[Blindtlk] Blindness Misperceptions from kids

[Graves, Diane]

Hi Humberto,

Well, I have had many similar experiences. When I was a child I was attending a picnic with my family one day in a park and several kids began throwing rocks at me until my father intervened. I recall an incident where another boy who attended our church asked my sister, "how can your sister be so smart, and she is blind?" I think this was definitely an inherited perception, something he had heard his parents say. I remember when I was in high school, a friend of mine was walking down the street in her neighborhood, and some kids put some logs in her way, presumably either hoping to entertain themselves by her fall, or wanting to see whether she would maneuver around the logs. Her mom saw what the kids had done, and neither of these possibilities occurred. So, all that to say that I understand what you have experienced.

You certainly don't have to accept anyone else's intentional cruelty be they child or adult, and you aren't going to have time to talk with every kid you pass while walking down the street. But if you have a child who really wants to know, I would say you should seize the opportunity to teach them. If you meet up with a child who says "why do you have a stick in your hand," you might say: "This isn't a stick, this is my white cane and, because I can't see, it helps me find my way." If they want to know how you manage other tasks, you should explain to them that, even though you are blind, you have other senses that work just as well. 

In my case, since I had retinoblastoma, I usually tell the kids that I was very sick, and that is what caused my blindness, but I am not sick any more. You can't preach to them about positive attitudes, you have to bring things down to their level.

Believe me, I get extremely impatient and irritated with the ignorance I meet with in the adult population every single day, and, though I am not proud to admit it, I'm not always very nice about it. By the time someone reaches adulthood, I sort of expect them to have some common sense, and, even if they don't know how we accomplish everything, there are enough of us around that they should know that we can be productive citizens. But the kids on the other hand, really don't know any better, and if we have the opportunity to set them straight and teach them when they are absorbing information like little sponges, we really shouldn't pass up the opportunity. If they are seeking to understand, we should jump on that. 

Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647
 
"It is service that measures success."
George Washington Carver
 
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-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of humberto
Sent: Tuesday, April 26, 2011 11:11 PM
To: blindTlk at nfbNet.org
Subject: [Blindtlk] Blindness Misperceptions from kids

Hi dear listers:

Some time ago, somebody in here posted a really really 
interesting message with an interesting question that caused 
threads that hit the list with high fever and great discussions.
Today I'm here to ask you another question and to share my 
opinions. My concerns deal with the statement written in the 
subject line, blindness misperceptions coming out of children.
First of all, I have found an essay that was really interesting 
that someone posted on the National Students Division (Nabs) 
mailing list, that explains that adults have these outdated 
negative views about blindness, and kids have better views about 
it than adults, especially when they were raised or growing 
around blind people.
This person explained that her nephews had a more positive 
attitude around her and that they thought she was cool and could 
do everything by herself. They even think that it's not such a 
big deal being blind.
In my personal experience, this is not true. Often kids, when I'm 
walking by, think I am weird and ask me a whole bunch of 
questions that I don't know even how to respond to. Some kids 
think I can not walk, and some even say my disability (blindness) 
is an illness, which makes me upset and wanting to advocate them 
and their parents. One day when I was living in California, I 
went to a social gathering with my family and one of their 
friends had two kids. I was sitting down and I had my wonderful 
trusty white cane folded with me at the side, and one girl asked 
"Why is he carrying those four sticks, and why are there for?" Of 
course she asked her mom but we quickly told her what it was and 
what it was used for. At the time I didn't know anything about 
NFB philosophies and my blindness philosophy was not the one that 
it is now, so my Mom had to explain everything.
But now, when I'm walking down the street or even doing something 
that other people would do regularly, kids still ask me "Why the 
heck you have a stick in your hand?" Some other kids will just 
stare at me like non-sense and run away. Some others will talk, 
but yes according to myself, they would talk to themselves 
because I don't know if they are talking to me until I tell them 
"Are you talking to me?" And yet, when I was little, one day one 
kid even tried to hit me with a small rock, because of no reason, 
or maybe just because of a sign of disrespect toward people with 
disabilities, and even more, blind people. (or that is what I 
think now.)
The problem with kids, I suppose, from my personal experiences, 
is that their parents inherit those misperceptions of blindness 
into them and / or the kids get them from other people, or 
they've never been around blind people before or something. I can 
understand how they have never been around people who are blind 
before, but the parents issue is what gets me straight the most. 
Yet I don't even have the right time to advocate these kids in a 
diplomatic way patience being one of the factors. But the times I 
try to educate them about my blindness and being just a regular 
person, I don't know how to start engaging them, and they keep 
asking dumb questions.
Any opinions on how to say to them about positive attitudes of 
blindness, or how to diplomatically explain them? Have you had 
any similar experiences? Any stories you want to share? Any more 
concerns or issues? Any help is appreciated please.

Cheers, Humberto

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