[Blindtlk] blind people being loners

Sat Jan 26 03:29:55 UTC 2013

Diane,

I don't think being introverted is a bad thing.  It's just a 
characteristic like being blond or being left handed or whatever.  It is 
society that tells us that being extroverted is the preference.  Just 
like blonds have more fun and that sort of thing.  It's silly.

Introverts have friends and are involved in our communities.  We just 
don't feel the need to be the center of attention or be constantly 
surrounded by hoards of people.   Like I said before being alone and 
being lonely are two very different things.  I spend a fair bit of time 
alone, but I am rarely lonely.

I think it's really, really important for people to find their own 
balance of social and alone times.  Everyone is going to be a little 
different in this regard.  I also think it's really unhealthy to feel 
like you have to have a certain number of friends or attend some magical 
number of social functions in order to be somebody.  You are awesome 
just the way you are!

Certainly if you feel lonely more than every now and then, that's a sign 
that you are probably not getting enough social time.  I'd encourage 
folks to do whatever it takes to meet that need.  Join a local club, 
volunteer somewhere, go to church or take a class at a local college.  
It can be tough to make that leap, but it will be worth it once you get 
through the discomfort of making the change.

Julie

On 1/25/2013 9:09 PM, Diane Graves wrote:
> Hi Steve and All,
>
> I would agree with Steve. I think that my blindness is a contributing factor
> to why I often have trouble making friends with sighted people, but it isn't
> the characteristic itself. It goes much deeper than that. Even at work, I
> have good working relationships with most all of the people in my office,
> but not many who I would really call friends.
>
> My blindness is a factor because I didn't get the support and affirmation
> that I needed growing up. I know that my family loved me, but it was clear
> that they sometimes felt my blindness made me inferior. Thus, they did
> little to combat similar perspectives of the other sighted people who
> surrounded me at church and other places. This, among other things, eroded
> my self-esteem over the years, and has made me somewhat introverted. I have
> a hard time with chit chat and taking the initiative. Because of many of the
> misconceptions and attitudes that others have about blindness, it is often
> necessary for us to take that initiative in order to form friendships.
>
> I know a good many totally blind people who do not face these barriers at
> all. They are extroverted, outgoing and confident. So, in a roundabout way,
> blindness isolates me on the social scene sometimes, but again, it isn't the
> fact that I am blind. It is the way I have developed emotionally and come to
> see myself as a person.
>
> In my case, my hearing impairment plays a role in the situation also, I'm
> sure.
>
> Diane Graves
> ----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jesse
> Johnson
> Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 6:51 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>
> Thanks Steve. I couldn't have put it nearly as well.  Jaybee Jesse Johnson
> jayjohnson66 at me.com
>
>
>
> On Jan 25, 2013, at 10:59 AM, Steve Jacobson<steve.jacobson at visi.com>
> wrote:
>
>> My guess is that he probably had something in mind when he asked this
>> question.  While I don't think all blind persons are loners, I
>> definitely think that there are definite barriers to become a part of
>> a group of sighted persons.  In my case, some of the barriers may well
>> be of my own making, I won't claim otherwise, but not all of them.  I
>> also think that blind kids are often forced to find their own way of
>> entertaining themselves unless they are particularly lucky.  There are
>> many variables involved in looking at what makes each of us what we
>> are, and there are many dangers in drawing conclusions based upon one
>> characteristic, but I think it is wrong to deny that blindness can
>> sometimes isolate one even if one is not naturally a loner.
>> Transportation can by itself be a key factor in being isolated.  While
>> I don't think it makes sense that being isolated is something that should
> be denied or swept under the rug, I also don't feel one should just sit
> around being isolated and feeling sorry for oneself.  There are things that
> one can do about it.  Also, realizing that it simply happens sometimes and
> not getting all bent out of shape about it helps.  Finally, I believe
> strongly that being comfortable with other blind people is not a bad thing.
> I am not saying that one needs to stick to socializing with blind people and
> forget about those who are sighted, but neither should one feel that getting
> support from others who share one's characteristic is a bad thing.
>> Best regards,
>>
>> Steve Jacobson
>>
>> On Fri, 25 Jan 2013 01:03:15 -0600, Chasity Jackson wrote:
>>
>>> I do not agree with this either.
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Gary Wunder"<gwunder at earthlink.net>
>>> To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'"<blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 4:00 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>>
>>>> Hi, RJ. I do not. Do you?
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of RJ
>>>> Sandefur
>>>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 3:48 PM
>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>>>>
>>>> Why do you think a lot of blind people are loners? In other words
>>>> icelated?
>>>> RJ _______________________________________________
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