moving is another. I had and  
> in some
> cases still have some small habits that no one dealt with as a  
> child, and
> boy do I wish they had. For being still what seems to have worked is  
> someone
> firmly putting their hand on my shoulder and just applying pressure  
> for
> about 10 seconds. It gets my attention with out drawing attention to  
> me, and
> helps me come back to focus. If I notice I've needed too much  
> support I
> usually excuse myself and take a quick walk to get it out. It is  
> great that
> she has the place to jump, but soon it won't be appropriate to say  
> "Excuse
> me I need to go bounce now." Always think 10 years down the road. Do  
> I want
> my child to need this in 10 years? if the answer is no start  
> thinking of
> alternatives. For now the jumping is great, but in just a few short  
> years
> she will be a preteen and running, weight lifting, swimming as you  
> already
> do are more typical outlets. For those of you with very young  
> children third
> grade or younger try a spin bored if you can't get your hands on a
> trampoline. The suggestions here have been wonderful, but we always  
> need to
> be thinking ahead. For example I was never much of a rocker, but  
> when I
> became sick and was in bed a lot, (Not my normal busy activity.) I  
> began
> rocking. We recognized I had started this out of the blue and  
> tolerated it
> semi when I was very sick. Now if I'm sick and need motion I try to  
> rock in
> a rocking chair like a normal adult. Now these are suggestions on  
> how to
> help the need, but the the question was how to stop the behavior.  
> Well If
> your sighted child jumped or spun out of control or all the time you  
> would
> firmly tell the child enough and insist they stop, and if the didn't  
> your
> consequence method for your house would kick in. Same for blind  
> child. Just
> as you don't allow your blind child to hit, be rude etc. you don't  
> allow
> them to do socially inappropriate things. It feels harsh to say and  
> to read,
> but it is a behavior that needs to go and there for in a loving but  
> firm
> manner the child needs to be taught it won't be tolerated. Please  
> take my
> word for it, as I speak from experience. Not finding out that people  
> think
> it is strange for you to wriggle every where till you are an adult  
> is scary
> and upsetting and one feels betrayed. excusing a child's rude behavior
> didn't stop the rudeness so excusing a child's strange behavior  
> won't stop
> it. It is unexceptable and needs to be dealt s such. So how do you  
> stop it?
> You stop it like you would any other behavior you don't want, and when
> appropriate you find the child an outlet for the need like the  
> jumping,
> spinning on a spin bored, rocking in a chair, squeezing silly puddy  
> etc.
>
> It is wonderful to read all you parents of young children asking now  
> and not
> when they are 12.
>
> Bran
>
> "Families that play together learn together!"
> Brandy Wojcik
> Discovery Toys Educational Leader
> Check out our new spring line perfect for spring time learning and  
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> www.playtoachieve.com
> (512) 689-5045
>
> Discovery Toys wants to be a part of your family's learning success  
> and here
> are a few ways we can help:
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> * Purchase or get free gift baskets for children of all ages
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Richard Holloway" <rholloway at gopbc.org>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Kid Mailing List,(for parents of blind children)"
> <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, June 10, 2010 5:46 PM
> Subject: Re: [blindkid] never stands still
>
>
>> Our 7-year-old still does that occasionally and has done it since  
>> she  was
>> probably 2. I used to try to tell her to stop but we had far  better
>> results long term when we redirected her to something else.  Then  
>> once we
>> started offering her more and more movement alternatives  the problem
>> decreased greatly. If she's spinning a lot at home now,  we'll  
>> usually ask
>> if she needs to go and jump. Generally, she'll stop  spinning with  
>> the
>> question and walk straight to her trampoline.
>>
>> Richard
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Jun 10, 2010, at 6:26 PM, L wrote:
>>
>>> My daughter does the same thing, she is 3.  SHe will spin in  
>>> circles  and
>>> makes me dizzy.  We have just told her, stop spinning, most of   
>>> the time
>>> she does.  But even while spinning she is holding her  favorite  
>>> sensory
>>> toy, so I am not sure what to do either!  Thanks  for the question.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ________________________________
>>> From: Marie <empwrn at bellsouth.net>
>>> To: Blindkid email <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thu, June 10, 2010 12:42:54 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [blindkid] never stands still
>>>
>>> I'm no expert on this but I'm wondering if she is filling a  
>>> sensory  need
>>> by this constant motion. Does she stop moving when you are   
>>> talking with
>>> her or she is otherwise engaged? Perhaps providing her  with other  
>>> ways
>>> to gain sensory input would help.
>>>
>>> Marie (mother of Jack born May 2005)
>>> See glimpses of life with my determined son who is developing in  
>>> his  own
>>> way at his own time at http://allaccesspasstojack.blogspot.com
>>> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Kathy B <burgawicki at yahoo.com>
>>> Date: Thu, 10 Jun 2010 04:18:43
>>> To: <BVI-Parents at yahoogroups.com>; <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
>>> Subject: [blindkid] never stands still
>>>
>>> Hi All-
>>>
>>> My daughter (4), totally blind, has a real hard time holding  
>>> still.   She
>>> is constantly in motion by fidgeting, wiggling, bouncing, etc.   She
>>> doesn't do a whole lot of rocking but she does need motion.  How   
>>> do I
>>> get her to stop.
>>>
>>> Please help!
>>>
>>> Oh, the swimming lessons are going great!
>>>
>>> Thanks,
>>>
>>> Kathy
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>
>>
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