[Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane

Sun Dec 16 22:59:22 UTC 2012

Julie:
I get embarrassed and not know what to do with all of us at times myself, I have more vision then some, and at first when I joined I had a whole lot more, I felt embarrassed to have so much when others had none at all, and how I could be part of something if I wasn't totally blind, until I met Mike and Angie Robinson, 2nd Vice President of NY State, what an inspiration he is to me and as made me feel a little more comfortable in my own skin.
I am not prejudice in the way others have less then me, but me being embarrassed for myself. I don't those out there reading this that are not totally blind ever feel like this.
We had a similar discussion at our annual leadership seminar here in NY this past summer, were I learned a whole lot.
Cheryl

Disabled Entrepreneur of the Year 2012 of NY State
Leading the Way in Independent Travel!SNG Certified - Accessible Travel Advocate!Cheryl Echevarria, Ownerhttp://www.echevarriatravel.com631-456-5394reservations@echevarriatravel.comhttp://www.echevarriatravel.wordpress.com2012 Norwegian Cruise Line University Advisory Board Member.Echevarria Travel and proud member of the National Federation of the Blind will be holding a year round fundraiser for the http://www.NFBNY.org after Hurricane Sandy and other resources. Any vacation package booked between November 6 2012-November 6, 2013 and vacation must be traveled no later than 12/30/2014 a percentage of my earnings will go to the affiliate.  Also is you book a Sandals for couples or Beaches for families and friends resorts vacation, $100.00 per booking will go to the affiliate as well.  You do not need to be a member of the NFB.org, just book through us.

