[Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do
Jeanette Fortin
jeanette at fortin-home.com
Sun Jul 3 19:30:35 UTC 2011
amen and amen. as a single mother i struggle with not enough time to date
even if i were to meet someone to date.
i feel like my age 55 is more of a hinderance to finding someone than my
blindness. i also feel that my strong desire for a Christian man rather
than just any man causes me to be more picky, i do not want a shallow
relationship with someone just so i am not alone.
i have a friend who just wants to be married because she hates being alone,
she will date anyone if she thinks there is a chance he is a possible
husband, very scary.
i think sometimes we really want a partner so badly we lose sight of the
fact that God has a perfect plan for us and we need to trust in His wisdom,
if His plan is for me to be alone, fine, if not fine. i have been in a
relationship with someone who is not a strong Christian and am glad to have
backed away from that, i would rather be alone than in an incomplete
situation.
dating is bad for everyone as i understand it, i have many friends who are
single and in their 50's, many have just given up for lack of desire to
wrestle their way through the mire of dating, feeling like t is a hopeless
venture. at this time i am feeling a bit that way, but my hope is in God.
jeanette
----- Original Message -----
From: "Charlotte Czarnecki" <charlotte.czarnecki at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, July 03, 2011 12:24 PM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do
> Hi, I would agree that while there are sighted people who do not feel as
> if they are in an equal realationship or they feel as if people concel
> them out because of a certain characterist like height, weight, facial
> features, etc, I strongly believe that blind people, especially women must
> work a thoughsand times harder to find a special someone. Blindness is
> perhaps the most feared disability in our world and sighted people will
> not totally associate themselves with what they are afraid of. Also, if
> you are as independent as myself, most sighted people are intimidated by
> that. They just can't comprehend that a blind person could manage a home
> and take care of herself. I have had a lifelong problem with dating and
> it's the lack there of. A lot of it is my blindness but a lot of it is my
> Catholic faith. I take what the Church teaches about relationships very
> seriously and because of that, I am very picky about men. A lot of men
> tend to hunger for a physical relationship rather than a godly
> relationship and we know that our Church discourages us from that. So, I
> will cancel out the men that merely seek me out for physical pleasure.
> There was a point in my life when I caved. I could have had a man who
> would have bought me anything in the world, showered me with anything I
> wanted. But his demand for his physical pleasure was too much.
> Fortunately, God called me back to reality. If I would have stayed or
> grew closer to him, I would have been trapped in his cage of manipulation.
> I strayed away from my focus on God. I cut him out and went to confession
> and the priest applauded my courage to step out of it. A friend once told
> me that when two people find each other for the purpose of marriage, they
> found each other because when they looked at one another, they saw God and
> not just the person within. Relationships should be created for the
> greater good of our world and not for our personal plesure. I mentioned
> the other day that one sad reali sadness. I sometimes blame it on my
> blindness but the reality is that it could be a lot of things, my
> personality, my shyness and not feeling like I can put myself out there,
> it could be anything. So, I sit here each day and I try to discern.
> Really, it's not what we want in this world, it's what God wants for us in
> this world. Would if God wants me to be single. Would if He in his
> infinite wisdom has been teaching me things all these years and would if
> something greater is to come in my singleness. I try to put my pain aside
> each day and pray to our Lord, saying, Lord, what is it you want of me. I
> need to put my wants aside. Maybe we, Dana are suppose to be single. We
> are doing a lot of great things in our lives. We should focus on what God
> wants us to do and not worry about what we want. Worrying and longing for
> what we want only is brining us pain and disappointment. And finally for
> now, I think of my blindness is just a characteristic and not something
> that will overtake my life. If people do not embrace this characteristic
> about me as they would height, weight or hair color, than they are welcome
> to move on. God made me the way I am for a special reason and he embraces
> me and all of my characteristics.
>
> Charlotte ty for me is that I always wanted to get married and have
> children. Well, I have about five to seven years left of the chance of
> bearing a child. I have never seriously dated anyone in my life. Partly
> it's because I'm so picky and partly it's because no man has really wanted
> to seriously date me except for the one who wanted only sex. This reality
> has brought me great
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Ray Foret Jr" <rforetjr at att.net>
> To: <gwunder at earthlink.net>; "Blind Talk Mailing List"
> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, July 03, 2011 1:00 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I
> do
>
>
>>I would add to that only this. With out mentioning names. I was in a
>>relationship with someone whom I thought had everything I could ever
>>desire; uh, or so I thought. Turned out I was wrong. That could have and
>>does happen to sighted folks as well. Yes, some sighted men won't date a
>>blind lady because they think she needs to be looked after. guess what,
>>some sighted women will not date a blind guy for the same reasons. I
>>think, to speak candidly, that perhaps you [Dana] might be over-amplifying
>>the blindness aspect of this just a little.
>>
>>
>> Sincerely,
>> The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>>
>> Now a very proud and happy Mac user!!!
>>
>> Skype name:
>> barefootedray
>>
>> Facebook:
>> facebook.com/ray.foretjr.1
>>
>>
>>
>> On Jul 3, 2011, at 12:35 PM, Gary Wunder wrote:
>>
>>> Hi Dana. Let's move away from blindness a moment and ask how many
>>> sighted
>>> folks find themselves in an equal relationship. I know many women who
>>> are
>>> happy but wish their spouse treated them as a real equal. I know men who
>>> don't think they are treated equally when it comes to being able to
>>> respect
>>> and articulate emotion or who do not feel they are treated as an equal
>>> in
>>> parenting.
>>>
>>> I am certain blindness complicates things in dating, but the fact so
>>> many of
>>> us have managed to find our partner is a testament to the fact it can
>>> happen. I am a lucky man--my spouse sees what she wants in me and
>>> therefore
>>> overlooks much that makes me less appealing.
>>>
>>> Warmly,
>>>
>>> Gary
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On
>>> Behalf Of Dana
>>> Sent: Saturday, July 02, 2011 11:01 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] I wonder if anyone elss who is blind feels like I do
>>>
>>> I honestly get so frustrated from time to time as I have tried every
>>> dating
>>> site I can think of on the internet, paid for them and most often
>>> sighted
>>> guys don't give me one second glance.
>>> I have a college education and work full time as well which defies a lot
>>> of
>>> the statistics of the employment rate among the blind, and I can't seem
>>> to
>>> either find a blind person who is as independent as myself or a sighted
>>> person who doesn't feel that blind people are in need of being taken
>>> care
>>> of.
>>> I surefire wish there were something we all could do in all honesty to
>>> show
>>> the world that it is not a care taker we need it is an equal partner.
>>> Dana
>>>
>>> Follo me on twitter
>>> djkitty73
>>> Windows live messenger ID and face book ID one in the same
>>> dananolan at comcast.net If you have skype add me
>>> dana030973
>>>
>>>
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>>
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>
>
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