[Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane

Sun Dec 16 22:58:23 UTC 2012

Right on, Cheryl.

Mike Freeman

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of cheryl
echevarria
Sent: Sunday, December 16, 2012 2:43 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane

I think a lot was left out about this person that is being talked about she
is 62 years old, living with parents that lets face it if she is 62 her
parents have to be in the 80s. 
She has no blindness skills at all, no cane skills, relies on everyone for
help.
She wants a dog but doesn't have mobility training.
Let us not forget that guide dogs do not replace knowing mobility skills
period.  Whether using long white cane, or collapsible ones, which ever you
choose.
Being a guide dog users, I have cane skills, I also got better cane skills
after joining the NFB and learning how to do the search and explore.
Granted a lot of older people do not know these techniques, but at the same
time, at our state convention, there were 2 guide dog schools present, and
both of them gave great presentations and that they both said the dog does
not replace the mobility skills,and they get it all the time that families
call and ask them about dogs, and they answer well does your family member
use a cane or know there mobility skills, they say oh no, we want a dog to
help them get around, and then they have to explain why they need the
mobility skills prior to getting a dog.
One maybe a preferred mobility aid, but shouldn't be the only one, I use
cane, sighted guide and guide dog, not necessarily in that order, but at the
same time, I don't take my dog everywhere and that is my preference.
We should worry about helping this chapter out and giving ideas to help this
person, sooner or later her parents will be dead and then what she will wind
up in a nursing home or worse.
We don't need this at all.
Cheryl

Disabled Entrepreneur of the Year 2012 of NY State Leading the Way in
Independent Travel!SNG Certified - Accessible Travel Advocate!Cheryl
Echevarria,
Ownerhttp://www.echevarriatravel.com631-456-5394reservations@echevarriatrave
l.comhttp://www.echevarriatravel.wordpress.com2012 Norwegian Cruise Line
University Advisory Board Member.Echevarria Travel and proud member of the
National Federation of the Blind will be holding a year round fundraiser for
the http://www.NFBNY.org after Hurricane Sandy and other resources. Any
vacation package booked between November 6 2012-November 6, 2013 and
vacation must be traveled no later than 12/30/2014 a percentage of my
earnings will go to the affiliate.  Also is you book a Sandals for couples
or Beaches for families and friends resorts vacation, $100.00 per booking
will go to the affiliate as well.  You do not need to be a member of the
NFB.org, just book through us.

> Date: Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:11:25 -0500
> From: michellem86 at gmail.com
> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane
> 
> Diane,
> I can't believe anyohne would try to do that!! I've had people even in 
> my own family grab my cane, but they'll do it when their messing with 
> me. It's like a prank and once I tell them paws off it's over. But 
> never to "leadZ" me around like it's a leash. *shakes head*
> 
> Julie,
> I like that, in fact, I love it!!!!!!!
> I don't have Children of my own yet, but just reading what you wrote, 
> I wonder if my life wouldn't have turned out differently, and if I 
> wouldn't have felt more in control of my life if I had felt like I was 
> making choices/was empowered to do so.
> 
> To the list as a whole:
> I don't use the long white canes anyway. I use a collapsable one and 
> it does the job perfectly for me. Would that mean I wouldn't be 
> accepted over that? I should hope not, because I feel safer and way 
> more independent with it then I'd ever feel without it.
> 
> On 12/16/12, Julie J. <julielj at neb.rr.com> wrote:
> > Peter,
> >
> > what is the real issue behind this need to have this woman use a cane?
> > I strongly suspect there is some deeper issue going on here.
> >
> > Perhaps she is embarrassing the rest of the chapter?  I will freely 
> > admit that I struggle a lot with feelings of embarrassment when I am 
> > around blind people with very poor skills.  I don't like being 
> > grouped in with them or compared to them.  It's very much an issue 
> > of my own prejudices.  I'm working hard to accept people where they 
> > are, not where I want them to be.  It's a work in progress.
> >
> > Perhaps some people are feeling that she is lazy and should get with 
> > the program.  Learning blindness skills is hard work that takes time.
> > Perhaps some people are feeling that they had to work hard to be 
> > where they are and this woman is a freeloader.  She's getting the 
> > benefits of their hard work both in regard to assistance in and out 
> > of the building as well as in the general advances the NFB has made for
blind people.
> > She's reaping the rewards without lifting a finger.
> >
> > Perhaps it is an affront to the other blind folks sense of what it 
> > means to be blind.  quite often the long white cane is the symbol of 
> > blindness.  Within the NFB the long white cane is also often the 
> > symbol for personal independence.  By this woman's refusal to carry 
> > or use a cane, she is not acknowledging independence for blind people as
a whole.
> >
> > Perhaps there are some folks that have issues with controlling others.
> > You cannot control others actions.  All you can do is run your own 
> > life.  Loads of folks choose to do stupid things on a daily basis.
> > Look at all the people who smoke cigarettes, drink to excess, refuse 
> > to exercise, eat McDonalds and the list goes on and on.  Are those 
> > things smart, no, but I bet most of us on this list have done most 
> > of those things at one time or another.  I bet we have also done 
> > some stupid thing or another in regard to our blindness.  Those 
> > things don't make us horrible, terrible people in need of 
> > consequences.  those mistakes make us human.  Let this woman make 
> > her own choices.  The consequences will occur naturally.  she doesn't
need her nose rubbed in her mistakes.
> >
> > I can understand how hard it is to watch someone make what I 
> > consider to be mistakes.  It's really hard to sit on your hands and 
> > let them learn in their own time.  I don't mean that we shouldn't 
> > offer help or resources or whatever, but when the person is 
> > knowledgeable about the issue and makes their choices regardless, we 
> > have to respect their decision and back off.  Yes, she will probably 
> > fall, however that isn't your fault and it sure isn't your
responsibility.  this woman is an adult.
> >
> > Now if you don't want her in your home because you think she is 
> > going to break your stuff or cause a disturbance or whatever, then 
> > don't invite her over.  It's your home, your stuff and your decision.
> >
> > I teach a parenting class.  In it one of the main principles is to 
> > stop telling your kids what they are going to do and start telling 
> > them what you are going to do.  So no more you have to eat all your 
> > food.  How are you going to enforce that?  You can't actually make 
> > the kid eat the peas and carrots.  Instead try the statement I give 
> > dessert to kids who eat their vegetables.  It's a subtle change, but it
has huge effects.
> > You're allowing the other person to make their own choices.  You are 
> > empowering them to be their own person.  There is also no power 
> > struggle, no drill sergeant in charge.  Each person is responsible 
> > for their own actions.  Likewise each person is responsible for the 
> > consequences of those actions.
> >
> > Julie
> >
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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> >
> 
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