[Blindtlk] the meaning of confidence

[Graves, Diane]

Julie,

This is so beautifully stated, and so very true. The really sad thing for many of us who didn't always get positive reinforcement as children, is that it is much, much harder to acquire as an adult. This is why it is so important to get a cane into the hand of a three-year-old, or get them reading Braille as soon as possible. We need to instill in them the knowledge that they need to be proud of who they are and not take a backseat to anyone. The more confidence they have as a child, the stronger that confidence will be in adulthood. Those of us who didn't get that really have to work hard to acquire and maintain it. I only wish I had half of the confidence that I see in the children who grow up in the federation.

I probably better clarify. I travel with a cane daily and am employed in the mainstream as most of you know.  I manage a home, and have a family. But, as Julie said, confidence is an inner feeling. I fight for and advocate equality, and hold fast to the NFB philosophy. But do I always feel secure and equal? Do I always have that sense of inner confidence. No, and there is nothing that can give me that. I have to develop it on my own.
 
Diane Graves
Civil Rights Specialist
Indiana Civil Rights Commission
Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
317-232-2647
 
"It is service that measures success."
George Washington Carver
 
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-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Julie J
Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2011 9:03 AM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: [Blindtlk] the meaning of confidence

I've noticed that often we toss out the word "confidence" in our discussions, but I often wonder what exactly is "confidence"?

I've read promotional material for guide dog schools that tell you if you get a guide dog you'll increase your confidence and independence.  I've seen claims that if you have good blindness skills, you'll be confident.  Jeeze, I've even seen deodorant commercials claiming increased confidence if you use their product. *smile*

But if it was that easy wouldn't we all be confident people?  We aren't and even those who claim a strong level of confidence still have moments of insecurity.  What then is confidence and where does it come from?

I would assert that confidence comes from within.  It isn't based on a cane or a dog or a certain number of skills attained.  I believe it is an attitude, an inner knowing.  It is being comfortable in your own skin.   I don't think there is anything or anyone that can give us confidence.  I believe that it is something we must claim for ourselves.  

Certainly there are extrinsic circumstances that assist us on the road to claiming confidence for ourselves, like good cane skills or a guide dog, but I do not believe that those things *give* us anything, except for perhaps the opportunity for self discovery.

Thoughts?
Julie
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