[Blindtlk] Other "wrong" assumptions;Learning body language

Wed Jun 3 19:44:48 UTC 2009

Dear Diann,

You are certainly right about most sighted people as they do have a problem 
with understanding how we do things without vision.
I just use the opportunity to educate them as they are mostly just curious 
about how we do it.
I have also found that many of them may have a fear of loosing their own 
vision or a loved one who may be losing theirs.
I generally tell them that it is different for everyone who is blind.  We 
all react in our own way.  For me, I have just learned how to make mental 
maps of places I go and use simple problem solving techniques to help me 
figure out how to get around in new situations.    I tell them that there 
are three things that anyone dealing with a disability needs to have to be 
successful.
They are: (1) they need to have a good positive attitude about life and life 
in general so that when life gives you lemons you know hao to make Lemonade; 
turn those negatives in to positives.  (2) they need access to good rehab 
training , adaptive equipment and information that helps them cope and 
compensate for that disability and; (3). They need to know someone else with 
that disability who knows more about it than they do.  If you have these 
three things, you will very likely be okay.
I have found that the NFB has the best and most positive philosophy and 
tries to set the best example and role model for being a blind person.  That 
is not to say that there are not others out there also, but they have been 
the best organization I have been exposed to over my lifetime.
I use every opportunity to educate people, in a pleasant and friendly 
manner, no matter how dumb or silly the question.
I had someone I had spoken to a couple of years ago come up and tell me that 
they remembered me and how I answered them and they wanted to join our 
chapter as they were loosing their vision and were afraid of it.  My answers 
had stuck with them and when they began loosing more sight they remembered 
me and the NFB.
Many people go through a period of denial and fear as they lose vision and 
try to ignore it or hide it because they fear others will look down on them 
or pity them or treat them differently.
They have to get beyond this point before they will accept their situation 
and reach out for the right help.
Most eye doctors do not help them beyond the medical treatment and do not 
tell people where to turn next.
I try to take the high ground here, so I can always feel right about myself.

David Evans, NFBF
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at icrc.IN.gov>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 03, 2009 1:23 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Other "wrong" assumptions;Learning body language

