[Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted

Bryan Schulz b.schulz at sbcglobal.net
Sat Mar 16 14:30:59 UTC 2013


hi,

if you are decent with your computer, you can use openbook even in demo mode 
if you can't afford it for 40 minutes then you have to restart it and you 
could scan your bill.
Bryan Schulz


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Julie J." <julielj at neb.rr.com>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, March 16, 2013 8:30 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted


> Ericka,
>
> My husband is sighted.  Before me he knew one other blind person and she 
> had only been blind for a short time before he met me.  So his firsthand 
> experience with blindness was extremely limited.   I think this actually 
> turned out to be a good thing because he  hadn't come to a lot of odd 
> assumptions about what I could and couldn't do.
>
> We have been married for 8 years now.  Anyway from the beginning I would 
> just explain what would be helpful and what wouldn't as things came up in 
> everyday life.  When we went to a restaurant and he tried to steer me from 
> behind pressing on my shoulders, what is affectionately called the 
> wheelbarrow method, I asked him to please never do that again.  I 
> explained that I find it extremely disconcerting and awkward.  Instead I 
> asked that he give me verbal directions or offer his arm for me to take. 
> I absolutely insist that whatever mobility method I use at any given 
> moment, cane, guide dog, sighted guide or nothing, that it is always my 
> choice.
>
> Our method for the mail and bills is this.  Whomever comes home first 
> grabs the mail out of the box.  It goes on the end of the dining room 
> table for sorting.  My husband sorts through the mail, putting my letters 
> in a pile on the designated corner of my desk where I have asked him to 
> put them.  I go through my mail myself using a CCTV.  We have split up our 
> household bills so that we are each responsible or specific bills.   We 
> have separate checking accounts.
>
> I too live in a small town.  There is limited public transportation. 
> There is a door to door van service, a town to town van service, one taxi 
> and shuttles that will take you to nearby larger cities that the local 
> vans don't go to.  Mostly though, I walk.  The cool thing about little 
> towns is that they are small enough that you can walk to most everything. 
> I can get to the bank, post office, courthouse, shopping, grocery stores, 
> farmers market etc.  I cannot walk to WalMart, the hospital and one school 
> where I have periodic meetings.  When I need a ride someplace I ask him. 
> If he is able to take me he'll let me know.  If he can't I ask someone 
> else.
>
> I agree organization is important.  Fortunately both my husband and myself 
> are pretty organized.  We do have our individual messy spaces though.  His 
> desk drives me nuts.  It's piles and piles of papers everywhere.   My 
> craft supplies tend to be a bit wild too.  However the common living 
> spaces are kept neat and organized.  It works for us.
>
> Could you have him read the credit card number to you so you could put it 
> into a format that allows you independent access?  Maybe write it in bold 
> black marker, Braille or audio?   Then you could use it to pay on line 
> bills or internet shopping or whatever you needed.
>
> I agree with the suggestion to check out what services are available in 
> your state.  I think when you feel more comfortable and confident in 
> yourself that it will ease your husband's mind.
>
> Julie
>
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