[Blindtlk] Needing Feedback and Support

[David Andrews]

Just say yes, or "yes I cook every day."  The most powerful things we 
do are through our actions -- so just go forth and bring in some 
delicious bread.

Dave


>Hello Federationists.
>
>First of all, let me apologize if I have posted this question here 
>before. I have been on the list, and dealing with the same issue for 
>a good number of years, and my memory is not what it used to be. So, 
>I'm hoping I'm not being repetitious, but here we go.
>
>Most of you who know me know that I am a long time federationist, 
>and am someone who has been blind since I was a toddler. Even so, 
>I'm afraid I still have not mastered the art of dealing with 
>condescending comments and behavior from my sighted colleagues in an 
>effective, graceful manner. I tend to have two modes. One is 
>passive, the other is aggressive. Each of these modes has a negative 
>impact, and neither is appropriate. I'm hoping I can get some good 
>suggestions here.
>
>The ironic thing about this as it relates to my coworkers is that I 
>work for a local civil rights agency. Some of those who are dishing 
>out this treatment are people who have likely experienced similar 
>treatment themselves, or have been commissioned to eradicate this 
>treatment.  Anyway, the list of instances is infinite and stretches 
>back to the onset of my blindness, but, in the interest of time, 
>I'll just give you the latest example.
>
>The office is having a holiday pitch-in on Friday and each staff 
>member was asked to sign up and bring a dish.  When I informed the 
>coordinator that I would be baking bread, she asked me "Oh, are you 
>sure you want to cook?" Duhhh? Now I would bet my life that no other 
>staff person who signed up to bring a dish (virtually all of us) was 
>asked this question. Even as I say it, it sounds a bit minor, but 
>these things add up and happen all the time.
>
>This same person is always volunteering to bring things to my desk 
>so that I don't have to come to her and pick them up or sign a card 
>for a staff member or whatever. She is always calling me 
>"honey/sweetie, and using a tone that one might use when talking 
>with a child. ." I have never heard her talk to another staff person 
>in this way. I talked to a group of high school students who came to 
>the office a few months ago about my job and what I do, and this 
>same person proceeded to tell me how very amazing I was. What? I'm 
>amazing because I can tell a group of kids what I do for a living?
>
>I have tried to talk to others about the treatment before and have 
>been told that people were just "trying to help," and that I was 
>making too much out of things. I have also had major melt downs over 
>these types of things before, and caused myself to be alienated.
>
>I don't want to be alienated. I want to have friends. I just want to 
>be viewed and treated as an equal, and not talked down to as if I 
>were a child or somehow less capable. It wouldn't be appropriate on 
>the basis of race, national origin or any other protected class, and 
>it isn't appropriate on the basis of blindness either.
>
>Anyway, how do the rest of you deal with things like this 
>effectively? Any feedback would really be appreciated.