> Hi Mike,
>
> Exactly.  One question people often want to know is, "how do you know
> where you are going?"  Now, how do you answer a question like that?  Why
> in the world do people conclude that the sense of sight, common sense,
> and intelligence go hand in hand.  It is beyond me.
>
> Maybe I shouldn't be so arrogant after just inquiring into the basics of
> guidedog travel.  I'm sure that those who have used guidedogs for years
> probably thought my questions were a little ridiculous too.  But my
> goodness, I just don't know where the sighted come up with some of these
> assumptions.  They just think that sight is the be all and end all, and
> if you don't have it, they just assume you don't have anything else.
>
> Diane Graves
> Civil Rights Specialist
> Indiana Civil Rights Commission
> Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
> 317-232-2647
>
> "IT is service that measures success."
> George Washington Carver
>
>
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> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Mike Sivill
> Sent: Wednesday, June 03, 2009 12:52 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Other "wrong" assumptions;Learning body language
>
> Hi Dianne,
> I know what you mean about answering questions sometimes being
> difficult. I
> remember in high school some kid asked me how I knew what button to
> press on
> the soda machine and I said Coke is always the first one and then he
> kept
> pestering me about how I knew Coke was always the first one and I
> couldn't
> for the life of me remember who told me that but it was just one of
> those
> things you pick up.
> Mike
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On
> Behalf Of Graves, Diane
> Sent: Wednesday, June 03, 2009 5:03 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Other "wrong" assumptions;Learning body language
>
> Hi Guys,
>
> Just a couple of things.
>
> As far as the body language dilemma goes, I remember that when I was
> growing up, I got the impression that it was polite to smile at people,
> or that this made you to appear friendly.  This still seems to be the
> consensus, although I am, even at middle age, still very self conscious
> about it.  The reason is that, when I was a teenager, there were several
> instances in which I didn't realize that a particular individual was
> speaking to me.  In a conversation with my dad after one of these
> episodes, he said to me, "you just sit there with that retarded smile of
> yours."  So now, whenever I smile, I wonder if I am looking "retarded."
>
>
> I also had a comment regarding the issue of trying to be more
> considerate when explaining to the sighted how we do things.  One thing
> that I find is that many of the things are so second nature to me, that
> I find it difficult to break it down for someone who doesn't understand,
> and explain to them how I do something.  It is just the standard
> procedure for me.  Do you know what I mean?
>
> For instance, if you were to ask a sighted person, "how do you eat,"
> they would look at you like you were crazy.  Of course, they look at the
> food, grab the fork and bring it up to their mouths and eat.  They would
> find it a very stupid question.
>
> Well, it is very much the same for those of us who have been dealing
> with blindness all of our lives.  Yes, we have had to learn things and
> get information a little differently, but once it is a part of us, it is
> just the way we do things, and it isn't easy to understand why it hard
> for someone else to comprehend. Does that make sense?
>
>
> Diane Graves
> Civil Rights Specialist
> Indiana Civil Rights Commission
> Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
> 317-232-2647
>
> "IT is service that measures success."
> George Washington Carver
>
>
> Confidentiality Notice: This E-mail transmission may contain
> confidential and/or legally privileged information intended only for the
> individual or entity(ies)
> named in the E-mail address. If you are not the intended recipient, be
> advised that any unauthorized disclosure, copying, distribution, or
> acting in reliance
> upon the contents of this E-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have
> received this E-mail transmission in error, please reply to sender to
> arrange for the return and proper delivery of the transmission.
> Subsequently, delete the message from your system immediately.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Gary Wunder
> Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 10:07 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Other "wrong" assumptions;Learning body language
>
> Appropriately putting on makeup is a major problem for many blind women,
> and
> more of them should ask those who do it well and more of us should be
> more
> open to admitting that the answers to things obvious to us once weren't.
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Steve P. Deeley" <stevep.deeley at insightbb.com>
> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 7:14 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Other "wrong" assumptions;Learning body language
>
>
>> Connie:
>> There are sighted individuals who are truly amazed how blind
> individuals
>> function in such an  accomplish manner.  A lot of these individual
> really
>> admire how a blind person is able to function.  I'm not certain if a
>> question dealing with how you apply your makeup is a dumb or stupid
>> question.  People are just curious.
>> Steve.
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Constance Canode" <satin-bear at sbcglobal.net>
>> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 5:25 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Other "wrong" assumptions;Learning body
> language
>>
>>
>>> The stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me.  I was riding the
>>> bus to work one morning and someone asked me how I applied my
>>> makeup.  I was in a rotten mood and I responded that my husband's dog
>>> did it with her long tail.  She believed it.  Again as you already
>>> said, here's your sign.
>>>
>>> Connie Canode
>>> At 09:30 PM 6/1/2009, you wrote:
>>>>I had someone ask me once, If you are blind, how do you eat, you
>>>>know, find your mouth with your fork...?
>>>>I replied with, You can't see it, but I have a very fine fishing
>>>>line around my plate and the other end is around my front tooth. I
>>>>just follow th line up to my mouth.
>>>>
>>>>He said, Wow, I can't even see the line...
>>>>Here's your sign!!
>>>>I had a friend who had a black Lab assistance dog. She was going
>>>>through a Wal-Mart checkout and the lady asked her if that was a
>>>>blind dog? She told her that yeah she was, but that she wore the
>>>>glasses and led her around so the dog would not lose confidence in
>>>>itself...
>>>>Here's your sign!!
>>>>
>>>>Marty
>>>>marty at theblindbean.com
>>>>
>>>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Gerardo Corripio"
>>>><gera1027 at prodigy.net.mx>
>>>>To: "Blind-Talk" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>Sent: Sunday, May 31, 2009 2:05 PM
>>>>Subject: [Blindtlk] Other "wrong" assumptions;Learning body language
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>Robert's message about false assumptions in the workplace reminded
>>>>>me of the following incident:
>>>>>The other day while attending a dinner with some coleagues one of
>>>>>them asked "Are you able to eat on your own"? comment which angered
>>>>>me, though I know the sighted person asked me with good intention
>>>>>it still made me a bit angry to the point that I know still lots of
>>>>>work needs to be done (especially in countries where the NFB isn't
>>>>>well-known or even heard of); this is why I really enjoy the list;
>>>>>ai always learn a lot from you guys.
>>>>>This brings me to another question especially for those of you
>>>>>blind from birth: How did you guys learn to use body language? I
>>>>>sometimes get to thinking that aside from integrating more with the
>>>>>sighted world, it saves our mouths from talking, especially while
>>>>>eating or doing other things that at that moment doesn't permit us
> to
>>>>>speak.
>>>>>also, when saying no (shake of the head) is it from side to side by
>>>>>moving the head from shoulder to shoulder or moving the head
>>>>>clockwise or counterclockwise?
>>>>>also what does srugging the shoulder signify? As you see we blind
>>>>>from birth lose a lot of things by not being able to see. And when
>>>>>I first introduced myself the RP I took it to mean Retinopathy of
>>>>>Prematurity like in spanish, thus didn't think to clarify the
> concept.
>>>>>Gerardo
>>>>>
>>>>>_______________________________________________
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> 0q.com
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>_______________________________________________
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> 40sbcglobal.net
>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>
>>
>>
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