[Blindtlk] To Desiree

Tue Feb 21 14:51:27 UTC 2012

Hi Desiree. I do hope that you stay around to read the responses to your post. I am sorry things are going this badly for you. I wish there were something I could do other than just to encourage. I do not have any instant solutions. I hear the anger, the frustration and the loneliness. Those of us who can will do what we can to encourage you, but ultimately you will need to make any changes yourself.

We all know that without training and opportunity, blindness is not a nuisance, but a life inhibiter. This is the side of the coin many of us don't like to look at. I think the first thing that you might want to try is finding something you like to do, and finding others who enjoy it too. Start a community of friends, even virtual ones, around that. Take a class like from Hadley in something interesting. You can do that from home. Reach out to people. Some of us will listen.

Please let some of us know how you are doing. I hope that I am not writing just for the sound of the clacking of keys. I am sure you are someone who, with some help, can begin to achieve your goals. Just keep in mind how one eats an elephant. One bite at a time.

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Desiree Oudinot
Sent: Monday, February 20, 2012 9:29 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Encouraging Medical Students To Be Retina Doctors

Hi,
I, too, have been blind all my life, and like you, I live in a rural area as well. It's downright debilitating, not to mention degrading, to have to rely on others for transportation, any form of transportation, to accomplish the most basic of tasks that sighted people take for granted. I'm 22 years old, and still live with my parents because of this problem; I can't go apartment hunting, because they don't approve of me moving out. I have few friends, because the friends I do have, they don't approve of due to racial differences and the fact one was a former boyfriend, so in their eyes I should hate him. A young person likes to drink and party at least a little bit, and yet the only people I can ask to take me to a liquor store, are, guess who, my parents. Yet what parent wants to deal with the reality of their daughter being grown up? So, I don't drag them into that aspect of my life.
I live by the Bible for the most part. One of the ten commandments, as you all well should know, is honor thy father and mother. So, as long as I live under their roof, I abide by their rules. I'm not going to hell for making waves when they obviously are paying for the gas, the car insurance, and the general maintence of the car.
I honestly can't believe I just spoke out about that on an email list, and I would sincerely appreciate it if this is being used for a study, my name be left out of it. But I'm nearly at a breaking point. This isn't just about a lack of socialization either. Even tasks that sighted people complain about, like grocery shopping, I would take pride in doing on my own. I would be able to say I did that, and I didn't have to be a burden to anyone. I didn't have to be an object, yes, an object, to be pitied and belittled and spit upon. I would give anything to have a job, even a low-paying one such as a cashier, if it meant I didn't have to go to college. I abhor the idea of going to college, in fact. I can't see suffering at the hands of ignorant people who live to torment someone who's different to somehow inflate their already bloated egos. That's another thing about living in a rural area, people are ignorant. Besides, I have no idea what I would want to do, and drifting aimlessly through college for 4 years, being taught things the government deems acceptable, is beyond stupid. So, I would love the idea of doing a cashier's job, or something similar, but alas, a lack of sight prevents this. I also realize that nothing in this response falls in line at all with NFB philosophy, so after I send this message, I'm going to unsubscribe from the list, and this can be a big fuck you to all you radicals that say blindness is but a mere nuisance. It's been more than that to me. Not being able to drive a car has plummeted me into severe depression, has alienated me from society, and stunted my growth and freedom.

