[Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vs nondisabledsociety

[Julie J]

Responding to some of your thoughts...

I think comparing what you are capable of with what you are actually doing 
is a much better use of your time, than imaginary comparisons of yourself to 
others or imaginary comparisons of what might have been if you were sighted. 
BTW sighted people play the what if game too.  They just pick different 
criteria...what if I had gone to college?  what if I took that other job 
instead of going into the family business?

There are most definitely people who have had very, very rough childhoods 
who have come out the other side doing very well for themselves.  I just met 
a young lady who was in 21 different foster homes.  She is now in college 
studying veterinary science.  No, she's not blind, but I'd bet her 
experience was trying all the same.  We all have our struggles.  Blindness 
is just an obvious one that everyone notices right away.

I'm 36 and while I've only been blind for about the past 16 years or so, I 
have to say that I wouldn't rank blindness as one of the top three most 
difficult things I've had to live through.  That's just my perspective 
though.  Someone else with the same experiences might see the whole thing 
very differently.

Blame serves no purpose other than to distract one from claiming 
responsibility.  Shit happens and life sucks sometimes.  I've gotten to work 
to find that there was a power outage and my computer doesn't work.   Who 
should I blame?  To me the answer is no one.  I just deal with it.   Blaming 
someone, even myself, is not going to get the computer working any faster. 
I put my energy into what works.

I also used to be sighted, although I have always had some degree of vision 
loss.  I used to be able to open a book and read it, read a street sign or 
look at a map.  I'm trying to think of words to explain my thoughts about 
having vision once...but there aren't really any coming to my mind.  I 
sometimes miss the convenience of it, but I don't actually miss "seeing". 
I've been blind for long enough now that I think in terms of blindness.  For 
example when I need to jot down a phone number, it doesn't cross my mind to 
grab an ink pen.  I automatically reach for the slate and stylus.  I think 
good adjustment to blindness training is the best way to learn the skills 
and make the mental leap to thinking in terms of blindness.

You asked about help and whether people help because they feel sorry for us. 
I have no idea.  Honestly it is pretty rare that people offer help to me 
without my initiating a request for it.  I do find that if I make a 
conscious effort to look lost, dazed and confused that I will attract more 
offers.  Useful sometimes, but then again I am also a woman and that has a 
whole other set of social issues with it.

You mentioned accessible books, family members leaving chairs out, 
accessible currency and repeated attempts to educate people about blindness. 
Please understand that I don't mean to be harsh here.  If you are waiting on 
the whole world to change to meet your needs, you are going to be waiting 
quite a while.  You have to do what you can do and leave the rest for 
another day.  All I can do is the best that I can do.  If I talk to my 
family about pushing in chairs that is all I can do about that.  If I need 
to use my cane in the house, move or walk more carefully in that area, well, 
those are also things I can do.  I won't like it and I'll probably complain 
loudly, but in the end whose responsibility is it to keep me safe and happy?

Respect ...ahhh! One of my favorite topics!  You teach people how to respect 
you.  Carry yourself with confidence and poise, treat others with respect 
and most of all respect yourself.  If you've got all that the bit about 
others respecting you will fall into place almost as if by magic.

Thank you so much for reaching out to the people on this list.  I feel 
honored that you shared so much of yourself so honestly.  I believe,  as 
others have suggested, that you would benefit immensely from attending a 
training center and connecting with other blind people.

Julie