[Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

Fri Feb 26 21:11:38 UTC 2010

Hello,
  This is a good question and I am glad you've brought it up.
 To me, looks don't matter, but I  certainly  can understand  the urge
to  want to know these things.  As someone who has had visionto some
degree, I can say that when i meet someone I do wonder what they look
like and I think that's normal.
  There are many ways  of getting at that information; I guess  taking
a photo of  the person can be one of them, but that one just has never
really crossed my mind ( a reason  why I love the  conversations that
we  as blind people  tend to have in that  we learn something from
eachother that we probably never considered about  non visually  doing
things).
 I wouldn't  touch someone's face, I just am not a big fan of
invaiding someone's  space in that way and I doubt  very highly that
people who ar sighted go about touching eachother's faces in our
society/culture in  america (other cultures/societies maybe, but
that's more  of  my anthropological imagination going)
 If I wanted to know what somebody looked like and i  felt comfortable
enough asking, I would go ahead and ask.  My though is  the worst
thing I could get is no one  wanting to answer, and  it's just better
to ask and find out.
  as for  non-visual  social interactions;  when you are talking to a
person, and they are facing you, you get alot of information.  You can
tell  if they are interested in talking to you, if they are eating, if
they are smiling, where they are in relation to you,  if they are
taller than you  or shorter.  It's really interesting  what you learn,
when you think about  it.
  I hope  this helps
  Darian

On 2/26/10, Julie J <julielj at windstream.net> wrote:
> I am not into face touching.  the only person whose face I have ever felt in
> the manner you describe was my son when he was very little.  I feel like the
> only things that I'm missing out on by not touching faces are things that I
> really don't care about anyway.   I can tell if a person is smiling or
> laughing in their voice.  I can tell if a person is only half way paying
> attention to me in their voice. How much acne they have, whether or not they
> wear glasses or have a beard are not really important to me.
>
> the man who is now my husband and I had been on several dates before I
> thought to ask a friend about his appearance.  It really didn't matter to me
> much.  I suppose it was more a curiosity than anything else.    The vague,
> "oh he's good looking." didn't help much and it definitely didn't change the
> way I felt about him.
>
> Perhaps if we're talking about teen agers or college aged kids who aren't
> too interested in an actual relationship, but more a fashion accessory
> partner, then maybe physical appearance is more important.  I don't know.
>
> Julie
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Ray Foret jr" <rforetjr at comcast.net>
> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 4:17 AM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like
>
>
>> Umberto,
>>
>> Let me begin by dispelling the idea you seem to have in your head that the
>>
>> looks of a person are everything.  this, I assure you, is not so.  Yes,
>> looks are important, and, it goes without saying that you yourself should
>> look at least presentable.  Now, as to knowing how someone looks, I would
>> say to you that you should not base your decision on just how the other
>> person looks.  But, let's start with the question of facing the other
>> person.
>>
>> In this case, all you need really to do is to turn in the direction of the
>>
>> person's voice; and, this will put you facing that other person.  But,
>> even if the other person is not speaking, you can usually tell where they
>> are and if you begin by saying hello, their answer back will instantly
>> give you all the information you really need to do this.
>>
>> As for feeling other people's faces, wow!  You really want to avoid doing
>> that for sure; that is, unless you don't mind the prospect of getting your
>>
>> own face slapped.  Man, that's something right out of a horror film from
>> the 1930's.  The sound of the person's voice will tell you quite a lot
>> about that person.  In fact, I believe that a person's voice gives away
>> much more about that person than they ever realize.
>> Otherwise, you can find out some fact about the other person which you
>> will find you have in common with them and use this as a starting point.
>> Let me give you a personal example of what I mean.  My girlfriend and I
>> met on an e-mail list serve.  One night, I wrote her just to say "hi", and
>>
>> she answered me back by pointing out that she noticed my e-mail signature
>> and said that she too loves to go barefooted all the time.  Well, that was
>>
>> the factor we have in common which served as a kind of jumping off point,
>> if you will.  We just took it from there.  While her voice was not what I
>> was hoping it would be, we were too much occupied with the task of
>> deciding whether or not we could have a relationship.  When we did in fact
>>
>> first see each other in person, we knew that it would work.  In fact,
>> she's on this list; and so, she may well have a thing or two to add in
>> this regard.  I am told, by various family members and other friends who
>> have seen her that she is very beautiful.  But, even if they had not so
>> informed me, she would still be beautiful to me; even if her face and body
>>
>> were ghastly in appearance.  You see, it's what's on the inside of a
>> person that really matters.  That's where  you really want to focus.
>> Sincerely,
>> The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>>
>> Now a Mac user!!!
>>
>> e-mail:
>> rforetjr at comcast dot net
>>
>> Skype:
>> barefootedray
>>
>> On Feb 25, 2010, at 7:50 PM, hmp wrote:
>>
>>> TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
>>>
>>>    I'm very sure everyone in this mailing list is blind. Maybe some of
>>> you are not. And well, I have a curiosity, or a question, that maybe you
>>> can answer for me and if it is not that intimidating:
>>>    As you know, sighted people tend to look at each other's face, or
>>> perhaps most of the body movements and the hands, while they're talking
>>> to each other. For example, when somebody is talking and facing another
>>> person, that person faces that other person, and he or she can look at
>>> the person's face. In addition, this does not happen when they are
>>> talking only; the person can just look at that other person, E.G. a boy
>>> says "hello" to a girl perhaps, and he looks at her because she is pretty
>>>
>>> (or she perhaps isn't) and he looks at her smile and he knows what she
>>> looks like. He can maybe remember her just through all those details of
>>> her. Furthermore, there are more case-scenarios out there that are very
>>> similar to this one.
>>>    While sighted people do this, as far as blind people are concerned, is
>>>
>>> there any way a blind person can do the same things just like the
>>> sighted? Can a blind person tell how someone looks like by some technique
>>>
>>> or some information? If I want to know how someone looks like, what can I
>>>
>>> do? Sometimes I think that probably by touching faces I can get a general
>>>
>>> detail of what he/she is like, but some people may see this as an
>>> offensive thing. I have just a little bit of vision (mostly out of the
>>> corner of my right eye), but I cannot see well enough to see these
>>> things. I can only see very close objects or people. But anyways, if, for
>>>
>>> example, I meet a nice girl and she says hello to me, and she carries out
>>>
>>> a conversation with me. How can I get the physical description of her?
>>> How do I know if she is just smiling without laughing? How do I know what
>>>
>>> her hair looks like? maybe she has a pointy nose, a big/small mouth, and
>>> probably really all straight and white teeth! How can I know these
>>> things? I could perhaps ask her, "What do you look like?" but I've had
>>> bad experiences asking that question, although some people are kind and
>>> they tell me. Again, I don't see any bad thing by touching people's
>>> faces, however, I'm not sure if I should totally do it because of an
>>> offense or just being disrespectful.
>>>    I am asking this question just for curiosity, and I'd like to see what
>>>
>>> you think about this. Any feedback and comments about this topic are
>>> welcome. I'd like to find out what other blind people have done to
>>> accomplish well this situation.
>>>
>>> Thank you and have a very lucky day!
>>>
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>>
>>
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>
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-- 
Darian Smith
Skype: The_Blind_Truth
Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
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