[blindkid] Skipping lines and other "free" accommodations

[pburmahln at yahoo.com]

Just to bring some humor to this all - we went to Knotts Berry Farm over the Summer. We did not cut any lines with our legally blind 4 year old, and that meant waiting for nearly an hour at a time in the sweltering CA heat. Of course his older brother wanted to ride the roller coasters so our 4 year old not only had to wait in line, but he had to eject with Mom when it was time to ride because he was too short! 

We have also been to Disneyland many times and he has waited with everyone else. It's not a true Disney experience until you have waited ages, and he surely experienced that!

Sent from my iPad

On Oct 10, 2013, at 5:01 PM, Cynthia Davis <cdfiets at gmail.com> wrote:

> Beautifully said , Arielle. Thank you
> Cynthia , mom of Jack
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>> On Oct 10, 2013, at 5:41 PM, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>> 
>> Hi all,
>> 
>> This is a great discussion. I think it's very important to weigh the
>> pros and cons of any accommodation before seeking or accepting it, and
>> to discuss such decisions with blind kids so they can have
>> age-appropriate involvement in decisions that affect them or are about
>> them.
>> It is tempting to just accept any special treatment offered and it is
>> easy for us to come up with reasons why it is justified. We can say
>> that it is OK for a blind child to skip a line or for a family with a
>> blind child to get a free parking pass because blind kids need more
>> life experiences to really learn about what is around them and these
>> perks let them have more of those experiences over less time or at
>> less cost. We can say that by accepting something free it's just
>> paying back the extra cost or inconvenience of dealing with advocacy
>> headaches etc. Or we can say that special accommodations ultimately
>> promote independence. All those arguments are logically valid but I
>> think many of them depend on negative assumptions about blindness in
>> order to really be true. While we can make those arguments and defend
>> them, we have to remember that any special accommodation comes with
>> both benefits and costs. That cost-benefit balance will differ from
>> family to family and from day to day. But really, nothing we get is
>> "free" in a true sense.
>> Sometimes the cost is to our self-respect. We may get to skip waiting
>> in line and ride more rides in a day, but in the process we're
>> presenting ourselves as being more disabled than we are. If someone is
>> blind with no other disabilities, they can physically stand in line
>> and there are techniques for following a line and staying together
>> with other people. A child who hasn't learned those techniques yet can
>> use sighted guide with a parent and still wait in the line with
>> minimal inconvenience to others. A blind child should hold their cane
>> vertically and close to them while standing still to avoid having it
>> kicked away from them. By skipping the line, the family is signaling
>> that the child isn't capable of standing in the line. Sometimes it's
>> worth that cost if there's a legitimate reason to pass the line, like
>> a health condition that makes standing difficult or painful. But in
>> other cases the benefit is small compared to the self-respect cost.
>> I  remember a particular family trip to Disney World when I was 11
>> years old and my parents got a disability card so we could skip all
>> the lines, because of me. I tried to protest and I remember my dad
>> telling me (with a hint of aggravation in his voice) that this was a
>> decision the parents had  made and I didn't have a say in it. I
>> remember walking around to the exits of all the rides and feeling like
>> I had a flashing scarlet H for "handicapped" on my forehead which
>> everyone could see. (I didn't know about the Scarlet Letter yet, so
>> didn't literally think that, but you  get the idea). It took me many
>> years and a psychology degree to understand why I reacted so strongly,
>> but I think it was because when we skipped the lines I started to see
>> myself differently, as less able. Even worse was that I had no control
>> over what was happening. Of course not all blind kids will feel this
>> way, but it's a cumulative process and lots of special treatment over
>> many years can start to convey a negative message about blindness and
>> about one's respectability. I also know now that there was no reason
>> why we couldn't wait in line except that my parents didn't want to.
>> Another cost of accommodations is dependency. Sometimes we don't know
>> what accommodations we truly need until we stop using them. This isn't
>> as relevant to line-skipping, but if a blind student is constantly
>> getting half homework, extended time, etc. and that accommodation
>> eventually stops being available for any reason, they are likely to
>> struggle. I have seen this happen with university students who think
>> that they cannot get accessible class materials at all without full
>> support from disability services because that's all they've ever done,
>> and  if the disability services office fails them for any reason they
>> drop out altogether because they don't realize they can still succeed
>> without it. There is something to be said for only accepting essential
>> accommodations in order to avoid being dependent on unnecessary ones.
>> To give another example, I used to think I couldn't navigate the
>> airport at all by myself without assistance, until I tried it once
>> when I was bored and had a long layover. If I hadn't tried it out, I
>> might still be getting to the airport far earlier than I needed to so
>> I could wait for someone to assist me.
>> As a rule, I don't take accommodations that would give me an advantage
>> over sighted people. I don't cut lines, pre-board airplanes, request a
>> handicapped parking sticker or accept blindness-related tax
>> deductions. I've broken these rules occasionally when I had something
>> else going on besides blindness, such as a foot injury, but that is my
>> general protocol and I have been quite happy with it. If I do need an
>> accommodation, such as getting something in an accessible format, I
>> try to make things as easy as possible on the person I'm asking to
>> accommodate me. Now that I am on the job market, I can honestly tell
>> employers that my blindness isn't a hindrance to my job performance
>> and that they will not need to do much to accommodate me, which is a
>> quite liberating thing to be able to say.
>> 
>> Best,
>> Arielle
>> 
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