[Blindtlk] the meaning of confidence

Tue Mar 1 21:04:47 UTC 2011

i'd like to add a caveat, and I hope this doesn't come across as 
harsh.  I was born blind and raised with a cane and braille since 
I was very small.  I was not taught these things because I needed 
to be "proud" or anything of that nature.  I was taught these 
things from a young age for the simple reason that they are what 
is required for blind people to function normally in society.  
Furthermore, I was not raised in the Federation, but among a 
family who was determined to see me succeed just the same as 
anyone else.  The Federation is a wonderful organization for many 
people--I myself, though not a member as of yet, may join it 
sometime in the future.  But being raised outside the Federation 
neither guarantees nor disallows that one will be confident and 
successful.

> ----- Original Message -----
>From: "Graves, Diane" <dgraves at icrc.IN.gov
>To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>Date sent: Tue, 01 Mar 2011 08:59:26 -0600 (CST)
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] the meaning of confidence

>Julie,

>This is so beautifully stated, and so very true.  The really sad 
thing for many of us who didn't always get positive reinforcement 
as children, is that it is much, much harder to acquire as an 
adult.  This is why it is so important to get a cane into the 
hand of a three-year-old, or get them reading Braille as soon as 
possible.  We need to instill in them the knowledge that they 
need to be proud of who they are and not take a backseat to 
anyone.  The more confidence they have as a child, the stronger 
that confidence will be in adulthood.  Those of us who didn't get 
that really have to work hard to acquire and maintain it.  I only 
wish I had half of the confidence that I see in the children who 
grow up in the federation.

>I probably better clarify.  I travel with a cane daily and am 
employed in the mainstream as most of you know.  I manage a home, 
and have a family.  But, as Julie said, confidence is an inner 
feeling.  I fight for and advocate equality, and hold fast to the 
NFB philosophy.  But do I always feel secure and equal? Do I 
always have that sense of inner confidence.  No, and there is 
nothing that can give me that.  I have to develop it on my own.

>Diane Graves
>Civil Rights Specialist
>Indiana Civil Rights Commission
>Alternative Dispute Resolutions Unit
>317-232-2647

>"It is service that measures success."
>George Washington Carver

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>-----Original Message-----
>From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org 
[mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Julie J
>Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2011 9:03 AM
>To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>Subject: [Blindtlk] the meaning of confidence

>I've noticed that often we toss out the word "confidence" in our 
discussions, but I often wonder what exactly is "confidence"?

>I've read promotional material for guide dog schools that tell 
you if you get a guide dog you'll increase your confidence and 
independence.  I've seen claims that if you have good blindness 
skills, you'll be confident.  Jeeze, I've even seen deodorant 
commercials claiming increased confidence if you use their 
product.  *smile*

>But if it was that easy wouldn't we all be confident people?  We 
aren't and even those who claim a strong level of confidence 
still have moments of insecurity.  What then is confidence and 
where does it come from?

>I would assert that confidence comes from within.  It isn't based 
on a cane or a dog or a certain number of skills attained.  I 
believe it is an attitude, an inner knowing.  It is being 
comfortable in your own skin.   I don't think there is anything 
or anyone that can give us confidence.  I believe that it is 
something we must claim for ourselves.

>Certainly there are extrinsic circumstances that assist us on the 
road to claiming confidence for ourselves, like good cane skills 
or a guide dog, but I do not believe that those things *give* us 
anything, except for perhaps the opportunity for self discovery.

>Thoughts?
>Julie
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