[Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

Fri Feb 26 17:30:06 UTC 2010

I am not into face touching.  the only person whose face I have ever felt in 
the manner you describe was my son when he was very little.  I feel like the 
only things that I'm missing out on by not touching faces are things that I 
really don't care about anyway.   I can tell if a person is smiling or 
laughing in their voice.  I can tell if a person is only half way paying 
attention to me in their voice. How much acne they have, whether or not they 
wear glasses or have a beard are not really important to me.

the man who is now my husband and I had been on several dates before I 
thought to ask a friend about his appearance.  It really didn't matter to me 
much.  I suppose it was more a curiosity than anything else.    The vague, 
"oh he's good looking." didn't help much and it definitely didn't change the 
way I felt about him.

Perhaps if we're talking about teen agers or college aged kids who aren't 
too interested in an actual relationship, but more a fashion accessory 
partner, then maybe physical appearance is more important.  I don't know.

Julie

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Ray Foret jr" <rforetjr at comcast.net>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 4:17 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

> Umberto,
>
> Let me begin by dispelling the idea you seem to have in your head that the 
> looks of a person are everything.  this, I assure you, is not so.  Yes, 
> looks are important, and, it goes without saying that you yourself should 
> look at least presentable.  Now, as to knowing how someone looks, I would 
> say to you that you should not base your decision on just how the other 
> person looks.  But, let's start with the question of facing the other 
> person.
>
> In this case, all you need really to do is to turn in the direction of the 
> person's voice; and, this will put you facing that other person.  But, 
> even if the other person is not speaking, you can usually tell where they 
> are and if you begin by saying hello, their answer back will instantly 
> give you all the information you really need to do this.
>
> As for feeling other people's faces, wow!  You really want to avoid doing 
> that for sure; that is, unless you don't mind the prospect of getting your 
> own face slapped.  Man, that's something right out of a horror film from 
> the 1930's.  The sound of the person's voice will tell you quite a lot 
> about that person.  In fact, I believe that a person's voice gives away 
> much more about that person than they ever realize.
> Otherwise, you can find out some fact about the other person which you 
> will find you have in common with them and use this as a starting point. 
> Let me give you a personal example of what I mean.  My girlfriend and I 
> met on an e-mail list serve.  One night, I wrote her just to say "hi", and 
> she answered me back by pointing out that she noticed my e-mail signature 
> and said that she too loves to go barefooted all the time.  Well, that was 
> the factor we have in common which served as a kind of jumping off point, 
> if you will.  We just took it from there.  While her voice was not what I 
> was hoping it would be, we were too much occupied with the task of 
> deciding whether or not we could have a relationship.  When we did in fact 
> first see each other in person, we knew that it would work.  In fact, 
> she's on this list; and so, she may well have a thing or two to add in 
> this regard.  I am told, by various family members and other friends who 
> have seen her that she is very beautiful.  But, even if they had not so 
> informed me, she would still be beautiful to me; even if her face and body 
> were ghastly in appearance.  You see, it's what's on the inside of a 
> person that really matters.  That's where  you really want to focus.
> Sincerely,
> The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>
> Now a Mac user!!!
>
> e-mail:
> rforetjr at comcast dot net
>
> Skype:
> barefootedray
>
> On Feb 25, 2010, at 7:50 PM, hmp wrote:
>
>> TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
>>
>>    I'm very sure everyone in this mailing list is blind. Maybe some of 
>> you are not. And well, I have a curiosity, or a question, that maybe you 
>> can answer for me and if it is not that intimidating:
>>    As you know, sighted people tend to look at each other's face, or 
>> perhaps most of the body movements and the hands, while they're talking 
>> to each other. For example, when somebody is talking and facing another 
>> person, that person faces that other person, and he or she can look at 
>> the person's face. In addition, this does not happen when they are 
>> talking only; the person can just look at that other person, E.G. a boy 
>> says "hello" to a girl perhaps, and he looks at her because she is pretty 
>> (or she perhaps isn't) and he looks at her smile and he knows what she 
>> looks like. He can maybe remember her just through all those details of 
>> her. Furthermore, there are more case-scenarios out there that are very 
>> similar to this one.
>>    While sighted people do this, as far as blind people are concerned, is 
>> there any way a blind person can do the same things just like the 
>> sighted? Can a blind person tell how someone looks like by some technique 
>> or some information? If I want to know how someone looks like, what can I 
>> do? Sometimes I think that probably by touching faces I can get a general 
>> detail of what he/she is like, but some people may see this as an 
>> offensive thing. I have just a little bit of vision (mostly out of the 
>> corner of my right eye), but I cannot see well enough to see these 
>> things. I can only see very close objects or people. But anyways, if, for 
>> example, I meet a nice girl and she says hello to me, and she carries out 
>> a conversation with me. How can I get the physical description of her? 
>> How do I know if she is just smiling without laughing? How do I know what 
>> her hair looks like? maybe she has a pointy nose, a big/small mouth, and 
>> probably really all straight and white teeth! How can I know these 
>> things? I could perhaps ask her, "What do you look like?" but I've had 
>> bad experiences asking that question, although some people are kind and 
>> they tell me. Again, I don't see any bad thing by touching people's 
>> faces, however, I'm not sure if I should totally do it because of an 
>> offense or just being disrespectful.
>>    I am asking this question just for curiosity, and I'd like to see what 
>> you think about this. Any feedback and comments about this topic are 
>> welcome. I'd like to find out what other blind people have done to 
>> accomplish well this situation.
>>
>> Thank you and have a very lucky day!
>>
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>
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