[blindkid] Bullying the blind

[Arielle Silverman]

Julie and all,
I am deeply sorry your kids are experiencing bullying. It's really an
awful thing and happens to lots of kids, not just blind ones. I think
telling your kids that bullying is a common thing might help them feel
less alone.
I was never physically bullied fortunately, but I was teased and
harassed a lot. Ages 10-14 seemed to be the worst and it got much
better in high school. My parents always told me to just be quiet and
ignore the bullies because if they didn't get a reaction from me they
would get bored and stop. At first I itched to stand up for myself and
get back at them so I ignored that advice and would engage in lots of
arguments with my tormentors, which usually ended up escalating but
changing neither person's mind. Eventually when I started high school
I was so tired of the whole thing that I decided to try just being
quiet and ignoring the bullies. I'd say within a week of doing that,
almost all my issues had disappeared, so it really is good advice. Of
course, any persistent teasing, harassment, threats or violence should
also be reported promptly and consistently to an authority figure
(teacher, school counselor, or principal depending on the severity and
frequency of the offenses). Nowadays, due to recent events, these
kinds of things are taken much more seriously than they were in the
past. When I was in the fourth grade (in 1995) a troubled boy in my
class literally threatened to shoot me a couple times. I told my
parents and the teacher but nothing was done. Actually he ended up
getting expelled due to a bunch of other stuff he had done that year,
so perhaps there was nothing else that could be done to reprimand him
for his threats, but if someone said something like that now the
consequences would have been much swifter.
In my experience there's another problem that goes along with
bullying, but can be a lot more insidious, and that is exclusion and
rejection. Some kids will avoid bullying a blind kid for fear of
getting in extra trouble, but will instead bully them passively by
leaving them out of activities. Others don't have bad intentions but
just don't know how to play with a blind child or think a blind child
can't do much. This problem does not have an easy solution but it is
something to watch out for. As I have written in the past, I think
making your kids as independent as possible makes them more likely to
be included (and probably less likely to be bullied). Also encouraging
them to take a leadership role in social situations (like organizing
sleepovers) may help, as well as helping them find social activities
that are more structured and/or that center around their particular
strengths or interests. Finally, there really is no substitute for
friendships with blind peers especially when it comes to acceptance
and normalcy.
Arielle

On 4/9/13, jim at riversedgehomes.com <jim at riversedgehomes.com> wrote:
> My daughter, Lauren, informed me of an incident months after its
> occurrence. She was being hassled daily on the bus by another fourth
> grader. He would harass her regularly by stopping her in the aisle and
> asking her "How many fingers am I holding up??"
>
> After weeks of embarrassment, one day when he asked her that same
> question, she held up her middle finger and asked him, "How many fingers
> am I holding up??"
>
> He never bothered her again.
>
>> Hi listers,
>> As we all know, ppl can be mean at times. My daughter is 11 and currently
>> I'm having to deal more and more with kids at school being bullies. Its
>> even gotten to point of being physically bullied. I'm now fighting with
>> the
>> school district to do something drastic. I'm livid. There have been 3
>> separate incidents in less then 2 weeks now.
>> As a parent in itself, and a mother to a blind child, I need help with
>> how
>> I should ease her through all this. I don't want scare her or give her
>> false hope that this will end. I know someone will always have something
>> to
>> say about her. Have any of you all have had to have the "bully" talk?
>> What
>> are some "do and don't" say things?
>>
>> Thank you all.
>> Julie
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>
>
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