[Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with Disabilities

Thu Jun 10 19:05:47 UTC 2010

Hi NFBers,

Mari Hunziker here, I appreciate all the information and suggestions that
Gary, and the others have given me. I contacted TxDOT and finally got a hold
of the gentleman in charge. My crosswalks will be installed in September. He
said that they are going to be doing some remodeling of the streets around
my neighborhood. I am so excited. I never realized how rural my neighborhood
was until I was stripped of the transportation access system. Its been about
3 years and boy does time fly. I don't ever cross the major streets
especially after I've had my kids. I usually get rides to places I need to
go. And if I don't have a ride I don't go especially if it is a place
further than the things in my side of the neighborhood. The gentleman at
TxDOT also told me that they will be building a grocery store close by. So I
will definitely want to learn the route to walk their from my home. I
apologize for not writing sooner and if this sounds a bit like I'm rambling.
I just have a few minutes to send this.
I have decided in reading all the comments and suggestions, that It would
greatly benefit my life, my children, and my husband if I met more blind
people. Can anyone tell me where and when the chapter meetings are for
Austin TX. I believe that would be the closest city that should have a
chapter. I also feel that with some of my experiences I could be an asset to
this organization. Thank you so much. I better go for now. My kids are
running a muck. Talk soon.

Thank you so much,
Mari Hunziker
DRT Knowbility's Access Works
http://www.knowbility.org

On Thu, Jun 10, 2010 at 10:09 AM, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:

