[Blindtlk] Needing Feedback and Support

[Judy Jones]

Hi, Diane,

This is very interesting, but if handled correctly, may win you a good 
friend.

It's really hard to give firm advice, not really knowing this other person, 
but maybe you could take her aside, maybe both go for lunch, or a coffee 
break together.  Then seriously talk to her.  Put her in the best light so 
her defenses won't go up.  Example,  "We've known each other a long time, 
and I know you have the best of intentions, but this is how you come across 
to me?  If I'm misunderstanding, please correct me, but we're both competent 
independent adults, and should treat each other that way."  She may not 
realize she's doing this.

The less serious, of course, is to kid someone out of an attitude like that.

The others, of course, you already mentioned is to do what you did, and I've 
done this, too.  Not react, and hope your example of living will do the 
trick.  I've found usually this works but not always, like you said.

A couple of years ago, I made the decision that a friend and I needed to 
part company, because, as much as she was a friend, there was a part of her 
that couldn't quite let go of the perception of me not quite being as estute 
or on top of things because of blindness.  I realized that she just would 
never get it, no matter what I did or didn't do.  I had talked with her 
seriously before, but she seemingly blew me off.  What helped this break to 
occur naturally was that she was going out of town for a month at about the 
same time we were moving to another part of town.

Because this is a coworker you have to be around, a serious talk may be in 
order, but if you can find out what is making her tick, what's driving this 
behavior, a lot of light may be shed on her attitude.  Maybe she's insecure 
and really needs a friend herself.

Also, this person may, believe it or not, be unaware she's reacting this 
way.  Some honest talk should hellp not to bottle emotions up, turning into 
destructive anger.

Hope all this helps, and would love to hear the outcome.

Judy