[Blindtlk] Advice for blind dads?

Mon Jun 22 17:03:28 UTC 2009

WOW!  Missie is 25?  I remember that story in the Kernel book (I can't
remember the name) where you were relaying your exchanges with Missie
who was about 6 and trying to tell you when to cross the street and
trying to protect you and test your knowledge of when it was safe to
cross.

Time sure does fly.

Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647

"IT is service that measures success."
George Washington Carver

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-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Gary Wunder
Sent: Monday, June 22, 2009 11:53 AM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List; Missouri Parents Network
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Advice for blind dads?

Hi Eric and congratulations.

My advice is first to enjoy your children at every stage. They'll pass
from 
one stage to the next and as much as you'll love watching them grow,
you'll 
still miss the child of a month ago. My daughter Missy is 25 and working
in 
a highly responsible job after getting her college degree. I love that 
Missy, and at the same time I miss the Missy who sat with me in the
rocking 
chair, the one who rode in front of me in a snuggly as I walked her to 
sleep, the child who looked at me when I was saying something important
to 
her like I was an oracle. I miss the kid who, learning to think on her
own, 
realized I wasn't all wise and didn't know nearly as much as she thought
I 
did, and the child who later, as the  pendulum swung, again came to
realize 
I knew a bit more than she thought I did and flattered me by once again 
coming for advice. I miss the day we went to purchase her a car and she 
thought her Daddy was the smartest bargainer in the world, and then the 
drive where she asked me "How am I doing Dad," and I said "I can't
really 
supervise you right now," and she said "yah, I know, but it feels like
you 
can."

So where does blindness come in? Maybe in that your child gives you an 
opportunity to live what you say and will quickly tell you when there is
a 
difference. Your new child won't assume you can't and that he can, for
the 
reality will be that if you can't, it won't happen because your child
will 
in truth be as helpless as many others have mistakenly thought you to
be.

Don't let your child use her vision so much for you that she becomes
Daddy's 
indispensible little helper, but don't shy away from assigning chores
just 
because your child will use their vision. Do everything you can to
provide a 
stable loving home where your child looks to you for what he needs, but 
don't be surprised when soon after he starts school, he comes home with
the 
idea that he needs to help you across the street, warn you of steps, and

starts telling you things you can't do even as you are doing them. I'm
not 
certain what the school experience is, but something really pushes your 
children to believe you need them, not lovingly in the way you do, but 
physically in ways you do not.

Give yourself a break when things don't go like you want them to go.
There 
is a difference between a perfect family and a wonderful family. Lots of
us 
enjoy the latter and read about the former.

Have fun shaping a soul, and have even more fun when you realize how
much 
shape that soul will find on her own. If ever there was an argument to 
convince me that the sum can be grater than its parts, the development
of a 
child can do it.

I'm going to post your question to our parents network in the hope folks

have some better advice than I'm able to give.

Enjoy your new arrival.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Eric Calhoun" <eric at pmpmail.com>
To: <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 1:54 PM
Subject: [Blindtlk] Advice for blind dads?

> New topic on the table:
>
> What's the best advice you could give to a would-be father who is
blind?
>
> Eric
> --
>
> --
>
> Eric from Los Angeles with a tip for you!:  Want your baseball fix?
Want
> it when you need it? Then the baseball list is just what the doctor
> ordered!  Send a message, please, to eric at pmpmail.com, and put, "Eric,
I
> would like to join your baseball list," in the subject line.
>
>
>
> Not your average, cooky-cutter baseball list!  Major-League Baseball!
> Minor-League Baseball!  Independent Minor-League Baseball!  It's the
> ultimate!  It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of
the
> fight in the dog!
>

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