> Jessica:
>
> I think one reason more of us do not discuss where we struggle and how we
> do things is that we have absorbed and internalized the NFB philosophy to
> the extent that we really don't think what we do is out-of-the-ordinary and
> therefore don't pay much attention to it and describe it publicly. Moreover,
> if we truly have internalized NFB philosophy, I suspect there's a bias
> against general informing or, nay, bragging because by saying "Whoopy-do!
> Look what I'm doing!", we negate the very thing we're trying to espouse in
> that we are, in effect, saying, isn't it a miracle that I can do X! I don't
> think there is much reluctance (this thread is an example) to discuss how we
> do a specific thing, assuming we even notice. And as for things we struggle
> with, I can't speak for everyone but, frankly, I don't think about them
> much. Why? Because I have either found ways around the difficulties or have
> just chalked it up to my lack of capacity in some area rather than bemoaning
> my lack in terms of sight loss. In other words, I put the inconveniences of
> blindness on a similar footing to not being tall, being unable to knit or
> not being twenty anymore (not that this is always a handicap -- I have a lot
> more money than I did when I was twenty!). Please reread Dr. Jernigan's
> essay: "Blindness: Handicap or Characteristic".
>
> Besides, who wants to listen to a complainer? If I say: "O ain't it awful!"
> what have I accomplished? I know the saying goes that misery loves company
> but usually said company is rather short-lived. Besides, don't you believe
> that sighted persons have lacks and losses and wish that they could do
> things they can't? If that's so, they aren't human.
>
> The bottom line is that some of us are attempting to live the Federation
> mantra that blindness is a characteristic like any other and we at least try
> to not put the nuisance of blindness on a pedestal.
>
> Now a word to Mary: you say that you are a burden to your husband and
> others. Have you asked them? And if they said "yes", did you ask them
> whether there were other aspects of you that so stood out that they are your
> friends or married you (in the case of your husband) anyway? And don't you
> think that there are aspects to *any* spousal relationship that irritate the
> heck out of the other partner? Again, any relationship that doesn't at least
> occasionally exhibit this characteristic isn't human.
>
> I know right now you are feeling the lack of easily-obtainable
> transportation acutely. I sympathize. But how is this different from, say, a
> person of modest means who works in, say,     Los Angeles, and must buy a
> house over two hours away by automobile because he/she can't afford the real
> estate prices in L.A. proper? To my mind, there is no difference unless you
> choose to put blindness up on a special pedestal as I wrote about above,
> saying, in effect: "Were I not blind, all would be sweetness and light and
> all my difficulties would melt away". If you think about this objectively,
> however, you will have to admit that you don't really *know* this as you are
> positing a condition that is not real and if you can change one thing in
> your imagination, nothing else is off the table for change, either, so while
> you might be less of a "burden" viz a viz transportation as a sighted
> person, how do you know that something *else* might have changed in your
> rearrangement of life that would also be adverse to what you consider your
> well-being?
>
> So sit back, fix what you can and enjoy the ride of life!
>
> Mike Freeman, President
> NFB of Washington
>
> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Jessica Kostiw" <
> jessicac.kostiw at gmail.com>
>
> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 09, 2010 6:07 PM
>
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with Disabilities
>
>
>  Gary,
>> Not to give you an ego, but that was another spectacular message!  I know
>> you were talking to Mary, but I must say that the part about volunteers
>> really spoke to me.  May I ask through what avenues did you use to find
>> these volunteers?  I am in great need of a driver.  I have talked to every
>> blind person in my area until I am blue in the face (and they are asleep)
>> about how they recommend finding a driver.  The last driver I found was off
>> Craigslist.  He was nuts... and I am pretty sure he had a record.  I hired
>> him for four days, he was over an hour late two of the days, and I fired him
>> on the third day.
>>
>> Can I just say to all on this list, that I have sincerely enjoyed the
>> openness of this thread.  Being blind is not the end of the world; you can
>> still lead happy and productive lives, but sometimes it really can be
>> difficult.  There are so many incredible people in the federation, doctors,
>> lawyers, teachers, but none of us are perfect.  We all have doubts and fears
>> sometimes.  I hope I don't get shot for saying this, but sometimes I wish we
>> were all more open about how we do things and even where we struggle.  I
>> think that would help each of us grow a little more. Does that make any
>> sense?
>>
>> Jessica
>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Gary Wunder" <gwunder at earthlink.net>
>> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, June 07, 2010 3:05 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Inferiority complex with Disabilities
>>
>>
>>  Hi Mari. You have asked me for advice, but probably the best I can do is
>>> give you some thoughts. Whether they end up being good advice you will have
>>> to decide. If I try to give you advice, not only may it not be on target,
>>> but I may go into my preaching mode rather than my offering experience mode,
>>> and I'm much more comfortable with the latter. If I try to deal with your
>>> letter point by point, don't get the idea that I'm arguing with you. Neither
>>> of us have anything to gain from that.
>>>
>>> You start by saying that you are a burden to your friends, husband and
>>> family. This may be so, but it doesn't have to be. There are many ways to
>>> set up relationships with volunteers which are mutually beneficial. One
>>> volunteer who works for me is 27 years old. She has gone through some rocky
>>> times in her life, and has rebuilt it so that she now is employed in a very
>>> responsible job. Her help to me is that she drives and sometimes does some
>>> reading. My help to her is to be a listening ear when she finds things
>>> difficult, and to convince her that the place she wants to occupy in the
>>> world is indeed occupied by others, namely me and my family. I let her know
>>> that the world presents an uphill struggle not just to her but to each and
>>> everyone of us who face our own kind of adversity.
>>>
>>> Another volunteer is several years past retirement. Her husband died more
>>> than 10 years ago. She is, without a doubt, a very lonely person, and she
>>> likes our sessions because not only do we read, and go places, but we visit,
>>> I listen to her talk about her children, about people she loves who have
>>> died, about where she and her husband first went on a date, and once in a
>>> great while we go out to eat because one of her common complaints as a
>>> person who lives by herself is that meal preparation just isn't any fun when
>>> you eat alone. Now, I don't want you to get the idea that I'm one of these
>>> folks who say "I'm going to let you help me with this or that thing," as
>>> though I'm really the one doing the favor, but I do want to say that I
>>> believe the street runs both ways and that there is good to be done both
>>> when you give a gift and when you receive it. This is the kind of
>>> relationship I try to build with volunteers, for the truth is that I'm not
>>> sure I could do it if I really thought of it strictly as a burden. This
>>> probably means expanding your core circle of friends and volunteers beyond
>>> friends and family. It probably means figuring out a way to meet new people,
>>> and in so doing to gently convey the message that blind people, while we
>>> have some special needs, are truly human beings in the full sense of the
>>> word - not just people who have needs, but people who have the ability to
>>> help others meet theirs.
>>>
>>> Others have suggested to you that you look at your own mobility skills
>>> and see whether they might be improved. It may be that you simply live in
>>> such a pedestrian unfriendly area that it wouldn't matter what kind of
>>> skills you brought to the task. Since you can obviously convey your
>>> heartfelt feelings, this may be a good time to write a letter to the editor
>>> in hopes of getting it published. If you are lucky enough to live in a
>>> community which still has local talk radio shows, this may be a good way to
>>> advertise the need for a pedestrian button at the location where you want to
>>> cross. I think if I were you, I would work at going to some civic
>>> organizations with the same message, asking them to join in putting pressure
>>> on the city council and the mayor to help you. Lastly, I would work with
>>> your local chapter of the national Federation of the blind to make this one
>>> of the chapters goals. You and other members can go before your city
>>> council, can set up a meeting with the mayor, and can make the case for a
>>> pedestrian button.
>>>
>>> In a different post you ask why the NFB is opposed to audible signals. It
>>> isn't quite true to say that we are opposed to them, but that we are opposed
>>> to the requirement that they be placed everywhere, and that we believe the
>>> type of audible signal used to be very important. There is little reason to
>>> have an audible signal where the flow of traffic makes it perfectly clear
>>> which direction the light is allowing people to travel. The type of audible
>>> signal used is very important, because some of the designers have not worked
>>> with blind folks, and their signals are much too long, much too loud, and
>>> actually keep us from hearing the traffic. Although you want to know what
>>> color the light is, what is really of more importance to you is whether or
>>> not you're about to step out in front of a vehicle. If, as is the case on
>>> some street corners in Kansas City, the audible traffic signal is a 5 second
>>> buzzer which is so loud that it obscures the sound of everything around it,
>>> then it is more a hindrance than a help. The designers of that signal did
>>> not take into account your need to hear the flow of traffic, and by lasting
>>> as long as it does, the audible signal actually takes away 5 seconds you
>>> would have in which to begin crossing the street. This can be crucial in
>>> areas where traffic flow is heavy and the time allowed for crossing is
>>> minimal.
>>>
>>> We favor Vibro-tactile signals which not only serve to meet the needs of
>>> blind people, but of deaf blind people as well. The frequency of the sound
>>> they emit does not travel so far that it inconveniences neighbors and
>>> businesses in the area, and it does not obscure the sound of traffic.
>>>
>>> Mari, none of the things I've suggested you work on will bring about
>>> immediate results, but if I were to rank order them, I would suggest that
>>> the first thing you work on is how you feel about the help you need, and
>>> your ability to make a contribution to others who need help. We are always
>>> taught how important it is to be independent, and my suggestion to you is
>>> that it is equally important to learn how to be interdependent.
>>>
>>> Warmly,
>>>
>>> Gary
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>
>>
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