[Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane

Mon Dec 17 01:14:05 UTC 2012

I'd say no Diane!!

On 12/16/12, Diane Graves <princess.di2007 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Julie,
>
> Very well said. We are all in different places and have to make choices.
> I absolutely use a cane every single day of my life,, the only exception
> being those rare days when I don't leave the house at all. In fact, even if
> I am walking with a sighted guide--which is sometimes more convenient when
> trying to travel through a mall and hold a conversation, or walk to a table
> at a restaurant--I have my cane extended and am using it.
>
> However, I can guarantee you that there are a good number of blind people
> who have better mobility skills than I. For example, I cannot use echo
> location effectively at all, because I also have a hearing deficit.
>
> There are a good number of blind people who think nothing of going to the
> largest airports in the country and, with minimal verbal direction,, find
> their respective  gates themselves. They would be offended by any further
> assistance. I am not one of those people, and I would prefer to have an
> escort. Perhaps this is because I don't fly as much as some, I don't know.
> Now... when they try to push me into a wheelchair,, as they have been known
> to try, then they are going to have a major battle on their hands. I can
> walk just fine thank you very much, and I won't be riding. But I do feel
> more comfortable with the assistance, even if they just walk along beside
> me
> as I use my cane.
>
> So does this make me a bad person, or less of a person?? I hope not.
>
> Diane Graves
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Julie J.
> Sent: Sunday, December 16, 2012 3:11 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Refusal To Use A Cane
>
> Peter,
>
> what is the real issue behind this need to have this woman use a cane?
> I strongly suspect there is some deeper issue going on here.
>
> Perhaps she is embarrassing the rest of the chapter?  I will freely admit
> that I struggle a lot with feelings of embarrassment when I am around blind
> people with very poor skills.  I don't like being grouped in with them or
> compared to them.  It's very much an issue of my own prejudices.  I'm
> working hard to accept people where they are, not where I want them to be.
> It's a work in progress.
>
> Perhaps some people are feeling that she is lazy and should get with the
> program.  Learning blindness skills is hard work that takes time.
> Perhaps some people are feeling that they had to work hard to be where they
> are and this woman is a freeloader.  She's getting the benefits of their
> hard work both in regard to assistance in and out of the building
> as well as in the general advances the NFB has made for blind people.
> She's reaping the rewards without lifting a finger.
>
> Perhaps it is an affront to the other blind folks sense of what it means to
> be blind.  quite often the long white cane is the symbol of blindness.
> Within the NFB the long white cane is also often the symbol for personal
> independence.  By this woman's refusal to carry or use a cane, she is not
> acknowledging independence for blind people as a whole.
>
> Perhaps there are some folks that have issues with controlling others.
> You cannot control others actions.  All you can do is run your own
> life.  Loads of folks choose to do stupid things on a daily basis.
> Look at all the people who smoke cigarettes, drink to excess, refuse to
> exercise, eat McDonalds and the list goes on and on.  Are those things
> smart, no, but I bet most of us on this list have done most of those things
> at one time or another.  I bet we have also done some stupid thing or
> another in regard to our blindness.  Those things don't make us horrible,
> terrible people in need of consequences.  those mistakes make us human.
> Let
> this woman make her own choices.  The consequences will occur naturally.
> she doesn't need her nose rubbed in her mistakes.
>
> I can understand how hard it is to watch someone make what I consider to be
> mistakes.  It's really hard to sit on your hands and let them learn in
> their
> own time.  I don't mean that we shouldn't offer help or resources or
> whatever, but when the person is knowledgeable about the issue and makes
> their choices regardless, we have to respect their decision and back off.
> Yes, she will probably fall, however that isn't your fault and it sure
> isn't
> your responsibility.  this woman is an adult.
>
> Now if you don't want her in your home because you think she is going to
> break your stuff or cause a disturbance or whatever, then don't invite her
> over.  It's your home, your stuff and your decision.
>
> I teach a parenting class.  In it one of the main principles is to stop
> telling your kids what they are going to do and start telling them what you
> are going to do.  So no more you have to eat all your food.  How are you
> going to enforce that?  You can't actually make the kid eat the peas and
> carrots.  Instead try the statement I give dessert to kids who eat their
> vegetables.  It's a subtle change, but it has huge effects.
> You're allowing the other person to make their own choices.  You are
> empowering them to be their own person.  There is also no power struggle,
> no
> drill sergeant in charge.  Each person is responsible for their own
> actions.
> Likewise each person is responsible for the consequences of those actions.
>
> Julie
>
>
>
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