[Blindtlk] Rblind married to a sighted
Ericka J. Short
ericka.short at att.net
Sat Mar 16 18:51:06 UTC 2013
Thanks for all the great feedback and Mari, I'll be in touch with you!
I do have transit available but thanks for the kudos! We have a very
inadequate bus system in Kenosha. Since it's the fourth largest community
in WI they would be dumb to not provide anything. Along with the 6 am to 5
pm bus hours on M-F and 9 am tyo 43 pm on Sat. we have the buses
inconsistently running either on the half hour or the hour. The website
where you can get information is a mess and they haven't changed the routes
in almost 40 years. We are more of a bedroom community for those working
in IL, so when the community expanded over the years all the stores left to
the suburbs. Sad to have this happen to a community of almost 100,000
people. paratransit and a volunteer transportation program . Nothing is
free and the problem is it's hard to qualify for the paratransit or the
volunteer help. They cost more than the bus and have income /age
/disability requirements for them. The transit system is on the bottom of
the priority list so they do not advertise or really fund it. The head of
the program thinks that a trolley on rails is the answer to all Kenosha's
busing problems. The fact that their has been a strong history of car
manufacturing here is a big obstacle we have. Too many on council and
voters remember or had worked for American Motors in the past. We just
lost the Chrysler engine plant a few years ago. No matter how many
statistics I toss, suggestions trying to work with them or stories of
stranded disabled they still really don't care much. When the city's
transit commission decided this month not to meet because they had no items
for their agenda, I know they have little in touch with those who might use
it and those who depend on it in the community. The Good thing here is that
I am not alone. We have two groups of advocates trying to work for
improvements. One is a religious affiliated one and the other is a
grassroots advocacy of various disabled working together. More people,
stronger voice!
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-request at nfbnet.org
Sent: Saturday, March 16, 2013 12:00 PM
To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Subject: blindtlk Digest, Vol 81, Issue 19
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Today's Topics:
1. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (justin williams)
2. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (justin williams)
3. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (Julie J.)
4. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (Bryan Schulz)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Fri, 15 Mar 2013 01:15:59 -0400
From: "justin williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID: <006f01ce213c$2edef0c0$8c9cd240$@gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Wow. I don't know how you do that. I have simply decided that I am not
living anywhere where there isn't a city that has at least desent
transportation around me. I am not downing what you did, but that is not
for me. I hope you can do a few things you like to do. I think you really
persevered through that. Great job.
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Mari
Hunziker
Sent: Friday, March 15, 2013 11:00 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
HI Ericka,
I can totally relate. I am legally blind, low to high partical depending on
the day as well married to a sighted man. We have been married for 15 and a
half years and it has taken us a very long time to figure it out. I'd even
say we are still learning how to deal with it each day. I too live in a
small town in Texas with no transportation. I must rely on neighbors,
friends, church members or my husband. He was in school fro the last 8 years
- gone from 7am till about 11pm. I had to find the courage to ask someone
for a ride. He just graduated in December and he is available a little more
to help drive me around to get errands done. I've learned that I don't ever
get to do what I want to do. Now that we have kids their needs come first.
Grocery shopping, clothes, shoe, school supply shopping and then anything
else that needs to get done. I have learned to plan and that actually took a
while to develop since I am not a very organized person when it comes to
meal planning. But my friends from church turned me onto a great monthly
planner that does all the work for you. You just follow the steps and viola
a sensational meal is ready in minutes. I have attached it here for you and
anyone on the list to take and copy. Take a look I think its great. It
provides a great example of what to do if you want to change up the recipes
to. Its called Month of Menus!. About the blind and sighted thing. There is
a Department of Blind Services in your state.
http://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/blind/ There are several links with information
on Adjustment skills, Adaptive Equipment, Blindness Education,
Rehabilitation Teaching Services, Resources and Information, etc. Take a
look at the link above and call to get some assistance. It will make a huge
difference. Also, I am happy to talk or email off list. Let me know if you'd
like my info and if you'd like to chat off line. Good luck and God Bless.
Life is challenging, but we are all here to help each other through it.
