[Blindtlk] Tips In Dealing With Family Members

[Mark Tardif]

Hi, Nicholas.

I am not sure what you mean by saying you go back to your family for "normal 
stuff."  Please correct me if I'm wrong, and it certainly wouldn't be the 
first time, but when you say that, it almost makes me wonder if you yourself 
have doubts about your own abilities as a blind person.  Again, I may be 
woefully off the mark here, so please feel free to let me know that.  But if 
this is the case, it may make it that much harder for you to convince your 
family that you are a perfectly functioning person who has good blindness 
skills.  In certain areas, when I was a teenager, I literally had to prove 
my mobility skills to my parents and in some instances had to bug them so 
much that they finally let me have my way.  It's hard to do that, and I love 
my parents dearly, but sometimes that kind of confrontation cannot be 
avoided.  In some instances, I would just do what I wanted, pretty much 
regardless of whether they thought I could or not, and I suppose I had the 
advantage of living far away from my family for many years.  But even now 
when I am with my parents, I insist on using my cane, for example.  I think 
we have reached an understanding that I am independent, but at the same time 
that doesn't mean I won't ask them for help from time to time.  Even though 
we live in what is normally a very snowy area this winter, for example, I 
walk pretty much whenever I want to do so, for example, and all my parents 
say are things like, "Okay, but watch out for the ice," and that's fine, but 
they know that they shouldn't try to overprotect or restrict me, because I 
simply won't let them.  I will let them know gently, but I will do it.  It's 
a hard battle, and I am sure you will find much supportive feedback on this 
list.

Mark Tardif
Nuclear arms will not hold you.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Nicholas
Sent: Saturday, December 28, 2013 6:19 PM
To: il-talk at nfbnet.org ; blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Subject: [Blindtlk] Tips In Dealing With Family Members

Hi,

I know I post when I need advice, and I need to try to share experiences, 
but do any of you have tips on dealing with family members who don't get it? 
By it I mean blindness and the fact that we are humans who deserve 
independence like anyone else.  Both sides of my family seem to think that 
my independence means that my love for them has decreased because I don't 
let them dictate my life anymore.  Training and the NFB has shown me that 
the blind can serve as equal when given an opportunity.  I have changed but 
they have not.  I'm not sure they ever will.  I don't want to cut all ties 
with them, but feel liberated when I am not around them and sucked down when 
I am.  However, I keep going back to them for advice and "normal" stuff. 
However, when I seek empathy I don't get it.  I willingly take your help, 
and won't respond until I cool down.  I am known to allow my feelings to get 
the best of me.  Thanks for your help.  I plan to thank those who respond in 
a couple of days.

Nicholas S. Robertson, MBA
Phone: 641.660.2475
Email: robertson.nicholas at hotmail.com
            nicholas.robertson2 at va.gov



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