[Blindtlk] blind people being loners

Sat Jan 26 04:00:40 UTC 2013

Julie,

	I completely agree. Making somebody feel like they have to be an
extravert takes all the fun out of it. <Smile.>

Chris

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Julie J.
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 10:30 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners

Diane,

I don't think being introverted is a bad thing.  It's just a characteristic
like being blond or being left handed or whatever.  It is society that tells
us that being extroverted is the preference.  Just like blonds have more fun
and that sort of thing.  It's silly.

Introverts have friends and are involved in our communities.  We just don't
feel the need to be the center of attention or be constantly 
surrounded by hoards of people.   Like I said before being alone and 
being lonely are two very different things.  I spend a fair bit of time
alone, but I am rarely lonely.

I think it's really, really important for people to find their own balance
of social and alone times.  Everyone is going to be a little different in
this regard.  I also think it's really unhealthy to feel like you have to
have a certain number of friends or attend some magical number of social
functions in order to be somebody.  You are awesome just the way you are!

Certainly if you feel lonely more than every now and then, that's a sign
that you are probably not getting enough social time.  I'd encourage folks
to do whatever it takes to meet that need.  Join a local club, volunteer
somewhere, go to church or take a class at a local college.  
It can be tough to make that leap, but it will be worth it once you get
through the discomfort of making the change.

Julie

On 1/25/2013 9:09 PM, Diane Graves wrote:
> Hi Steve and All,
>
> I would agree with Steve. I think that my blindness is a contributing 
> factor to why I often have trouble making friends with sighted people, 
> but it isn't the characteristic itself. It goes much deeper than that. 
> Even at work, I have good working relationships with most all of the 
> people in my office, but not many who I would really call friends.
>
> My blindness is a factor because I didn't get the support and 
> affirmation that I needed growing up. I know that my family loved me, 
> but it was clear that they sometimes felt my blindness made me 
> inferior. Thus, they did little to combat similar perspectives of the 
> other sighted people who surrounded me at church and other places. 
> This, among other things, eroded my self-esteem over the years, and 
> has made me somewhat introverted. I have a hard time with chit chat 
> and taking the initiative. Because of many of the misconceptions and 
> attitudes that others have about blindness, it is often necessary for us
to take that initiative in order to form friendships.
>
> I know a good many totally blind people who do not face these barriers 
> at all. They are extroverted, outgoing and confident. So, in a 
> roundabout way, blindness isolates me on the social scene sometimes, 
> but again, it isn't the fact that I am blind. It is the way I have 
> developed emotionally and come to see myself as a person.
>
> In my case, my hearing impairment plays a role in the situation also, 
> I'm sure.
>
> Diane Graves
> ----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jesse 
> Johnson
> Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 6:51 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>
> Thanks Steve. I couldn't have put it nearly as well.  Jaybee Jesse 
> Johnson jayjohnson66 at me.com
>
>
>
> On Jan 25, 2013, at 10:59 AM, Steve Jacobson<steve.jacobson at visi.com>
> wrote:
>
>> My guess is that he probably had something in mind when he asked this 
>> question.  While I don't think all blind persons are loners, I 
>> definitely think that there are definite barriers to become a part of 
>> a group of sighted persons.  In my case, some of the barriers may 
>> well be of my own making, I won't claim otherwise, but not all of 
>> them.  I also think that blind kids are often forced to find their 
>> own way of entertaining themselves unless they are particularly 
>> lucky.  There are many variables involved in looking at what makes 
>> each of us what we are, and there are many dangers in drawing 
>> conclusions based upon one characteristic, but I think it is wrong to 
>> deny that blindness can sometimes isolate one even if one is not
naturally a loner.
>> Transportation can by itself be a key factor in being isolated.  
>> While I don't think it makes sense that being isolated is something 
>> that should
> be denied or swept under the rug, I also don't feel one should just 
> sit around being isolated and feeling sorry for oneself.  There are 
> things that one can do about it.  Also, realizing that it simply 
> happens sometimes and not getting all bent out of shape about it 
> helps.  Finally, I believe strongly that being comfortable with other
blind people is not a bad thing.
> I am not saying that one needs to stick to socializing with blind 
> people and forget about those who are sighted, but neither should one 
> feel that getting support from others who share one's characteristic is a
bad thing.
>> Best regards,
>>
>> Steve Jacobson
>>
>> On Fri, 25 Jan 2013 01:03:15 -0600, Chasity Jackson wrote:
>>
>>> I do not agree with this either.
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Gary Wunder"<gwunder at earthlink.net>
>>> To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'"<blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 4:00 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>>
>>>> Hi, RJ. I do not. Do you?
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of RJ 
>>>> Sandefur
>>>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 3:48 PM
>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>> Subject: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>>>>
>>>> Why do you think a lot of blind people are loners? In other words 
>>>> icelated?
>>>> RJ _______________________________________________
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