[Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like

james sofka jamessofka at att.net
Tue Mar 2 03:01:59 UTC 2010 

Hi, Connie.
I think we went to school together.
Write me off  list.
jamessofka at att.net


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Constance Canode" <satin-bear at sbcglobal.net>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, March 01, 2010 12:17 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like


> There are instances when touching a face is okay.  For example, when you 
> want to comfort a child you stroke their forehead or cheek and of course 
> your significant other, but never, never in a public setting with someone 
> with whom you are not imtimate.  I touch my husband's face all the time, 
> not because I want to see what he looks like because that just doesn't 
> work.  A face is just a face with all of the usual parts, but because he 
> has an incredible beard...smile and is incredibly handsome.
>
> Connie Canode
>
>
> Connie Canode
> At 09:06 PM 2/28/2010, you wrote:
>>Well, for that matter, my Sarah says I can touch her face all I want to. 
>>She loves me bringing her a nice hot cup of coffee every morning and 
>>having her feet rubbed as much as possible.  but, Homberto, remember, 
>>Gary, others and I are talking about settings of a more intimate nature 
>>where such things are more than welcome.  What confuses me about your 
>>messages is that there seems to be an insecurity that I can't quite put a 
>>finger on.  YOu say you're not negative about your blindness; and yet, 
>>frankly, I think maybe you're more negative than you consciously realize. 
>>but, after all, that's why we're hear.
>>
>>
>>Sincerely,
>>The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>>
>>Now a Mac user!!!
>>
>>e-mail:
>>rforetjr at comcast dot net
>>
>>Skype:
>>barefootedray
>>
>>On Feb 28, 2010, at 6:20 PM, Gary Wunder wrote:
>>
>> > I touch faces - my lips with my wife's lips!
>> >
>> >
>> > ----- Original Message ----- From: "Michelle Medina"
>> <michellem86 at gmail.com>
>> > To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> > Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2010 4:00 PM
>> > Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like
>> >
>> >
>> >> I do touch faces, but never ever without asking permission first.
>> >>
>> >> On 2/27/10, Steve P. Deeley <stevep.deeley at insightbb.com> wrote:
>> >>>
>> >>> You ever heard of socialization skills?  This is what is needed in 
>> >>> this
>> >>> case.
>> >>> ----- Original Message -----
>> >>> From: "Cindy Handel" <cindy425 at verizon.net>
>> >>> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> >>> Sent: Saturday, February 27, 2010 8:19 AM
>> >>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like
>> >>>
>> >>>
>> >>>> I was able to see a very little bit when I was a child.  But,
>> I was never
>> >>>> able to see enough to identify faces.  So, that really isn't
>> important to
>> >>>> me.  I agree with Connie and others; you can tell a lot more about a
>> >>>> person
>> >>>> from their voice and the way they treat you than by their
>> appearance. You
>> >>>> can ask someone what they look like, and you may learn that she's 
>> >>>> pretty
>> >>>> or
>> >>>> what color hair and eyes she has.  But, at least for me, the way 
>> >>>> their
>> >>>> face
>> >>>> looks doesn't matter.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> I once had a guy insist that I feel his face.  I didn't want to and
>> >>>> resisted.  But, he was quite persistent and I did.  It didn't
>> really give
>> >>>> me
>> >>>> any information than I already knew...he had two eyes, a nose, mouth 
>> >>>> and
>> >>>> other facial features.  But, I didn't know any more about what he 
>> >>>> looked
>> >>>> like after than I did before touching his face.  So, it did nothing 
>> >>>> for
>> >>>> me.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> The other day, a friend asked me what I thought someone looked like. 
>> >>>> I
>> >>>> told
>> >>>> her that I really didn't know.  I just don't think about people's
>> >>>> appearance; at least not in detail.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> Cindy
>> >>>> ----- Original Message -----
>> >>>> From: "Constance Canode" <satin-bear at sbcglobal.net>
>> >>>> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> >>>> Sent: Friday, February 26, 2010 11:49 PM
>> >>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Questions concerning how people look like
>> >>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>> I have been blind all of my life and learned at a very early age 
>> >>>> that
>> >>>> you should always turn and look at the person you are speaking to. 
>> >>>> I
