[Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vsnondisabledsociety

[Graves, Diane]

You know, if you think about it, there are actually some disadvantages to sight. For instance, the majority of sighted people that I know tend to judge people by what they see, what the person looks like. They might write someone off who has the potential to be a very good friend, simply because they don't like the way they dress, or their weight or whatever. Sight tends to make people a little more superficial, I think.

Of course there are the numerous advantages to sight, and yes, some things are easier,. Some things are easier for us too, I think. For instance, most of the sighted people I know are totally disabled without a light to enable them to see what they are doing.

The point is that you just have to deal with the hand you've been dealt. You can either play it haphazardly because you are angry, or you can play it was grace and learn how to be happy where you are. Please believe me, I am preaching to myself here too. I have a lot of anger issues that I've struggled with for years. But, having said that, I wish I could get back all the time I spent stewing and immobilized by that anger and frustration, and turn it into something productive.

Do you know what I mean?

Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647

"It is service that measures success."
George Washington Carver

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-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Dewey Bradley
Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 9:14 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vsnondisabled society

Some times its a blessing to be blind.
If I wasn't blind, I think I would be dead or in jaill or worse.
When I was growing up, I lived out in the country, "The people I hung out
with are all in for life for DUI's, or dead.
If I were to get my sight back, I would be fine, but back then all there was
to do was get drunk and drive around in the woods.
I have an ant that's in a wheele chair, she put her self there drinking and
driveing, and she is mad at the world.
So theirs nothing wrong with being blind
----- Original Message -----
From: "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 1:11 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vsnondisabled
society