> From: cherylandmaxx at hotmail.com
> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> Date: Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:43:30 -0500
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane
> 
> 
> I think a lot was left out about this person that is being talked about she is 62 years old, living with parents that lets face it if she is 62 her parents have to be in the 80s. 
> She has no blindness skills at all, no cane skills, relies on everyone for help.
> She wants a dog but doesn't have mobility training.
> Let us not forget that guide dogs do not replace knowing mobility skills period.  Whether using long white cane, or collapsible ones, which ever you choose.
> Being a guide dog users, I have cane skills, I also got better cane skills after joining the NFB and learning how to do the search and explore.
> Granted a lot of older people do not know these techniques, but at the same time, at our state convention, there were 2 guide dog schools present, and both of them gave great presentations and that they both said the dog does not replace the mobility skills,and they get it all the time that families call and ask them about dogs, and they answer well does your family member use a cane or know there mobility skills, they say oh no, we want a dog to help them get around, and then they have to explain why they need the mobility skills prior to getting a dog.
> One maybe a preferred mobility aid, but shouldn't be the only one, I use cane, sighted guide and guide dog, not necessarily in that order, but at the same time, I don't take my dog everywhere and that is my preference.
> We should worry about helping this chapter out and giving ideas to help this person, sooner or later her parents will be dead and then what she will wind up in a nursing home or worse.
> We don't need this at all.
> Cheryl
> 
> Disabled Entrepreneur of the Year 2012 of NY State
> Leading the Way in Independent Travel!SNG Certified - Accessible Travel Advocate!Cheryl Echevarria, Ownerhttp://www.echevarriatravel.com631-456-5394reservations@echevarriatravel.comhttp://www.echevarriatravel.wordpress.com2012 Norwegian Cruise Line University Advisory Board Member.Echevarria Travel and proud member of the National Federation of the Blind will be holding a year round fundraiser for the http://www.NFBNY.org after Hurricane Sandy and other resources. Any vacation package booked between November 6 2012-November 6, 2013 and vacation must be traveled no later than 12/30/2014 a percentage of my earnings will go to the affiliate.  Also is you book a Sandals for couples or Beaches for families and friends resorts vacation, $100.00 per booking will go to the affiliate as well.  You do not need to be a member of the NFB.org, just book through us.
> 
> 
> > Date: Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:11:25 -0500
> > From: michellem86 at gmail.com
> > To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> > Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane
> > 
> > Diane,
> > I can't believe anyohne would try to do that!! I've had people even in
> > my own family grab my cane, but they'll do it when their messing with
> > me. It's like a prank and once I tell them paws off it's over. But
> > never to "leadZ" me around like it's a leash. *shakes head*
> > 
> > Julie,
> > I like that, in fact, I love it!!!!!!!
> > I don't have Children of my own yet, but just reading what you wrote,
> > I wonder if my life wouldn't have turned out differently, and if I
> > wouldn't have felt more in control of my life if I had felt like I was
> > making choices/was empowered to do so.
> > 
> > To the list as a whole:
> > I don't use the long white canes anyway. I use a collapsable one and
> > it does the job perfectly for me. Would that mean I wouldn't be
> > accepted over that? I should hope not, because I feel safer and way
> > more independent with it then I'd ever feel without it.
> > 
> > On 12/16/12, Julie J. <julielj at neb.rr.com> wrote:
> > > Peter,
> > >
> > > what is the real issue behind this need to have this woman use a cane?
> > > I strongly suspect there is some deeper issue going on here.
> > >
> > > Perhaps she is embarrassing the rest of the chapter?  I will freely
> > > admit that I struggle a lot with feelings of embarrassment when I am
> > > around blind people with very poor skills.  I don't like being grouped
> > > in with them or compared to them.  It's very much an issue of my own
> > > prejudices.  I'm working hard to accept people where they are, not where
> > > I want them to be.  It's a work in progress.
> > >
> > > Perhaps some people are feeling that she is lazy and should get with the
> > > program.  Learning blindness skills is hard work that takes time.
> > > Perhaps some people are feeling that they had to work hard to be where
> > > they are and this woman is a freeloader.  She's getting the benefits of
> > > their hard work both in regard to assistance in and out of the building
> > > as well as in the general advances the NFB has made for blind people.
> > > She's reaping the rewards without lifting a finger.
> > >
> > > Perhaps it is an affront to the other blind folks sense of what it means
> > > to be blind.  quite often the long white cane is the symbol of
> > > blindness.  Within the NFB the long white cane is also often the symbol
> > > for personal independence.  By this woman's refusal to carry or use a
> > > cane, she is not acknowledging independence for blind people as a whole.
> > >
> > > Perhaps there are some folks that have issues with controlling others.
> > > You cannot control others actions.  All you can do is run your own
> > > life.  Loads of folks choose to do stupid things on a daily basis.
> > > Look at all the people who smoke cigarettes, drink to excess, refuse to
> > > exercise, eat McDonalds and the list goes on and on.  Are those things
> > > smart, no, but I bet most of us on this list have done most of those
> > > things at one time or another.  I bet we have also done some stupid
> > > thing or another in regard to our blindness.  Those things don't make us
> > > horrible, terrible people in need of consequences.  those mistakes make
> > > us human.  Let this woman make her own choices.  The consequences will
> > > occur naturally.  she doesn't need her nose rubbed in her mistakes.
> > >
> > > I can understand how hard it is to watch someone make what I consider to
> > > be mistakes.  It's really hard to sit on your hands and let them learn
> > > in their own time.  I don't mean that we shouldn't offer help or
> > > resources or whatever, but when the person is knowledgeable about the
> > > issue and makes their choices regardless, we have to respect their
> > > decision and back off.  Yes, she will probably fall, however that isn't
> > > your fault and it sure isn't your responsibility.  this woman is an adult.
> > >
> > > Now if you don't want her in your home because you think she is going to
> > > break your stuff or cause a disturbance or whatever, then don't invite
> > > her over.  It's your home, your stuff and your decision.
> > >
> > > I teach a parenting class.  In it one of the main principles is to stop
> > > telling your kids what they are going to do and start telling them what
> > > you are going to do.  So no more you have to eat all your food.  How are
> > > you going to enforce that?  You can't actually make the kid eat the peas
> > > and carrots.  Instead try the statement I give dessert to kids who eat
> > > their vegetables.  It's a subtle change, but it has huge effects.
> > > You're allowing the other person to make their own choices.  You are
> > > empowering them to be their own person.  There is also no power
> > > struggle, no drill sergeant in charge.  Each person is responsible for
> > > their own actions.  Likewise each person is responsible for the
> > > consequences of those actions.
> > >
> > > Julie
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > _______________________________________________
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> > >
> > 
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