[Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone less who is blind feels like I do

[Jessica Kostiw]

Dana,
First, like everyone has said, your X-husband sounds like a complete dirt
bag!  You and I have sort of crossed paths over the years, and from what I
recall it sounds like you are better off without him.  
As far as the dating cites are concerned, after reading your post one
question jumps out in my mind.  In your profiles, do you state right out
that you are blind?  If so, how much of a focus is it?  The stereo types you
stated are unfortunately true, but I do not think they are as across the
board as you may think.  A little over a year and a half ago I met my
boyfriend Jon on Match.com.  At the time I distinctly recall toying with
whether or not to state anything on the page about my blindness.  My family
said I should, after all I could immediately weed out the jerks.  Since many
people do prejudge, I elected not to.  I am not blind Jessica, I am Jessica
who happeneds to be blind.  To weed out jerks, I instead mentioned my being
a Christian and the church I belonged to.  The majority of my profile
focused on my interest in physical fitness, reading, and such.  With dating
sites you talk and email to a number of different people.  I wasn't on the
site to educate everyone and their brother on blindness.  Threw the
conversations and interaction I was able to weed out the guys that I really
didn't see any chemistry with.  I didn't tell all of them I was blind until
we developed a rapport.  By the time I did tell them, I had somewhat of an
idea of their character.  With Jon specifically, I remember slipping in that
the Labrador picture in my profile was actually my former guide dog.  


As I write, Jon is waiting for me to help him with some weeding, so I have
to wrap this up.  I have a lot to say on this issue though, and would be
happy to talk to you in more detail.  There are a few points that I would
like to make though before I close.  First, with all do respect, I am
wondering if the frustration and defeat that you expressed in your message
is also coming through in your dating interaction.  I joined match because
at the time I was working in a cubicle in an office with all married people.
(It is not a good idea to date people at work anyway.)  I went into it with
the attitude of possibly meeting someone to date, but also just to meet some
nice people and see where things go.  If nothing happened, I would have some
funny stories to tell friends.  I was on Match for two months when I started
talking to Jon.  Today, we are happier than ever.  We are an active regular
couple.  When I told him I was blind, he really didn't care.  It was like
"Okay, tell me if I offend you or you need anything....  let's go kayaking."


In closing, as the commercial states, one in every five couples today meets
on line.  Of course you have to be safe, but if you go in with decent
expectations how is it any different than walking into a bar and meeting
someone?  Just meet in a public place the first time you do meet and be sure
to have an escape route if the person is not who you thought.    

Happy Dating!
Jessica 


-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Dana
Sent: Sunday, July 03, 2011 12:01 AM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: [Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do

I honestly get so frustrated from time to time as I have tried every dating 
site I can think of on the internet, paid for them and most often sighted 
guys don't give me one second glance.
I have a college education and work full time as well which defies a lot of 
the statistics of the employment rate among the blind, and I can't seem to 
either find a  blind person who is as independent as myself or a sighted 
person who doesn't feel that blind people are in need of being taken care 
of.
I surefire wish there were something we all could do in all honesty to show 
the world that it is not a care taker we need it is an equal partner.
Dana

Follo me on twitter
 djkitty73
Windows live messenger ID and face book ID one in the same
dananolan at comcast.net
If you have skype add me
dana030973


_______________________________________________
blindtlk mailing list
blindtlk at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blindtlk:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/jessicac.kostiw%40
gmail.com