> Peter,
>
> Most of us probably deal with some of the very feelings and questions that
> you raise here from time to time.  While it is true that we need to deal
> with feelings along
> these lines, one also has to try to determine which questions have answers
> at all.
>
> First, forget about comparing yourself with what you would have been with
> vision.  The reason I say that is that none of us can truly know what we
> would have
> been.  For example, had I been sighted, I could have done things that I
> cannot do as a blind person, there is no arguing that.  In my case,
> though, had I been
> sighted, I would very likely have served in the military, a duty I am sure
> I would have performed to the best of my ability, but who knows if I would
> have survived.  I
> wonder if I would have finished college, and while I would likely have
> gotten a good job, I don't honestly know if it would have been as good as
> the job I managed to
> get because I had to apply myself.  You can't just assume that if you had
> sight that everything else would be the same plus the bonus of vision.
> Other things may
> have gone wrong.  They may also have gone right, but you don't know for
> sure.
>
> People do not enter this world all having the same set of tools.  It is
> easy for us to think of ourselves as being like everybody but without
> sight.  That is just not an
> accurate way to look at things.  There is no "everybody".  People are all
> very different and one has to look at the whole person.  While I would not
> claim that
> blindness does not make things harder, I also have seen sighted people who
> have had to struggle more than I do.  Sight doesn' magically make
> everything better,
> and it is a trap to let oneself think that it does.
>
> Each of us has to live our lives using the tallents and abilities we were
> given.  We all indulge ourselves by wondering what we would have been if
> we had vision, but
> it isn't much different than wondering what it would be like to win the
> lottery.  Sighted people dream of what they might have accomplished if
> things would have been
> different, too.  all of us dream of what might have been, but in the end,
> we need to figure out how we can do the best we can with what we have at
> our disposal.
> We need to evaluate our tallents and make choices accordingly.  If we
> qualify for some help from the government, we need to figure out how to
> make the best use
> of that help.  It is only wasted if we let ourselves waste it.  Finally,
> we need to help each other.  All of us who are blind have that blindness
> in common.  We can learn
> from one another and we can give each other strength.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Steve Jacobson
>
> On Wed, 2 Jun 2010 06:12:06 -0500, Peter Wolfe wrote:
>
>>--
>>Peter
>>Webmaster
>>http://www.darkstruggle.com
>>webmaster at darkstruggle.com
>>alternative e-mail
>>sunspot005 at gmail.com
>
>>To Blind Talk:
>
>
>>   It's me Peter here and I would like to know what other blind people
>>out there think of this topic. I suffer from a inferiority complex
>>ever since I was a young child before knowing of my dormant vision
>>heredetary disease. It's like you know you might be good and you might
>>have heard it from others but you feel abandoned by those same people.
>>I always look at other people like what they must have had that I
>>didn't have as a child living in abdject poverty as a child. Then, I
>>point out intellectual minor flaws cause of a broken family,
>>uneducated parents, U.S overall poor educational standards and
>>differences from area to area, learning environments, and no real
>>positive role modles like having family members that have gone to
>>college. So, now I'm in college and am getting to a point of
>>quitlistening to people cause they can't understand.
>>    Secondly, I measure myself through a overall scope like I am and
>>who I could have been if I were sighted like the rest of overall
>>society. When I was a child, I wanted to be a astronomer, computer
>>scientists, mathmatitian, psysist and such. Now, I look at all of the
>>wasted years like twenty-four years of only having a two year minor
>>associates degree and having changed my major three times at a major
>>four year university and pressure of picking that special major. I
>>want to have upward mobility with security without too much strings
>>attached and so much stress to pick. I often think of how to compete
>>with other undisabled furuter applicants or my degree becomes out of
>>date cause of stalls or something and am loke I screwed up. I wasted
>>government money, family money, time, energy and etc that could have
>>been spent on something better than little old me.
>>    Thirdly, I blame myself for things beyond my control. Public
>>transportation, screen reader issues, paperwork, independence issues,
>>communication barriers in participation, entertainment fun and etc. If
>>I could only see to understand what others are doing I could be on the
>>same par of them. The same playng field cause I have had vision I miss
>>it even more. Does this make sense to anyone else on the list? The
>>thing is that I don't like is that nobody usually does at all cause
>>they sadly think I'm making excuses to drop out or change my major a
>>million times.
>>    Fourthly, I look at the outcomes too much like the quarter of
>>gainfully employed blind people in the U.S. The often times
>>incompetent government workers from multiple sectors, inadaquate
>>research availible, unaccessible government resources, unwillingness
>>for overall society to change for universal accessability and etc is
>>appalling and hard for me. I want to change life but I can't even
>>adapt to this disappointment. Imagine going from practising driving
>>and going legally blind in the span of a few months. Couple that with
>>deep family problems and a incompetent government and you get me. Now,
>>I am becoming religious in a catholic sort of way cause it's my life.
>>    Fifthly, I try out new things to constantly disappointment myself.
>>The old times is what I say like the majority of us formerly sighted
>>people think. The psychologists and others can't understand the
>>frustratiosn wheling up inside of me. The sin of anger, and envy and
>>blasophemy at times occurs cause I wish that I wasn't who I am right
>>now. Overall society is being burdened by my tremendous weight and all
>>I can do is lash out in anger. The fear of the unknown like most is
>>strong but even stronger with us blind people and especially someone
>>of my variety. Adapting a whole new prospective like playing real
>>visual games like Mortal Combat or Final Fantasy and none of this beep
>>bs you know? These visually impaired games are far too simplistic and
>>I hate to complain it's hard to measure up. Nothing is the same as it
>>once was anymore.
>>    Sixthly, the feeling of alienation and osterizing myself in
>>overall society cause of the ultimate question for us blind people
>>when it comes to terms of help. Are they helping us because we are
>>human or our disability? This is a questions you often don't want to
>>ask cause you don't want to be rude but I'm putting on the table.
>>People often times forget that you can't see and you constantly must
>>educate over and over like over again about your vision. In my former
>>house, family members would leave chairs, clothes and crap where I
>>constantly ran into it even though they knew that I am blind. Another
>>thing the books on tape and othr arciac means should been gotten
>>transfered years ago and it makes you wonder about advocacy on our
>>ends here. The accessability of our currency should have happened
>>decades and anything for us takes forever. It makes me depressed
>>because the prospects of things in a sitable measurable way to the way
>>it was is like a pipe dream or somehting. Where independence, freedom,
>>respect and etc as a normal american is too far for me to reach
>>anymore. The sense of powerless gets strong man.
>>     Seventh, the adaptation too religion has been tough as well like
>>the customs, traditions, respcts, manners and roles of being a
>>christian can be tough. The habits are hard to overcome especially not
>>being born into a religion can be tough. You naturally revert at times
>>of confusion or of low self-esteem to your natural state. Mine is
>>depression, anxiety, hate, envy, and all of that nice stuff.
>>     Eightly, the amount of time for things like preperation has been
>>hard to deal with for these years of blindness like setting up public
>>transportation, waiting for a taxi or friends, mobility traning or
>>orientation, sighted assistance on appointments (e.g. computers) and
>>other things is tough. The amount of shear energy you guys have to
>>master like me is astounding and is a blessing/curse of being blind
>>cause we have a built up endurance but short in gas you know? Well, I
>>just worry all of the time about things I can't change. For example, I
>>often times feel like I could have been better off being born in
>>another country like in Europe, Canada, Australia or Britain or some
>>place like that where disabilities could have more of a progressive
>>aim to it. Other times I would like to move there were diversity is a
>>mainstay and the thoughts lurk in my mind like you can't do it or it's
>>visual.
>>    Finally, thanks for any ideas on defeating this issue. It's gotten
>>bad so much in the past where I performed self-infliction and
>>attempted suicide. I've been put on medicine but it's pointless too
>>and counsuling is dumb. The anger management therapy and the private
>>counsuling without having a person like one in a million it's
>>worthless to me. It's like being in a cage when other people poke fun
>>at your suffering or something and no similar animals like you around.
>>People the ones that become successful ostercize themselves and have a
>>superiority arrogance complex cause at one time they had somebody help
>>them so why not try to help your fellow man? What happened to Love Thy
>>Neighbor? Seriously cause people think of generalizations of us like
>>lazy, welfare recipent, handicapped, poor, uneducated and etc. We are
>>a nation or people rather that doesn't motivate those that don't llook
>>the build of education but that in itself is misleading of the
>>american population. Anybody can have an education just need time and
>>energy and motivation but I lack in these areas myself right now. I
>>especially like multiple backgrounds from young to the old about this
>>issue and I know that I am not the only one that is out there. I'm not
>>sorry for the length either cause these words have been in me too long
>>and if I held them any longer I will burst. Thank be to God and any
>>prayers you may have about this issue with any advice as well. By the
>>way, sometimes I revert to a class structuralist prospect on
>>economics, background, life experiences, and not necessarily a victim
>>mentality just understanding more than anything is what I need. A
>>person that has walked the streets is prefered.
>
>
>>sincerely,
>>Peter
>
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>
>
>
>
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