[Blindtlk] To Cane or Not To Cane?

Mon Feb 28 15:05:21 UTC 2011

Jessica,

Learning to travel independently takes practice and while one is learning, I think it is really important to travel completely independently.  I assume, though, 
that you have already done that from what you have said.

For whatever reason, I have always found it difficult to travel independently but still keep track of another person, particularly when there are other sounds 
to get in the way.  It doesn't really matter to me if they are blind or sighted.  Therefore, even when I am trying to walk and carry on a conversation with 
another blind person, I will often take their arm or have them take mine.  However, whether I am walking with a sighted or blind person, I continue to use my 
cane and take responsibility for my own safety.  I don't depend upon them to notify me of curbs or steps.  This also permits me to walk next to them.  In other 
words, my reason for taking their arm is not so much to be guided as to simply avoid the problems I have following.  Particularly with another blind person, I 
find that it is easy for our paths to cross or to diverge as we are walking as we both concentrate on our routes.

I have also found, though, that if I walk with someone, I just don't keep as close track of where I am even when using a cane.  I find that I learn an area 
best when I am walking alone.  There are also times when a walkway becomes narrow when it is easiest to walk along and then rejoin whomever I am 
walking with after the walkway is wider again.  

You are dealing with a situation that isn't always easy.  There are sometimes motivations that go deeper than the surface of which we have to be aware.  A 
parent or even a sighted partner may well be embarrassed or frustrated by constantly having to talk so we know where they are, and even if they were to 
wear something that makes a sound, conversation might be difficult.  Yet, there is sometimes an issue of control involved, too, and watching for that is also 
important.  One has to figure out who they are and how they are most comfortable relating with the world.  Traveling under sleepshades will help your 
boyfriend understand the mechanics, but it won't help him understand some of the struggles we all undergo to be independent.  He will probably understand 
less why you don't just take his hand.  Maybe taking his hand and using a cane can be a good compromise if framed correctly.  Don't let it diminish your 
independence, though.  If you have a lot of close sighted friends, it would be easy to let the act of taking an arm also erode your hard-won travel skills.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Sun, 27 Feb 2011 15:41:25 -0600, Jessica Kostiw wrote:

>Hello List,
>	This is Jessica Kostiw.  I have been on this list for quite a while,
>but do not post very often.  I am hoping to get some good advice on an issue
>that I am sure we have all faced.

>I am a Louisiana Center for the Blind graduate, and well appreciate the
>important of the travel skills I acquired there.  
>If you are like me though, the significant majority of your time is spent
>with other sighted people.  My longtime boyfriend Jon is sighted.  He has
>actually purchased a cane from the NFB and wants to go under sleep shades to
>see what it is like.  The thing is on the one hand he is very supportive,
>but more and more when we are together in a store or something would very
>much rather that I just take his hand.  He says it's quicker and makes more
>sense, but I want to be able to be independent.  I don't see why he can't
>just walk by me and give me directions or something.  When we do that
>though, he says he feels like he is just calling a dog.  He may as well ring
>a cowbell.  He can't keep up chatter all the time and becomes harder for me
>to follow.  People give dirty looks like "why isn't that guy helping that
>blind lady?"  Part of me understands what he is saying, I have heard the
>same arguments from my mom.  My sister is so impatient and always just
>insists that I take her elbow.  I live in Virginia.  There is no public
>transportation where I live, and I am concerned that always being around
>sighted people with this attitude will eventually cause me to lose my
>skills.  This Email is focusing on the situation with Jon only because I am
>concerned about our future.  We are definitely working towards marriage and
>children and all that and I don't want to feel like I am completely
>dependent on my husband and can't equally contribute when we take any future
>children out in public.  We have already agreed that we will live in an area
>with good public transportation so I won't feel dependent and can do things
>on my own, but again what about when we are together?   Do I have to
>sacrifice my independence to make it easier on him?  

>Any incite would be greatly appreciated!!
>Jessica
>-----Original Message-----
>From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>Behalf Of Chris Judd
>Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2011 2:31 AM
>To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws

>I tried accessing the facebook lite site, and it worked.
>http://lite.facebook.com
>----- Original Message ----- 
>From: "Bonnie Lucas" <lucas.bonnie at gmail.com>
>To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2011 12:47 AM
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws

>Not sure what has happened but we discovered the same thing today as well.
>Perhaps it is something that will be fixed soon. My daughter and I tried
>everything to get it to let us click on things but it would not. Not sure
>what's up!
>Bonnie

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>Behalf Of humberto
>Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 7:35 PM
>To: gui-talk at nfbnet.org; nfbcs at nfbnet.org
>Cc: blindTlk at nfbnet.org
>Subject: [Blindtlk] [PM] Facebook with jaws

>---- Original Message ------
>From: Michelle Abadia <michelle.abadia at verizon.net
>Subject: [PM] Facebook with jaws
>Date sent: Wed, 09 Feb 2011 06:40:45 -0500

>Hi.

>I apologize for the unrelated topic.
>I've been using Facebook successfully on my windows 7 laptop,
>using (www.m.facebook.com), which I think our litt moderator
>suggested because (www.facebook.com) wasn't very accessible with
>jaws.
>This morning, I come to find that now, m.facebook.com isn't
>accessible either! Everything is preceeded by "same page link",
>and when I click on something or try to write a message, the
>system won't let me. This happened overnight, because I was able
>to work on Facebook just 24 hours ago.

>Could someone please give me some assistance with this off list
>at
>Michelle.abadia at verizon.net
>?

>Thanks so much in advance.

>Michelle Abadia
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