[Blindtlk] Advice for blind dads?

[Gary Wunder]

Hi Eric and congratulations.

My advice is first to enjoy your children at every stage. They'll pass from 
one stage to the next and as much as you'll love watching them grow, you'll 
still miss the child of a month ago. My daughter Missy is 25 and working in 
a highly responsible job after getting her college degree. I love that 
Missy, and at the same time I miss the Missy who sat with me in the rocking 
chair, the one who rode in front of me in a snuggly as I walked her to 
sleep, the child who looked at me when I was saying something important to 
her like I was an oracle. I miss the kid who, learning to think on her own, 
realized I wasn't all wise and didn't know nearly as much as she thought I 
did, and the child who later, as the  pendulum swung, again came to realize 
I knew a bit more than she thought I did and flattered me by once again 
coming for advice. I miss the day we went to purchase her a car and she 
thought her Daddy was the smartest bargainer in the world, and then the 
drive where she asked me "How am I doing Dad," and I said "I can't really 
supervise you right now," and she said "yah, I know, but it feels like you 
can."

So where does blindness come in? Maybe in that your child gives you an 
opportunity to live what you say and will quickly tell you when there is a 
difference. Your new child won't assume you can't and that he can, for the 
reality will be that if you can't, it won't happen because your child will 
in truth be as helpless as many others have mistakenly thought you to be.

Don't let your child use her vision so much for you that she becomes Daddy's 
indispensible little helper, but don't shy away from assigning chores just 
because your child will use their vision. Do everything you can to provide a 
stable loving home where your child looks to you for what he needs, but 
don't be surprised when soon after he starts school, he comes home with the 
idea that he needs to help you across the street, warn you of steps, and 
starts telling you things you can't do even as you are doing them. I'm not 
certain what the school experience is, but something really pushes your 
children to believe you need them, not lovingly in the way you do, but 
physically in ways you do not.

Give yourself a break when things don't go like you want them to go. There 
is a difference between a perfect family and a wonderful family. Lots of us 
enjoy the latter and read about the former.

Have fun shaping a soul, and have even more fun when you realize how much 
shape that soul will find on her own. If ever there was an argument to 
convince me that the sum can be grater than its parts, the development of a 
child can do it.

I'm going to post your question to our parents network in the hope folks 
have some better advice than I'm able to give.

Enjoy your new arrival.




----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Eric Calhoun" <eric at pmpmail.com>
To: <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:54 PM
Subject: [Blindtlk] Advice for blind dads?


> New topic on the table:
>
> What's the best advice you could give to a would-be father who is blind?
>
> Eric
> --
>
> --
>
> Eric from Los Angeles with a tip for you!:  Want your baseball fix?  Want
> it when you need it? Then the baseball list is just what the doctor
> ordered!  Send a message, please, to eric at pmpmail.com, and put, "Eric, I
> would like to join your baseball list," in the subject line.
>
>
>
> Not your average, cooky-cutter baseball list!  Major-League Baseball!
> Minor-League Baseball!  Independent Minor-League Baseball!  It's the
> ultimate!  It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the
> fight in the dog!
>


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