[blindkid] Skipping lines and other "free" accommodations

[Arielle Silverman]

Hi all,

This is a great discussion. I think it's very important to weigh the
pros and cons of any accommodation before seeking or accepting it, and
to discuss such decisions with blind kids so they can have
age-appropriate involvement in decisions that affect them or are about
them.
It is tempting to just accept any special treatment offered and it is
easy for us to come up with reasons why it is justified. We can say
that it is OK for a blind child to skip a line or for a family with a
blind child to get a free parking pass because blind kids need more
life experiences to really learn about what is around them and these
perks let them have more of those experiences over less time or at
less cost. We can say that by accepting something free it's just
paying back the extra cost or inconvenience of dealing with advocacy
headaches etc. Or we can say that special accommodations ultimately
promote independence. All those arguments are logically valid but I
think many of them depend on negative assumptions about blindness in
order to really be true. While we can make those arguments and defend
them, we have to remember that any special accommodation comes with
both benefits and costs. That cost-benefit balance will differ from
family to family and from day to day. But really, nothing we get is
"free" in a true sense.
Sometimes the cost is to our self-respect. We may get to skip waiting
in line and ride more rides in a day, but in the process we're
presenting ourselves as being more disabled than we are. If someone is
blind with no other disabilities, they can physically stand in line
and there are techniques for following a line and staying together
with other people. A child who hasn't learned those techniques yet can
use sighted guide with a parent and still wait in the line with
minimal inconvenience to others. A blind child should hold their cane
vertically and close to them while standing still to avoid having it
kicked away from them. By skipping the line, the family is signaling
that the child isn't capable of standing in the line. Sometimes it's
worth that cost if there's a legitimate reason to pass the line, like
a health condition that makes standing difficult or painful. But in
other cases the benefit is small compared to the self-respect cost.
I  remember a particular family trip to Disney World when I was 11
years old and my parents got a disability card so we could skip all
the lines, because of me. I tried to protest and I remember my dad
telling me (with a hint of aggravation in his voice) that this was a
decision the parents had  made and I didn't have a say in it. I
remember walking around to the exits of all the rides and feeling like
I had a flashing scarlet H for "handicapped" on my forehead which
everyone could see. (I didn't know about the Scarlet Letter yet, so
didn't literally think that, but you  get the idea). It took me many
years and a psychology degree to understand why I reacted so strongly,
but I think it was because when we skipped the lines I started to see
myself differently, as less able. Even worse was that I had no control
over what was happening. Of course not all blind kids will feel this
way, but it's a cumulative process and lots of special treatment over
many years can start to convey a negative message about blindness and
about one's respectability. I also know now that there was no reason
why we couldn't wait in line except that my parents didn't want to.
Another cost of accommodations is dependency. Sometimes we don't know
what accommodations we truly need until we stop using them. This isn't
as relevant to line-skipping, but if a blind student is constantly
getting half homework, extended time, etc. and that accommodation
eventually stops being available for any reason, they are likely to
struggle. I have seen this happen with university students who think
that they cannot get accessible class materials at all without full
support from disability services because that's all they've ever done,
and  if the disability services office fails them for any reason they
drop out altogether because they don't realize they can still succeed
without it. There is something to be said for only accepting essential
accommodations in order to avoid being dependent on unnecessary ones.
To give another example, I used to think I couldn't navigate the
airport at all by myself without assistance, until I tried it once
when I was bored and had a long layover. If I hadn't tried it out, I
might still be getting to the airport far earlier than I needed to so
I could wait for someone to assist me.
As a rule, I don't take accommodations that would give me an advantage
over sighted people. I don't cut lines, pre-board airplanes, request a
handicapped parking sticker or accept blindness-related tax
deductions. I've broken these rules occasionally when I had something
else going on besides blindness, such as a foot injury, but that is my
general protocol and I have been quite happy with it. If I do need an
accommodation, such as getting something in an accessible format, I
try to make things as easy as possible on the person I'm asking to
accommodate me. Now that I am on the job market, I can honestly tell
employers that my blindness isn't a hindrance to my job performance
and that they will not need to do much to accommodate me, which is a
quite liberating thing to be able to say.

Best,
Arielle