[blindkid] Learning how to play?

[Carol Castellano]

Hi Julie,

My blind child was almost 3 when my sighted child was born and I did 
have to work a bit to get them to play together.   My older one, a 
girl, wanted nothing to do with this annoying little guy who made 
noise, sat in her mommy's lap, knocked over her things, reached into 
her bowl, climbed up her leg, and practically turned himself inside 
out trying to get her attention.  It would have broken my heart if 
they grew up without a good relationship, so I was determined to work on it.

One thing I did with my blind child was whenever we passed a park or 
playground, I pointed out the sounds of children laughing and playing 
and said things like "Oh, listen to the sound of the happy 
children.  They're playing and having fun, just like we do when we go 
to the park."  I was trying to have her associate the sounds of 
children with happy thoughts and activities she enjoyed.

The other thing that entailed my blind child was teaching her how to 
pretend play, as others have mentioned.  The first time it happened, 
she went to sit down on the floor but accidentally sat down on me.  I 
laughed and said, "what do you think I am...a sofa?"  She thought 
that was hysterical and so we played sitting down on the pretend sofa 
for several happy minutes.  That was the first time I saw her pretend 
something.  We then went on to using a cardboard box to pretend to 
take a bath and using a Little People playschool set to pretend going 
to school.

Regarding the two playing together, I found I had to be present in 
the beginning.  I used to read them many stories about animal 
families and the first game we played together was the dog family, 
with the mommy dog and the two puppies.  This was the first time she 
tolerated actual playing with her little brother.  The fun of the 
game trumped her disinterest in him--I think she finally found him 
useful for something!

We went on to acting out stories, such as Jack & the Beanstalk.  I 
also banged out some notes on the piano that they moved/danced/jumped 
around to and made up some high note/low note games where they had to 
stand up or sit down as i played them.

Hope some of these ideas will be helpful to your family.  Engaging 
the kids in something they both find fun, where they can see the 
value of each other as a team member, can help create a better relationship.

I would use extreme caution about making your younger child a helper 
to the older one.  This could cause both children to internalize the 
idea that blind people always need help and this will not help your 
older one reach independence.  Find out the techniques that blind 
people use to perform tasks and teach them to your blind child.  If 
she needs assistance along the way, it is probably better to provide 
it yourself in a teaching way, rather than having your younger one 
provide it.  There will be times that your younger one assists your 
older one; but make sure there are an equal number of times that the 
older one assists the younger.  Hopefully, your children will then 
grow up to view themselves as competent and confident and to view 
each other as equals.

Best wishes,
Carol

Carol Castellano
President, Parents of Blind Children-NJ
Director of Programs
National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
973-377-0976
carol_castellano at verizon.net
www.blindchildren.org
www.nopbc.org

At 12:33 PM 8/28/2012, you wrote:
>I have 2 daughters. My 5 yr old is blind, my 3 yr old is not. We 
>have had a lot of aggressive behavior from our 3 yr old towards our 
>5 yr old. Althou the reasons for the aggression seem to be 
>multifaceted, but one that makes sense to us is that our 5 yr old 
>wont play with her. We have not pushed this because I understood why 
>my 5 yr old would not want to play with someone who hits bites, 
>pulls her hair, etc. I am trying very hard to facilitate play 
>between them, which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. Lastnight 
>my 5 yr old said, I don't know how to play with her. This is true, 
>she doesn't know how to socialize with children very well. It is 
>something we have been working on and is in her IEP. Do any of you 
>have any experience, suggestions, recommendations for anything? We 
>are open to just about Anything at this point. We realize both our 
>girls have ha ing trouble because of this issue, and it's very sad, 
>and frustrating.
>Thank you for any response!
>Julie
>
>Sent from my iPad
>_______________________________________________
>blindkid mailing list
>blindkid at nfbnet.org
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindkid_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
>for blindkid:
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindkid_nfbnet.org/carol.joyce.castellano%40gmail.com