[Blindtlk] Who Bathes You?
Raquel Vega
diva_bear at pacbell.net
Sat Mar 5 04:12:06 UTC 2011
I agree. But in what I heard, it was plainly condescending in all accounts.
Avon products:
Raquel Vega
e-mail
Diva_bear at pacbell.net
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Anjelina" <anjelinac26 at gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, March 04, 2011 7:59 PM
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Who Bathes You?
> Hi all,
> This discussion has been very interesting. I think we can all agree we've
> had our fair share of oddball questions from sighted people. If we
> combined our stories we could compile an encyclopedia chronicling our
> experiences. :) I'll start off by saying I'm not meaning to sound
> accusatory or do not intending to single anyone out.
> I understand that this is mainly a blindness forum, but it's also public.
> How is bashing people productive? Let's talk about what can we do to
> change attitudes? For myself, I've tried to look at myself before
> expecting change from anyone else. Is there something else I can do
> differently in how I present myself?
> I've learned an important lesson about jumping to conclusions about what
> we hear or assume someone is saying. Someone could say: "Who did your
> hair?" That could mean, who styled it or cut it, rather than taking the
> comment personally. One statement could be made and it could be
> interpreted seven different ways. There may be a small group of people who
> for whatever reason want to be rude and ask absurd questions, but most
> people probably truly don't realize what they are asking. Do you subscribe
> to the idea of us being ambassadors for the blindness community?
> I get irritated at times with silly questions, but I also try to stop and
> think about the person from their prospective. Atl east they have the
> courage to ask the questions and open a dialogue. We have lots of control
> in trying to convey the capabilities of the blind and if what we say isn't
> accepted then all that matters is we tried. Would we rather sighted people
> go around assuming things about us that aren't true?
> Just my thoughts.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Michelle Medina
> Sent: Friday, March 04, 2011 9:29 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Who Bathes You?
>
> I can definitely see that Raquel! These are the people you expect to
> know certain things, especially since they hold medical degrees!
> *sigh* Not to mention, it ovbiously shows she hasn't learned anything
> from you having been her friend for so long.
>
> Bonnie,
> That would get frustrating for me! I commend you for being able to put
> up with it!
>
> On 3/4/11, Bonnie Lucas <lucas.bonnie at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Well, here is my story! Once at an activity, a woman asked, "Who fixes
>> your
>> hair? It always looks so nice." I responded that since I can never get my
>> husband to do it that I pretty much had to do it myself! I actually
>> think
>> she thought my teenage daughters did it for me. Granted, the one daughter
>> who liked fixing hair would occasionally do it for her own satisfaction.
>> Like most of you, people have told my very young children, less than
>> eight,
>> to "take good care of your mother." I did not hesitate to say that it was
>> my
>> job to take care of them and not the other way around. Needless to say,
>> those are not usually the folks I become close friends with.
>> Unfortunately,
>> some folks have even told my close friends that it is nice that they were
>> friends with me. One friend said that we were friends because we got
>> along
>> and not because she was being nice. She is the kind of friend that
>> everyone
>> should have! Going to meet her in HI in a month!
>> Bonnie
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Raquel Vega
>> Sent: Friday, March 04, 2011 3:21 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Who Bathes You?
>>
>> I felt let down. I mean I'd guess if I hadn't known her, I'd just guess
>> she
>> was misinformed, but I'd known this woman for about 10 years. Logically I
>> know that sometimes doesn't mean anything, but still felt let down. She
>> to
>> is a doctor, O BG Y N.
>> Avon products:
>> Raquel Vega
>> e-mail
>> Diva_bear at pacbell.net
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Michelle Medina" <michellem86 at gmail.com>
>> Sent: Friday, March 04, 2011 3:06 PM
>> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Who Bathes You?
>>
>>> Definitely Raquel! I to plan to have a baby, irrespective of what anyone
>>> thinks!
>>>
>>> On 3/4/11, Raquel Vega <diva_bear at pacbell.net> wrote:
>>>> Oh no, I get all kind of responses when I tell folks I wanna have a
>>>> baby. It's sad, most are good people, just misinformed I'd guess. I had
>>>> a
>>>> friend I knew for years, I thought she really didn't think anything of
>>>> my
>>>> blindness. Then I talked about having babies. I told her of a friend I
>>>> knew
>>>> and she was relived when I said her boyfriend was sighted. She asked
>>>> using
>>>> this example. What if you're out in the yard, and a wasp comes and
>>>> stings
>>>> the baby, I told her that could have easily happened to a sighted
>>>> parent.
>>>> She didn't even acknowledge what I'd said.
>>>> It's sad and frustrating.