On 2/20/12, Mark J. Cadigan <kramc11 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Michelle
>
>
>
> I would agree that not being able to drive a car when you live in an 
> area with no public transportation is a hindrance. Have you ever 
> considered relocating to an area with public transportation? I know 
> that that is a logistical nightmare and nearly impossible in some 
> situations, but getting there, is well worth it.
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Michelle Medina" <michellem86 at gmail.com>
> To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, February 20, 2012 9:55 PM
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Encouraging Medical Students To Be Retina 
> Doctors
>
>
>> Johanna,
>> First off, allow me to say that I was born without eyes and therefore 
>> have never had eyesight. However, if you will accept my word for what 
>> it's worth, the story goes that you 'can't miss what you do not have'.
>> I'd venture to say at least partially that this is a falsehood.
>>
>> I live in a rural area and am unable to drive a car. Most people
>> think: "So what. You can't drive a car, big deal."
>> What they think and sometimes say is NOT how I feel. I feel like it's 
>> a huge deal. There is no transportation *no buses and noone available 
>> to drive me somewhere to catch a bus* even that isn't the route of it 
>> though.
>>
>> My best friend is also legally blind though she does have some sight.
>> We used to sit in what would have been her car on her sixteenth 
>> birthday if she would have been able to get her license and crank the 
>> stereo in the dead of summer with the windows down just to imagine 
>> the feeling of freedom, the roadtrips we would take, the growing up 
>> we would have done over the course of a spring break or a summer 
>> spent roadtripping around the country.
>> Ovbiously, as blind individuals we can still do this, however, to me 
>> it is the 'absolute freedom' of getting up and leaving exactly when I 
>> Desire to versus waiting for someone else. It is the 'absolute 
>> freedom' of walking into my parents room and saying: "I'm going to 
>> visit Elias now, I'll be back in a couple of hours!" versus waiting 
>> for one of them to drop me off. It's getting out of the car and 
>> walking into Walmart and reading the labels on food products and 
>> picking out what I believe to be the healthiest choice versus going 
>> in with a companion whose in a hurry, or waiting at the customer 
>> service desk for an hour and 15 minutes. *Note: our Walmart doesn't 
>> have shoppers as I said I'm in a rural place, and I like alot of 
>> people live off of SSI so don't have the money to buy a label reader*
>>
>> Ultimately though, it isn't about money anyway, or even convenience, 
>> though I would find these things convenient, who wouldn't? Smile.
>>
>> It really boils down to the feeling I got the first time I tied my 
>> shoes or the first time I rode a horse by myself or the first time I 
>> Brailled up something without needing any help. It's that "I can do 
>> this!!!" feeling that I get. That feeling of as I said before, 
>> absolute freedom and excitement that I didn't rely on anyone, I did 
>> it myself!! And I'm sooooo proud of myself for doing whatever thing 
>> it might be, ON MY OWN! There's nothing like that feeling. You can't 
>> buy it or have it given to you or find it in a food or pill or even 
>> another person. You can only find it within yourself.
>> And if I had my eyesight and could experience the glory of a 
>> sunset/rise, or of looking into someone's eyes and seeing through to 
>> the depths of their soul, or laying eyes on my baby daughter for the 
>> first time, or the person who would become my romantic partner I can 
>> only imagine the exhilaration and excitement and utter pleasure it 
>> would bring me.
>> Michelle
>>
>> On 2/20/12, Johanna Baccan <24kjo at optonline.net> wrote:
>>> To All:
>>>
>>> I was asked by Dr. Steven  Sang one of the top Retina Doctors at 
>>> Columbia Presbyterian  Hospital in New York City, new York  to speak 
>>> to Columbia University Medical Students.  He wants me to encourage 
>>> them to become Retina
>>> Doctors and Retina Researchers.     I am a 54 year old woman and have a
>>> unusual form of Stargardt's Disease and have been visually impaired 
>>> for
>>> 34
>>> years.  I know that we all have mastered some if not all the 
>>> Techniques of Blindness.  But my talk is going to be on what it 
>>> would mean to regain my vision and what I have missed out on for 34 
>>> years.  I would like to hear from all of you to let me know what it 
>>> would mean to you to have or regain your vision.  What struggles 
>>> have you had.  There has been a declined in Medical Students to 
>>> become Retina Doctors and Researchers in this country.
>>> As a whole the Blind Community seems to function in a way that 
>>> people don't realize how difficult it really is.  So instead of 
>>> talking how I mastered the Techniques of Blindness I have to talk 
>>> about the reality of vision loss.
>>> These students are exposed to other patients with diseases that are 
>>> much more visible and pronounced then our vision loss.  At times my 
>>> particular eye disease has been called a Hidden handicap.  Because 
>>> to look at me even though I use a cane I do not look visually 
>>> impaired at all.  Any suggestions or comments would be greatly 
>>> appreciated.  Thank you.
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>>
>>> Johanna Baccan
>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your 
>> aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive 
>> is too small for you.
>> ~ David Whyte ~ (House of Belonging)
>>
>> Sadie Marie Medina!
>> Original birthdate unnone.
>> First birthday with us: 2/15/2009
>> Welcome home baby!
>>
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>
>
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