[Blindtlk] Inferiority complexwithdisabilityvsnondisabledsociety

Mon Jun 7 20:07:43 UTC 2010

Jessica, this is a fantastic message. It has the ability to change a life if 
taken seriously.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jessica Kostiw" <jessicac.kostiw at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, June 06, 2010 8:42 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority 
complexwithdisabilityvsnondisabledsociety


> Gary,  Your Email to Peter was phenomenal!!  I sincerely hope that all on 
> this list read it!  I suspect that Peter's frustrations and hopelessness 
> are far from isolated.  I, myself, lost my vision as a child.  There was 
> medical malpractice after a car accident.  To say that I didn't, and 
> sometimes still do, wonder what I might have become sighted would be a 
> lie.  To say that I don't struggle with jealousy towards my sighted 
> sibblings would be a lie, but though life has completely smacked you in 
> the face, it is completely up to you whether you survive or begin to 
> really live again.
>
> Peter, in your Email you asked for someone from the streets to respond.  I 
> see where you were going with that, but in so many ways where you came 
> from does not and will not define where you go!  People who were born with 
> it all sometimes destroy their lives, while others that society deemed a 
> hopeless cause become success stories.  I often wonder what makes someone 
> learn how to live.  Life is not easy.  Sometimes it plain sucks!!  I wish 
> I could tell you the magic answer.  All I can say is that in my own life 
> it is prayer on even the daily mundane tasks, support from others in the 
> NFB, and training in Louisiana that have gotten me where I am at.  In a 
> previous message I know someone mentioned attending a training center.  I 
> hope you didn't just brush it off.  NFB training centers are so much more 
> than the skills.  They are six to nine months of blind people who 
> understand fully the struggles and challenges of being blind, but who have 
> acquired alternative techniques to live fulfilling lives.  It is your own 
> implementation of these techniques that builds confidence!  The NFB 
> maintains that blindness is not a tragedy; well I am sorry to say that for 
> me it was.  The thing is Peter, I have learned that I am not going to let 
> my past consume my future!  Peter, I am nothing special.  I am gainfully 
> employed; I have loving friends, family, and boyfriend; life may not look 
> the way I planned it would look, but I am happy.
>
> Thank you for having the courage to write,
> Jessica
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Dewey Bradley" <dewey.bradley at att.net>
> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 1:39 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex 
> withdisabilityvsnondisabledsociety
>
>
>> Garry makes some very good points indeed.
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at icrc.IN.gov>
>> To: "'Gary Wunder'" <gwunder at earthlink.net>; "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" 
>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 12:04 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with 
>> disabilityvsnondisabledsociety
>>
>>
>>> Peter,
>>>
>>> Gary makes some very good points here as well. It would simply be untrue 
>>> for me to tell you that there are no advantages to being sighted, or 
>>> disadvantages to being blind. Just as there are advantages to having 
>>> money, v. not  having as much. If Bill Gates decides that he wants to 
>>> order a pizza on a Friday night for dinner, he doesn't have to stop and 
>>> think about whether or not he can afford it the way that I do.
>>>
>>> The point is though, that there are ways around most of these things. We 
>>> find those ways, most of them are not insurmountable,  and we lead 
>>> productive and full lives.
>>>
>>>
>>> Diane Graves
>>> Civil Rights Specialist
>>> Indiana Civil Rights Commission
>>> Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
>>> 317-232-2647
>>>
>>> "It is service that measures success."
>>> George Washington Carver
>>>
>>> Confidentiality Notice: This E-mail transmission may contain 
>>> confidential and/or legally privileged information intended only for the 
>>> individual or entity(ies)
>>> named in the E-mail address. If you are not the intended recipient, be 
>>> advised that any unauthorized disclosure, copying, distribution, or 
>>> acting in reliance
>>> upon the contents of this E-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have 
>>> received this E-mail transmission in error, please reply to sender to 
>>> arrange for the return and proper delivery of the transmission. 
>>> Subsequently, delete the message from your system immediately.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
>>> On Behalf Of Gary Wunder
>>> Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2010 12:25 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with disability vs 
>>> nondisabledsociety
>>>
>>> Peter, you have asked many questions and I am certain in one sitting I 
>>> can't
>>> begin to response to them all. Even this assumes I know all the answers,
>>> which I most certainly do not.
>>>
>>> I throw out these ideas and observations with the suggestion that you 
>>> take
>>> what you like and leave the rest. It does no good to compare yourself 
>>> with
>>> what you might have been. In the first place, you don't know what you 
>>> might
>>> have been. I might be angry because my Dad was the owner of a successful
>>> construction business which I could have run and might be far better off
>>> financially than I am now. Without sight, I can't run the heavy 
>>> equipment so
>>> perhaps I should be angry. Because I am blind, I traveled a different 
>>> road,
>>> went to college, got a degree, and work as a computer programmer. That
>>> college experience introduced me to good books, to different thoughts 
>>> about
>>> the world, and to a tolerance of other people I'd never have gotten had 
>>> I
>>> stayed at home. Which life is the better? Unfortunately this is a 
>>> question
>>> without an answer. I have to make of my life what is possible, without
>>> spending too much time grieving about some alternative future.
>>> In your note you acknowledge a lot of problems. Acknowledging one has a
>>> problem is often the first step on the road to solving it, but sometimes
>>> that acknowledgement is simply a way of stating the problem and the more 
>>> we
>>> state it, the more we come to like the way we say it. We grow accustomed 
>>> to
>>> the burden of that problem, and rather than using our admission to solve 
>>> it,
>>> we carry it like a badge of honor.
>>>
>>> In my own work, I can tell you that blineness makes many things hard 
>>> which
>>> others find easy. They see computer screens and what is wanted from them 
>>> is
>>> obvious. I hear computer screens and have to often work pretty hard to
>>> figure out what is wanted and where I am on the screen. I can make a 
>>> real
>>> case for how disadvantaged this makes me, but the more important thing 
>>> is
>>> that I figure it out and be productive enough I can bring home a pay 
>>> check.
>>>
>>> You talk about the country in which you were born. There may be better
>>> countries in which to be blind, but I am certain the majority are worse. 
>>> In
>>> your country you have the opportunity to make a contract with our 
>>> people.
>>> That contract says that we, all of us, will help you with training and
>>> equipment if, in return, you will try your hardest to take that 
>>> equipment
>>> and training and put it to a productive use - preferably a use which 
>>> will
>>> pay you. You will then pay taxes, buy a home, support your local 
>>> businesses,
>>> not to mention Wal-Mart, and everyone wins. Winning isn't easy, but it 
>>> is
>>> far easier than carrying around the anger for what you might have been 
>>> if
>>> only you had tried.
>>>
>>> Take your anger and, if you can, turn it into resolve. Look at your
>>> situation, acknowledge there are disadvantages, and at the same time
>>> determine how you can benefit from where you find yourself. If you
>>> constantly live with the dream of driving the car you once had, you'll 
>>> be
>>> disappointed. If you live with the dream of the dcar which may come to 
>>> be if
>>> we who are blind work together, then your sadness may just become a tool 
>>> for
>>> hope.
>>>
>>> I wish you all the luck in the world, and where luck stops and personal
>>> responsibility begins, I wish you the courage to take it on.
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>>
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>
>
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