>>>> Raquel
>>>> Avon products:
>>>> Raquel Vega
>>>> e-mail
>>>> Diva_bear at pacbell.net
>>>>
>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>> From: "Ray Foret Jr" <rforetjr at att.net>
>>>> Sent: Friday, March 04, 2011 6:48 AM
>>>> To: "Jeanette Fortin" <jeanette at fortin-home.com>; "Blind Talk Mailing
>>>> List"
>>>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Who Bathes You?
>>>>
>>>>> and I thought I had heard it all. My oh my.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Sincerely,
>>>>> The Constantly Barefooted Ray!!!
>>>>>
>>>>> Now a very proud and happy Mac user!!!
>>>>> Skype name:
>>>>> barefootedray
>>>>>
>>>>> Facebook:
>>>>> facebook.com/ray.foretjr.1
>>>>>
>>>>> On Mar 4, 2011, at 8:38 AM, Jeanette Fortin wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> WELL I have had folks ask me who cooks for my kids and how much help
>>>>>> do
>>
>>>>>> i
>>>>>>
>>>>>> have come in to help, none, when we lived on the island we had a maid
>>>>>> but
>>>>>>
>>>>>> it was in support of the local islanders who needed work on the
>>>>>> island
>>>>>> to
>>>>>>
>>>>>> support families, i also homeschooled my kids and folks couldn't
>>>>>> imagine
>>>>>> how a blind person could teach anything, really?
>>>>>> just amazing, jeanette
>>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Marion Gwizdala"
>>>>>> <blind411 at verizon.net>
>>>>>> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>> Sent: Friday, March 04, 2011 5:11 AM
>>>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] Who Bathes You?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I went to see a dermatologist once who said, You're really clean!
>>>>>>> Who
>>>>>>> bathes you?" I expressed my dismay that a well educated person like
>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>> doctor would ask such an offensively stereotypical question, as I
>>>>>>> took
>>>>>>> out my business card and handed it to him.Then I asked him "Who
>>>>>>> bathes
>>>>>>> you?" He apologized profusely, sharing that he understands how I
>>>>>>> feel
>>>>>>> because he has a clubbed foot! There's no accounting for convoluted
>>>>>>> logic! In the words of Archie Bunker, "That's the kind of straight
>>>>>>> thinking we need nowadays!"
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Fraternally yours,
>>>>>>> Marion
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- From: "Michelle Medina"
>>>>>>> <michellem86 at gmail.com>
>>>>>>> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, March 03, 2011 12:05 PM
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Responses of Medical Professionals.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I'd have been absolutely furious!!!! In fact, I must confess, I may
>>>>>>>> have accidentally *purposely* stabbed her hand or arm as my food
>>>>>>>> was
>>>>>>>> spinning by.
>>>>>>>> Chelle
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> On 3/3/11, Hyde, David W. (ESC) <david.hyde at wcbvi.k12.wi.us> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> When I was a kid in Oregon, most blind children were treated at
>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>> University of Oregon Medical School. Being an RLF (now ROP,
>>>>>>>>> nothing's
>>>>>>>>> changed but the initials) child, all the interns took a look at
>>>>>>>>> me.
>>>>>>>>> Looking
>>>>>>>>> back, I don't remember any of them introducing themselves, but
>>>>>>>>> they
>>>>>>>>> sure
>>>>>>>>> loved working with the pressure gage and the slit lamp.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> My best medical story, though, comes from eye surgery in the
>>>>>>>>> seventies. I
>>>>>>>>> was in the hospital after surgery, and was getting my first real
>>>>>>>>> meal.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>> know that there was something on my chart that said I was blind,
>>>>>>>>> since,
>>>>>>>>> after all, the bandages over the eyes wouldn't give any clue. The
>>>>>>>>> service
>>>>>>>>> staff came in, and put the food tray on the table over the bed,
>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>> thanked her, assuming our interaction was done. She looked at me,
>>>>>>>>> looked at
>>>>>>>>> my wife who was in the room, and turned the tray 180 degrees. I
>>>>>>>>> thanked her
>>>>>>>>> again. She looked back at me, back at my wife and turned it again.
>>>>>>>>> After the
>>>>>>>>> third iteration, I confess I lost my patience and asked if I was
>>>>>>>>> just
>>>>>>>>> supposed to use a fork to stab something as it went by.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> It's funny now, but frustrating then.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>>> From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>> [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> On
>>>>>>>>> Behalf Of Mary Mc Gee
>>>>>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, March 02, 2011 3:11 PM
>>>>>>>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
>>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Responses of Medical Professionals.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Dear Fellow Federationists;
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> I've read with interest all the posts about experiences
>>>>>>>>> at
>>>>>>>>> health care providers' offices. I have some experiences I can
>>>>>>>>> throw
>>>>>>>>> into
>>>>>>>>> the mix.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> First, I'll say that, because the cause of my blindness
>>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>>> albinism, I had a unique appearance that was impossible to hide
>>>>>>>>> when
>>
>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> was
>>>>>>>>> younger. I was a student at the Iowa Braille and Sight Saving
>>>>>>>>> School
>>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>>> ten years and, during that time, I went to the University of Iowa
>>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>>> free
>>>>>>>>> eye care-at least "they" called it eye care. It was more on the
>>>>>>>>> order
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>> eye study because every med student, intern, and ophthalmology
>>>>>>>>> resident had
>>>>>>>>> to come examines the "albinotic eye" before I received any low
>>>>>>>>> vision
>>>>>>>>> glasses, etc. that would actually improve what little vision I
>>>>>>>>> have.