Thanks,
Mari Hunziker
On Fri, Mar 15, 2013 at 8:07 PM, Ericka J. Short
<ericka.short at att.net>wrote:
> I know we usually talk about computers, or philosophy here, but I
> think this is an important topic. I just wondered what kind of things
> people have done to make their sighted spouse understand the
> disability thing. The biggest part of things for us is that we have
> horrible transit here in Kenosha and so it's difficult to
> independently travel alone. My husband just doesn't know what to do
> about this. I take rides with friends or people from church at times,
> but some things I want to ride with my husband to together. He either
> feels like he should be my only transportation or not at all. It's
> driving me batty! Another really big issue is the fact I need things
> organized (not necessarily good at that however) to be more
> independent. If he's going to be all male and dump everything in
> piles all over the house for me to trip over every once in a while,
> then he can't get mad at me for a bill not getting paid, a lost check or
his the credit card. Mine you there is no may to read a credit card
number on a cctv.
> I just can't do it. He seems to think he should "know" how to
> handle it and dosent realize that some people have vision that
> doesn't stay stable. Being a partial it is really difficult to
> explain. Some days I can see better than others for example.
>
> I use my cane lots of the time outside the house and sometimes at church.
> Once I learn the set up of a place I don['t have to ask any more
> questions usually than the average sighted person. I can't read print
> or use a monocular for a lot of outside things or indoors either for
> that matter. I do use strong reading glasses a lot. I am learning
> braille but I"ve been a print user all l my life with minimal computer
> skills and even less income Help! I feel like I'm in the twilight
> zone of sight as it is and can see why he'd be frustrated. I am too!
>
> Ericka
> _______________________________________________
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>
--
*Have A Blessed Day!
Mari Hunziker
512-670-9950 home
512-587-1463 cell
*
------------------------------
Message: 2
Date: Fri, 15 Mar 2013 01:22:37 -0400
From: "justin williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID: <007101ce213d$1bb45d90$531d18b0$@gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
I don't understand why he would think he shouldn't be your transportation,
or be the only transportation you have. Cuts down on flexibility.
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Ericka J.
Short
Sent: Friday, March 15, 2013 9:08 PM
To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Subject: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
I know we usually talk about computers, or philosophy here, but I think this
is an important topic. I just wondered what kind of things people have done
to make their sighted spouse understand the disability thing. The biggest
part of things for us is that we have horrible transit here in Kenosha and
so it?s difficult to independently travel alone. My husband just doesn?t
know what to do about this. I take rides with friends or people from
church at times, but some things I want to ride with my husband to together.
He either feels like he should be my only transportation or not at all.
It?s driving me batty! Another really big issue is the fact I need things
organized (not necessarily good at that however) to be more independent. If
he?s going to be all male and dump everything in piles all over the house
for me to trip over every once in a while, then he can?t get mad at me for a
bill not getting paid, a lost check or his the credit card. Mine you there
is no may to read a credit card number on a cctv. I just can?t do it. He
seems to think he should ?know? how to handle it and dosent realize that
some people have vision that doesn?t stay stable. Being a partial it is
really difficult to explain. Some days I can see better than others for
example.
I use my cane lots of the time outside the house and sometimes at church.
Once I learn the set up of a place I don[?t have to ask any more questions
usually than the average sighted person. I can?t read print or use a
monocular for a lot of outside things or indoors either for that matter. I
do use strong reading glasses a lot. I am learning braille but I?ve been a
print user all l my life with minimal computer skills and even less income
Help! I feel like I?m in the twilight zone of sight as it is and can see
why he?d be frustrated. I am too!
Ericka
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------------------------------
Message: 3
Date: Sat, 16 Mar 2013 08:30:47 -0500
From: "Julie J." <julielj at neb.rr.com>
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID: <51447407.3080103 at neb.rr.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8; format=flowed
Ericka,
My husband is sighted. Before me he knew one other blind person and she
had only been blind for a short time before he met me. So his firsthand
experience with blindness was extremely limited. I think this actually
turned out to be a good thing because he hadn't come to a lot of odd
assumptions about what I could and couldn't do.
We have been married for 8 years now. Anyway from the beginning I would
just explain what would be helpful and what wouldn't as things came up
in everyday life. When we went to a restaurant and he tried to steer me
from behind pressing on my shoulders, what is affectionately called the
wheelbarrow method, I asked him to please never do that again. I
explained that I find it extremely disconcerting and awkward. Instead I
asked that he give me verbal directions or offer his arm for me to
take. I absolutely insist that whatever mobility method I use at any
given moment, cane, guide dog, sighted guide or nothing, that it is
always my choice.
Our method for the mail and bills is this. Whomever comes home first
grabs the mail out of the box. It goes on the end of the dining room
table for sorting. My husband sorts through the mail, putting my
letters in a pile on the designated corner of my desk where I have asked
him to put them. I go through my mail myself using a CCTV. We have
split up our household bills so that we are each responsible or specific
bills. We have separate checking accounts.
