[Blindtlk] blind people being loners

Sat Jan 26 04:05:35 UTC 2013

Mike,

	Correct, although an extreme or prolonged loneliness could lead to
being a loner. To be honest, I had never heard the term "loner" in the
context of people who shun the company of others until this thread started.
When I saw the original post from RJ, I thought he was talking about loning
in the context of lending something to another person. Thank you for the
clarification.

Chris

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Mike
Freeman
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 9:54 PM
To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners

There's a difference between being a loner, i.e., shunning the company of
others, and being lonely although the one may contribute to the other.

Mike

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chris
Nusbaum
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 6:41 PM
To: gwunder at earthlink.net; 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
Cc: dots4school at gmail.com
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners

Gary, Steve, RJ and all,

	I agree with what has been said, especially the comments made by
Steve and Gary. Although blindness can sometimes be a factor in making
someone lonely, it is not the only factor. If you ask around in our
Federation or read any of the Kernel Books, you will find countless stories
of blind people who have found themselves depressed, lonely, isolated, and
even suicidal as they are first learning to cope with their new-found
blindness. Since I was born totally blind, I have never really had this
experience. However, I believe these initial feelings are completely valid
and I'm sure that I might have shared these feelings had I lost my sight
later in life. 

	I think this loneliness or depression, or, as RJ put it, being a
"loner," does not have to do with the blindness itself, but rather with how
the effected person perceives his/her blindness and the life he/she will
live after the reality of blindness sets in. Most of you, and indeed most of
the members of the NFB, can probably attest to this. Are you depressed? Do
you feel lonely or isolated? Do you feel devastated by your own blindness or
helpless without sight? I have been a member and contributor to this list
for almost two years now, and I believe that I am not too far off the mark
when I say that most of you would answer "no" to these questions. Yet, you
have been blind for a substantial part of your lives and you remain blind
now. Some of you, like myself, have been blind all your lives; others lost
your sight during childhood; and still others lost yours as an adult. If
blindness makes you depressed, you all are very good at hiding it.

	I think by now you see my point. In my opinion, if blindness is a
factor in making a person a "loner" at all, it is not because of the loss of
sight, but because of how a newly blind person sees himself or herself after
blindness. This has to do, I believe, with society's misconceptions about
blindness and the public's fear of it. It's not the newly blind person's
fault; he/she doesn't know any better. As Dr. Jernigan has so often and so
eloquently said, "The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight,
but the misunderstanding and lack of information which exist." So, this is
where we in the NFB come in. These newly blind people need support, and we
can give it to them. They need hope, and we can give that to them. They need
reassurance, and we can definitely give that to them. I believe that this is
some of the most important work we do in the Federation.

	RJ, I hope this answers your question and that my response makes
sense and doesn't offend anyone. The good news is that we, the blind members
of the NFB, can help these "loners" realize that their blindness does not
have to confine them to their current loneliness.

Chris

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Gary Wunder
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 6:01 PM
To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners

Hello, Steve.  As usual you have written a wonderful response which reflects
a great deal of thoughtfulness and life experience.  I don't find myself
disagreeing with anything you say.  As much is anything I think I would like
to see RJ say what he believes and the problems he may be having rather than
assuming that blindness is the reason for being lonely or alone or whatever
he meant.

I think that very often blindness in and of itself doesn't cause a problem
but that often it can exacerbate problems that are all too common.  I think
it is more difficult to live as an impoverished blind person than it is an
impoverished sighted person.  I think it is harder to find good counseling
if one is depressed and blind than if she is simply depressed.
Transportation certainly does isolate us, and I think that where one chooses
to live must be significantly influenced by blindness if one is not to find
him or herself at the mercy of family and friends.  

I grew up in a town that had 216 people living in it when I was there.  It
still has less than 1000.  When I go home to visit, it doesn't take long for
me to realize how few options I have in going where I want to go and in
going when I say I want to go.  I need a town with some transportation
infrastructure.  I need enough money to be able to use that transportation.

I can't tell you how many people call here who struggle with not being able
to get an education or find a job, but they will not consider moving because
most of the people they know live in their little town, or they already have
equity in their house, or they would find learning a new area too much of a
challenge.  It is hard to know how to help them.  

People who have significant medical needs are best served when they lived
near a major hospital. This is a physical reality that won't change just
because someone says it isn't fair that where one lives can determine the
timeliness and effectiveness of the care they can reasonably access. I think
the same may be true of being blind. One can live wherever he or she wants,
but there are consequences in deciding to live or stay in a small town. I
experience some sadness when I go home and realize the visit is over and I
live three hours from my family, but I also know that I couldn't live
independently in that small farming community where every trip to get
groceries, go to the hardware store, or visit the bank is determined by the
schedule of another. 

Gary

-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Steve
Jacobson
Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 11:00 AM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners

My guess is that he probably had something in mind when he asked this
question.  While I don't think all blind persons are loners, I definitely
think that there are definite barriers to become a part of a group of
sighted persons.  In my case, some of the barriers may well be of my own
making, I won't claim otherwise, but not all of them.  I also think that
blind kids are often forced to find their own way of entertaining themselves
unless they are particularly lucky.  There are many variables involved in
looking at what makes each of us what we are, and there are many dangers in
drawing conclusions based upon one characteristic, but I think it is wrong
to deny that blindness can sometimes isolate one even if one is not
naturally a loner.  Transportation can by itself be a key factor in being
isolated.  While I don't think it makes sense that being isolated is
something that should be denied or swept under the rug, I also don't feel
one should just sit around being isolated and feeling sorry for oneself.
There are things that one can do about it.  Also, realizing that it simply
happens sometimes and not getting all bent out of shape about it helps.
Finally, I believe strongly that being comfortable with other blind people
is not a bad thing.  I am not saying that one needs to stick to socializing
with blind people and forget about those who are sighted, but neither should
one feel that getting support from others who share one's characteristic is
a bad thing.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Fri, 25 Jan 2013 01:03:15 -0600, Chasity Jackson wrote:

>I do not agree with this either.
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Gary Wunder" <gwunder at earthlink.net>
>To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 4:00 PM
>Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners

>> Hi, RJ. I do not. Do you?
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of RJ 
>> Sandefur
>> Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2013 3:48 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Subject: [Blindtlk] blind people being loners
>>
>> Why do you think a lot of blind people are loners? In other words 
>> isolated?
>> RJ _______________________________________________
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