[blindkid] Skipping lines and other "free" accommodations

Cynthia Davis cdfiets at gmail.com
Fri Oct 11 00:01:03 UTC 2013


Beautifully said , Arielle. Thank you
Cynthia , mom of Jack
Sent from my iPhone

> On Oct 10, 2013, at 5:41 PM, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Hi all,
> 
> This is a great discussion. I think it's very important to weigh the
> pros and cons of any accommodation before seeking or accepting it, and
> to discuss such decisions with blind kids so they can have
> age-appropriate involvement in decisions that affect them or are about
> them.
> It is tempting to just accept any special treatment offered and it is
> easy for us to come up with reasons why it is justified. We can say
> that it is OK for a blind child to skip a line or for a family with a
> blind child to get a free parking pass because blind kids need more
> life experiences to really learn about what is around them and these
> perks let them have more of those experiences over less time or at
> less cost. We can say that by accepting something free it's just
> paying back the extra cost or inconvenience of dealing with advocacy
> headaches etc. Or we can say that special accommodations ultimately
> promote independence. All those arguments are logically valid but I
> think many of them depend on negative assumptions about blindness in
> order to really be true. While we can make those arguments and defend
> them, we have to remember that any special accommodation comes with
> both benefits and costs. That cost-benefit balance will differ from
> family to family and from day to day. But really, nothing we get is
> "free" in a true sense.
> Sometimes the cost is to our self-respect. We may get to skip waiting
> in line and ride more rides in a day, but in the process we're
> presenting ourselves as being more disabled than we are. If someone is
> blind with no other disabilities, they can physically stand in line
> and there are techniques for following a line and staying together
> with other people. A child who hasn't learned those techniques yet can
> use sighted guide with a parent and still wait in the line with
> minimal inconvenience to others. A blind child should hold their cane
> vertically and close to them while standing still to avoid having it
> kicked away from them. By skipping the line, the family is signaling
> that the child isn't capable of standing in the line. Sometimes it's
> worth that cost if there's a legitimate reason to pass the line, like
> a health condition that makes standing difficult or painful. But in
> other cases the benefit is small compared to the self-respect cost.
> I  remember a particular family trip to Disney World when I was 11
> years old and my parents got a disability card so we could skip all
> the lines, because of me. I tried to protest and I remember my dad
> telling me (with a hint of aggravation in his voice) that this was a
> decision the parents had  made and I didn't have a say in it. I
> remember walking around to the exits of all the rides and feeling like
> I had a flashing scarlet H for "handicapped" on my forehead which
> everyone could see. (I didn't know about the Scarlet Letter yet, so
> didn't literally think that, but you  get the idea). It took me many
> years and a psychology degree to understand why I reacted so strongly,
> but I think it was because when we skipped the lines I started to see
> myself differently, as less able. Even worse was that I had no control
> over what was happening. Of course not all blind kids will feel this
> way, but it's a cumulative process and lots of special treatment over
> many years can start to convey a negative message about blindness and
> about one's respectability. I also know now that there was no reason
> why we couldn't wait in line except that my parents didn't want to.
> Another cost of accommodations is dependency. Sometimes we don't know
> what accommodations we truly need until we stop using them. This isn't
> as relevant to line-skipping, but if a blind student is constantly
> getting half homework, extended time, etc. and that accommodation
> eventually stops being available for any reason, they are likely to
> struggle. I have seen this happen with university students who think
> that they cannot get accessible class materials at all without full
> support from disability services because that's all they've ever done,
> and  if the disability services office fails them for any reason they
> drop out altogether because they don't realize they can still succeed
> without it. There is something to be said for only accepting essential
> accommodations in order to avoid being dependent on unnecessary ones.
> To give another example, I used to think I couldn't navigate the
> airport at all by myself without assistance, until I tried it once
> when I was bored and had a long layover. If I hadn't tried it out, I
> might still be getting to the airport far earlier than I needed to so
> I could wait for someone to assist me.
> As a rule, I don't take accommodations that would give me an advantage
> over sighted people. I don't cut lines, pre-board airplanes, request a
> handicapped parking sticker or accept blindness-related tax
> deductions. I've broken these rules occasionally when I had something
> else going on besides blindness, such as a foot injury, but that is my
> general protocol and I have been quite happy with it. If I do need an
> accommodation, such as getting something in an accessible format, I
> try to make things as easy as possible on the person I'm asking to
> accommodate me. Now that I am on the job market, I can honestly tell
> employers that my blindness isn't a hindrance to my job performance
> and that they will not need to do much to accommodate me, which is a
> quite liberating thing to be able to say.
> 
> Best,
> Arielle
> 
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