[Blindtlk] blind people being loners

[Diane Graves]

Hi Steve and All,

I would agree with Steve. I think that my blindness is a contributing factor
to why I often have trouble making friends with sighted people, but it isn't
the characteristic itself. It goes much deeper than that. Even at work, I
have good working relationships with most all of the people in my office,
but not many who I would really call friends.

My blindness is a factor because I didn't get the support and affirmation
that I needed growing up. I know that my family loved me, but it was clear
that they sometimes felt my blindness made me inferior. Thus, they did
little to combat similar perspectives of the other sighted people who
surrounded me at church and other places. This, among other things, eroded
my self-esteem over the years, and has made me somewhat introverted. I have
a hard time with chit chat and taking the initiative. Because of many of the
misconceptions and attitudes that others have about blindness, it is often
necessary for us to take that initiative in order to form friendships.

I know a good many totally blind people who do not face these barriers at
all. They are extroverted, outgoing and confident. So, in a roundabout way,
blindness isolates me on the social scene sometimes, but again, it isn't the
fact that I am blind. It is the way I have developed emotionally and come to
see myself as a person.

In my case, my hearing impairment plays a role in the situation also, I'm
sure.

Diane Graves
----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jesse
Johnson
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 6:51 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners

Thanks Steve. I couldn't have put it nearly as well.  Jaybee Jesse Johnson
jayjohnson66 at me.com



On Jan 25, 2013, at 10:59 AM, Steve Jacobson <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
wrote:

> My guess is that he probably had something in mind when he asked this 
> question.  While I don't think all blind persons are loners, I 
> definitely think that there are definite barriers to become a part of 
> a group of sighted persons.  In my case, some of the barriers may well 
> be of my own making, I won't claim otherwise, but not all of them.  I 
> also think that blind kids are often forced to find their own way of 
> entertaining themselves unless they are particularly lucky.  There are 
> many variables involved in looking at what makes each of us what we 
> are, and there are many dangers in drawing conclusions based upon one 
> characteristic, but I think it is wrong to deny that blindness can 
> sometimes isolate one even if one is not naturally a loner.  
> Transportation can by itself be a key factor in being isolated.  While 
> I don't think it makes sense that being isolated is something that should
be denied or swept under the rug, I also don't feel one should just sit
around being isolated and feeling sorry for oneself.  There are things that
one can do about it.  Also, realizing that it simply happens sometimes and
not getting all bent out of shape about it helps.  Finally, I believe
strongly that being comfortable with other blind people is not a bad thing.
I am not saying that one needs to stick to socializing with blind people and
forget about those who are sighted, but neither should one feel that getting
support from others who share one's characteristic is a bad thing.
> 
> Best regards,
> 
> Steve Jacobson
> 
> On Fri, 25 Jan 2013 01:03:15 -0600, Chasity Jackson wrote:
> 
>> I do not agree with this either.
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Gary Wunder" <gwunder at earthlink.net>
>> To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 4:00 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
> 
> 
>>> Hi, RJ. I do not. Do you?
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of RJ 
>>> Sandefur
>>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 3:48 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>>> 
>>> Why do you think a lot of blind people are loners? In other words 
>>> icelated?
>>> RJ _______________________________________________
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> 
> 
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