[blindkid] amazing blind people

[Rosina Solano]

Okay, I have read many of these posts and have not chimed in, yet.  I wanted to wait until I could get to my computer as this will be a lengthy post, and I am sorry in advance for that.  I may not be spot on, probably not, but this is my opinion.
 
My boys also hate the over done praise routine, however, they accept it calmly in most situations due to being respectful to adults and strangers, unless it is absurdly way out there.  Now with their peers it is a different story.  They always have some sort of come back if their peers say anything.  It is never the same, but considering they are talking to peers, it seems to work.  If a kid says something about wow, that was great, they have been known to say, yeah and I'm so glad you learned how to bathe.  Not appropriate with adults, but other kids, well, seems to work for them.  
 
Now when it is an adult they always want to discuss later at home why that person seemed to think it was amazing that they could do ________.  I always try to think of all reasons including ignorance.  Not because they are stupid or incapable of doing something, but because they don't "think" they could do something that way.  Sort of like how I am amazed at how people build things.  While I could take all the shop classes in the world, I just don't "get" building things, so even simple things amaze me like that.
 
So how do we work with that?  Well I do believe that we try to educate people about the misconceptions about being blind.  However, that being said, we will never reach everyone.  For two reasons.  Simple numbers, and also, some will just never "get" it.  They can't see, (pun intended) past how awful they think it would be to not see to do things.  
 
Another thing that I think we don't realize the pity that is mainly the force behind these sentiments is a natural human concept.  When you see any child suffering, or people in trouble say due to a horrific hurricane, you want to reach out to them.  Now I realize that in those situations these people might need help, while our blind children aren't asking for the pity or help.  Well, that is why it is human nature, it doesn't have to be asked for to be there.  In nature, say a cat has three kittens, and one has a malformed leg.  The mother cat doesn't treat that kitten any different than the others.  Sometimes it gets less to eat, but others it gets stronger.  Throw in a human to the mix and naturally that is the kitten that our hearts go out to.  We naturally want to help it and to make sure it is OKAY.  we make sure that it gets to eat first, or gets seconds, extra love and cuddling.  But then if that kitten is thrown back to the world, it
 is totally unprepared to survive.  So okay this is not in relation to our blind kids.  but I just want to point out that the idea is sort of the same.  Many times people can't see past help that is needed and help that is not helpful, and this isn't just with our blind kids.  
 
So we educate when we can, but other than that we have to try to talk with our kids.
 
When my kids feel like they are tired of doing something because of the excess praise, I try to remind them that they should do it because it is a talent of theirs, not because of the praise or lack of it.  For example, my son is gifted with music, well playing it anyway.  I have always had a sense of humor raising them and have never faltered from pointing out their weaknesses.  So when he either gets a bloated self worth or the extra praise, I am sure to quietly point out that he should keep playing because it is a true gift for him, but remind him that while he can play music, he should leave the singing to others, cause that is definitely NOT his gift.  While I wouldn't knock any child down I know mine and it is a balance.  Just like I can't build things, but I'm great at creating things craft wise.  
 
I remind my kids that while it is nice what others think, ultimately it is themselves that they have to live with everyday.  
 
I know that this wasn't a solution, but sometimes we need to know why before we can know what to do.
 
Rosina


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Rosina Foster
www.tadpoleacres.webs.com
MOPOBC Missouri Parents of Blind Children