>> >>>> have gotten to the point that if someone speaks to me and doesn't
>> >>>> look at me directly, it is hard to tell he/she is speaking to,
>> >>>> especially in a large group of people.  As for touching faces, I
>> >>>> scream in horror at the mere thought of it.  As a woman, I would not
>> >>>> like it done to me because it would mess up my makeup and just think
>> >>>> of the hygieneic aspects.  I also hate the stereotype attached to 
>> >>>> the
>> >>>> face touching from some very stupid movies.  Asforfinding out what a
>> >>>> person physically looks like, sometimes it can be done if you are
>> >>>> standing next to them or walking beside them.  You can tell if they
>> >>>> are tall or short, fat or thin.  Hair is a little difficult, but
>> >>>> occasionally if a person has very long hair, as I do, occasionally 
>> >>>> it
>> >>>> can blow up against you, or if you are in a store and the person
>> >>>> bends over to reach something on a low shelf, if the hair is long
>> >>>> enough, it may also brush your hand.  I notice this all the time in
>> >>>> stores because my husband has long hair also.  You can hear a smile
>> >>>> in a voice and itis easy to tell when laughter and a smile is
>> >>>> genuine.  If a person has a nice voice and speaks to you in a
>> >>>> pleasant manner, there is a good chance they don't look like
>> >>>> something out of a horror film, although voices can also be
>> >>>> deceiving.  Good luck.  I doubt if I have been of much help,
>> but I tried.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> Connie Canode
>> >>>> At 07:50 PM 2/25/2010, you wrote:
>> >>>>> TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>    I'm very sure everyone in this mailing list is blind. Maybe
>> >>>>> some of you are not. And well, I have a curiosity, or a question,
>> >>>>> that maybe you can answer for me and if it is not that 
>> >>>>> intimidating:
>> >>>>>    As you know, sighted people tend to look at each other's face,
>> >>>>> or perhaps most of the body movements and the hands, while they're
>> >>>>> talking to each other. For example, when somebody is talking and
>> >>>>> facing another person, that person faces that other person, and he
>> >>>>> or she can look at the person's face. In addition, this does not
>> >>>>> happen when they are talking only; the person can just look at that
>> >>>>> other person, E.G. a boy says "hello" to a girl perhaps, and he
>> >>>>> looks at her because she is pretty (or she perhaps isn't) and he
>> >>>>> looks at her smile and he knows what she looks like. He can maybe
>> >>>>> remember her just through all those details of her. Furthermore,
>> >>>>> there are more case-scenarios out there that are very similar to 
>> >>>>> this
>> >>>>> one.
>> >>>>>    While sighted people do this, as far as blind people are
>> >>>>> concerned, is there any way a blind person can do the same things
>> >>>>> just like the sighted? Can a blind person tell how someone looks
>> >>>>> like by some technique or some information? If I want to know how
>> >>>>> someone looks like, what can I do? Sometimes I think that probably
>> >>>>> by touching faces I can get a general detail of what he/she is
>> >>>>> like, but some people may see this as an offensive thing. I have
>> >>>>> just a little bit of vision (mostly out of the corner of my right
>> >>>>> eye), but I cannot see well enough to see these things. I can only
>> >>>>> see very close objects or people. But anyways, if, for example, I
>> >>>>> meet a nice girl and she says hello to me, and she carries out a
>> >>>>> conversation with me. How can I get the physical description of
>> >>>>> her? How do I know if she is just smiling without laughing? How do
>> >>>>> I know what her hair looks like? maybe she has a pointy nose, a
>> >>>>> big/small mouth, and probably really all straight and white teeth!
>> >>>>> How can I know these things? I could perhaps ask her, "What do you
>> >>>>> look like?" but I've had bad experiences asking that question,
>> >>>>> although some people are kind and they tell me. Again, I don't see
>> >>>>> any bad thing by touching people's faces, however, I'm not sure if
>> >>>>> I should totally do it because of an offense or just being
>> disrespectful.
>> >>>>>    I am asking this question just for curiosity, and I'd like to
>> >>>>> see what you think about this. Any feedback and comments about this
>> >>>>> topic are welcome. I'd like to find out what other blind people
>> >>>>> have done to accomplish well this situation.
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> Thank you and have a very lucky day!
>> >>>>>
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>> >>>>
>> >>>>
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