>>>>>>>>> I felt
>>>>>>>>> like a zoo or circus animal on display because I was a condition
>>>>>>>>> rather than
>>>>>>>>> a person. It hurt a lot and I'm not simply talking about all the
>>>>>>>>> lights
>>>>>>>>> shining in my eyes, but also the emotional pain it caused.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> As an adult I've had some doctors who have been very
>>>>>>>>> nice
>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>> some who haven't. The number of nice ones directly correlates
>>>>>>>>> with
>>>>>>>>> my
>>>>>>>>> various degrees-all doctors and staffs are nice now that I put
>>>>>>>>> "Attorney" on
>>>>>>>>> their intake forms.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> But, when I first came to Des Moines in 1976, visited a
>>>>>>>>> neurologist because of migraine headaches. He spent more time
>>>>>>>>> looking
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> at my
>>>>>>>>> eyes than he did taking a history of the headaches. I went to one
>>>>>>>>> doctor
>>>>>>>>> whose office staff handed the intake form to my driver too
>>>>>>>>> complete
>>>>>>>>> until I
>>>>>>>>> complained. One time, when I went to an orthopedic surgeon's
>>>>>>>>> office
>>>>>>>>> for an
>>>>>>>>> expert consult to prepare for trial, I was greatly surprised that
>>>>>>>>> she
>>>>>>>>> spent
>>>>>>>>> fifteen minutes asking about my vision instead of my client's
>>>>>>>>> treatment. I
>>>>>>>>> simply told her that, if she billed for those extra minutes, she
>>>>>>>>> wouldn't be
>>>>>>>>> paid, because I would deduct that amount of time from my bill back
>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>> client. She didn't argue and even apologized.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> I'm fortunate that I currently have a sensitive, caring
>>>>>>>>> group of
>>>>>>>>> physicians. I'll have to admit, though, that the trauma of the
>>>>>>>>> past
>>>>>>>>> plus my
>>>>>>>>> attorney's skepticism is quite hard to eliminate when I meet a new
>>>>>>>>> one.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> The Iowa Department for the Blind has been doing a PR
>>>>>>>>> project
>>>>>>>>> with health care providers to educate them with the hope that
>>>>>>>>> fewer
>>>>>>>>> people
>>>>>>>>> will have unpleasant experiences when they need help.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> I'd be interested in hearing if any of you, like me,
>>>>>>>>> were
>>>>>>>>> treated as a medical oddity at any time.
>>>>>>>>> Sincerely,
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Mary L. McGee
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> NOTICE: This E-mail (including attachments) is covered by the
>>>>>>>>> Electronic
>>>>>>>>> Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. Sections 2510-2521, is
>>>>>>>>> confidential
>>>>>>>>> and may be legally privileged. If you are not the intended
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>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> you
>>>>>>>>> are hereby notified that any tetention, dissemination,
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>>>>>>>>> or
>>>>>>>>> copying of this communication is strictly prohibited. Please
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>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>> sender that you have received the message in error, then delete.
>>>>>>>>> Thank you.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> --
>>>>>>>> "FUCK YOU FOR KILLING ME!!!!" SHAUN MORGAN - "NEEDLES"
>>>>>>>> "THESE STAND FOR ME, NAME YOUR GOD AND BLEED THE FREAK!
>>>>>>>> I'D LIKE TO SEE, HOW YOU ALL WOULD BLEED FOR ME!" -LAYNE STALEY -
>>>>>>>> "BLEED THE FREAK"
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>
>>>>>>
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>>>>
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>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> "FUCK YOU FOR KILLING ME!!!!" SHAUN MORGAN - "NEEDLES"
>>> "THESE STAND FOR ME, NAME YOUR GOD AND BLEED THE FREAK!
>>> I'D LIKE TO SEE, HOW YOU ALL WOULD BLEED FOR ME!" -LAYNE STALEY -
>>> "BLEED THE FREAK"
>>>
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>
>
> --
> "FUCK YOU FOR KILLING ME!!!!" SHAUN MORGAN - "NEEDLES"
> "THESE STAND FOR ME, NAME YOUR GOD AND BLEED THE FREAK!
> I'D LIKE TO SEE, HOW YOU ALL WOULD BLEED FOR ME!" -LAYNE STALEY -
> "BLEED THE FREAK"
>
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>
> Anjelina
>
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