I too live in a small town. There is limited public transportation.
There is a door to door van service, a town to town van service, one
taxi and shuttles that will take you to nearby larger cities that the
local vans don't go to. Mostly though, I walk. The cool thing about
little towns is that they are small enough that you can walk to most
everything. I can get to the bank, post office, courthouse, shopping,
grocery stores, farmers market etc. I cannot walk to WalMart, the
hospital and one school where I have periodic meetings. When I need a
ride someplace I ask him. If he is able to take me he'll let me know.
If he can't I ask someone else.
I agree organization is important. Fortunately both my husband and
myself are pretty organized. We do have our individual messy spaces
though. His desk drives me nuts. It's piles and piles of papers
everywhere. My craft supplies tend to be a bit wild too. However the
common living spaces are kept neat and organized. It works for us.
Could you have him read the credit card number to you so you could put
it into a format that allows you independent access? Maybe write it in
bold black marker, Braille or audio? Then you could use it to pay on
line bills or internet shopping or whatever you needed.
I agree with the suggestion to check out what services are available in
your state. I think when you feel more comfortable and confident in
yourself that it will ease your husband's mind.
Julie
------------------------------
Message: 4
Date: Sat, 16 Mar 2013 09:30:59 -0500
From: "Bryan Schulz" <b.schulz at sbcglobal.net>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID: <6D0A92B241944E84A37FB1F045B9DD84 at HP8730notebook>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
reply-type=response
hi,
if you are decent with your computer, you can use openbook even in demo mode
if you can't afford it for 40 minutes then you have to restart it and you
could scan your bill.
Bryan Schulz
----- Original Message -----
From: "Julie J." <julielj at neb.rr.com>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, March 16, 2013 8:30 AM
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
> Ericka,
>
> My husband is sighted. Before me he knew one other blind person and she
> had only been blind for a short time before he met me. So his firsthand
> experience with blindness was extremely limited. I think this actually
> turned out to be a good thing because he hadn't come to a lot of odd
> assumptions about what I could and couldn't do.
>
> We have been married for 8 years now. Anyway from the beginning I would
> just explain what would be helpful and what wouldn't as things came up in
> everyday life. When we went to a restaurant and he tried to steer me from
> behind pressing on my shoulders, what is affectionately called the
> wheelbarrow method, I asked him to please never do that again. I
> explained that I find it extremely disconcerting and awkward. Instead I
> asked that he give me verbal directions or offer his arm for me to take.
> I absolutely insist that whatever mobility method I use at any given
> moment, cane, guide dog, sighted guide or nothing, that it is always my
> choice.
>
> Our method for the mail and bills is this. Whomever comes home first
> grabs the mail out of the box. It goes on the end of the dining room
> table for sorting. My husband sorts through the mail, putting my letters
> in a pile on the designated corner of my desk where I have asked him to
> put them. I go through my mail myself using a CCTV. We have split up our
> household bills so that we are each responsible or specific bills. We
> have separate checking accounts.
>
> I too live in a small town. There is limited public transportation.
> There is a door to door van service, a town to town van service, one taxi
> and shuttles that will take you to nearby larger cities that the local
> vans don't go to. Mostly though, I walk. The cool thing about little
> towns is that they are small enough that you can walk to most everything.
> I can get to the bank, post office, courthouse, shopping, grocery stores,
> farmers market etc. I cannot walk to WalMart, the hospital and one school
> where I have periodic meetings. When I need a ride someplace I ask him.
> If he is able to take me he'll let me know. If he can't I ask someone
> else.
>
> I agree organization is important. Fortunately both my husband and myself
> are pretty organized. We do have our individual messy spaces though. His
> desk drives me nuts. It's piles and piles of papers everywhere. My
> craft supplies tend to be a bit wild too. However the common living
> spaces are kept neat and organized. It works for us.
>
> Could you have him read the credit card number to you so you could put it
> into a format that allows you independent access? Maybe write it in bold
> black marker, Braille or audio? Then you could use it to pay on line
> bills or internet shopping or whatever you needed.
>
> I agree with the suggestion to check out what services are available in
> your state. I think when you feel more comfortable and confident in
> yourself that it will ease your husband's mind.
>
> Julie
>
> _______________________________________________
> blindtlk mailing list
> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blindtlk:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/b.schulz%40sbcglobal.net
------------------------------
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