[Blindtlk] Inferiority complex withdisabilityvsnondisabledsociety

Mon Jun 7 01:42:57 UTC 2010

Gary,  Your Email to Peter was phenomenal!!  I sincerely hope that all on 
this list read it!  I suspect that Peter's frustrations and hopelessness are 
far from isolated.  I, myself, lost my vision as a child.  There was medical 
malpractice after a car accident.  To say that I didn't, and sometimes still 
do, wonder what I might have become sighted would be a lie.  To say that I 
don't struggle with jealousy towards my sighted sibblings would be a lie, 
but though life has completely smacked you in the face, it is completely up 
to you whether you survive or begin to really live again.

Peter, in your Email you asked for someone from the streets to respond.  I 
see where you were going with that, but in so many ways where you came from 
does not and will not define where you go!  People who were born with it all 
sometimes destroy their lives, while others that society deemed a hopeless 
cause become success stories.  I often wonder what makes someone learn how 
to live.  Life is not easy.  Sometimes it plain sucks!!  I wish I could tell 
you the magic answer.  All I can say is that in my own life it is prayer on 
even the daily mundane tasks, support from others in the NFB, and training 
in Louisiana that have gotten me where I am at.  In a previous message I 
know someone mentioned attending a training center.  I hope you didn't just 
brush it off.  NFB training centers are so much more than the skills.  They 
are six to nine months of blind people who understand fully the struggles 
and challenges of being blind, but who have acquired alternative techniques 
to live fulfilling lives.  It is your own implementation of these techniques 
that builds confidence!  The NFB maintains that blindness is not a tragedy; 
well I am sorry to say that for me it was.  The thing is Peter, I have 
learned that I am not going to let my past consume my future!  Peter, I am 
nothing special.  I am gainfully employed; I have loving friends, family, 
and boyfriend; life may not look the way I planned it would look, but I am 
happy.

Thank you for having the courage to write,
Jessica
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Dewey Bradley" <dewey.bradley at att.net>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 1:39 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex 
withdisabilityvsnondisabledsociety

> Garry makes some very good points indeed.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at icrc.IN.gov>
> To: "'Gary Wunder'" <gwunder at earthlink.net>; "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" 
> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 12:04 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with 
> disabilityvsnondisabledsociety
>
>
>> Peter,
>>
>> Gary makes some very good points here as well. It would simply be untrue 
>> for me to tell you that there are no advantages to being sighted, or 
>> disadvantages to being blind. Just as there are advantages to having 
>> money, v. not  having as much. If Bill Gates decides that he wants to 
>> order a pizza on a Friday night for dinner, he doesn't have to stop and 
>> think about whether or not he can afford it the way that I do.
>>
>> The point is though, that there are ways around most of these things. We 
>> find those ways, most of them are not insurmountable,  and we lead 
>> productive and full lives.
>>
>>
>> Diane Graves
>> Civil Rights Specialist
>> Indiana Civil Rights Commission
>> Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
>> 317-232-2647
>>
>> "It is service that measures success."
>> George Washington Carver
>>
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>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf Of Gary Wunder
>> Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 12:25 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vs 
>> nondisabledsociety
>>
>> Peter, you have asked many questions and I am certain in one sitting I 
>> can't
>> begin to response to them all. Even this assumes I know all the answers,
>> which I most certainly do not.
>>
>> I throw out these ideas and observations with the suggestion that you 
>> take
>> what you like and leave the rest. It does no good to compare yourself 
>> with
>> what you might have been. In the first place, you don't know what you 
>> might
>> have been. I might be angry because my Dad was the owner of a successful
>> construction business which I could have run and might be far better off
>> financially than I am now. Without sight, I can't run the heavy equipment 
>> so
>> perhaps I should be angry. Because I am blind, I traveled a different 
>> road,
>> went to college, got a degree, and work as a computer programmer. That
>> college experience introduced me to good books, to different thoughts 
>> about
>> the world, and to a tolerance of other people I'd never have gotten had I
>> stayed at home. Which life is the better? Unfortunately this is a 
>> question
>> without an answer. I have to make of my life what is possible, without
>> spending too much time grieving about some alternative future.
>> In your note you acknowledge a lot of problems. Acknowledging one has a
>> problem is often the first step on the road to solving it, but sometimes
>> that acknowledgement is simply a way of stating the problem and the more 
>> we
>> state it, the more we come to like the way we say it. We grow accustomed 
>> to
>> the burden of that problem, and rather than using our admission to solve 
>> it,
>> we carry it like a badge of honor.
>>
>> In my own work, I can tell you that blineness makes many things hard 
>> which
>> others find easy. They see computer screens and what is wanted from them 
>> is
>> obvious. I hear computer screens and have to often work pretty hard to
>> figure out what is wanted and where I am on the screen. I can make a real
>> case for how disadvantaged this makes me, but the more important thing is
>> that I figure it out and be productive enough I can bring home a pay 
>> check.
>>
>> You talk about the country in which you were born. There may be better
>> countries in which to be blind, but I am certain the majority are worse. 
>> In
>> your country you have the opportunity to make a contract with our people.
>> That contract says that we, all of us, will help you with training and
>> equipment if, in return, you will try your hardest to take that equipment
>> and training and put it to a productive use - preferably a use which will
>> pay you. You will then pay taxes, buy a home, support your local 
>> businesses,
>> not to mention Wal-Mart, and everyone wins. Winning isn't easy, but it is
>> far easier than carrying around the anger for what you might have been if
>> only you had tried.
>>
>> Take your anger and, if you can, turn it into resolve. Look at your
>> situation, acknowledge there are disadvantages, and at the same time
>> determine how you can benefit from where you find yourself. If you
>> constantly live with the dream of driving the car you once had, you'll be
>> disappointed. If you live with the dream of the dcar which may come to be 
>> if
>> we who are blind work together, then your sadness may just become a tool 
>> for
>> hope.
>>
>> I wish you all the luck in the world, and where luck stops and personal
>> responsibility begins, I wish you the courage to take it on.
>>
>>
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